The Story Of My Life
by K-OfTheSouthernIsles
Summary: It's hard to give a description without revealing the story! But, lots of drama, fluff, anger, and a baby! (No slash!) Each chapter is the name of a song that has to do with the situation.
1. Forever And Always

"I'm here now." A hand lightly touched my sobbing shoulder. I look up from my hands, that were holding my head, to the man who stands before me. I wanna speak to him, but I just can't. My words are trapped in my throat. Here stands my best friend, and I am speechless. He sits next to me, pulling me to his side, stroking my hair out of face. I have myself so wound up that my stomach feels tight and so does my throat.

"Tell me what's the matter." James coos. When I think of having to say what happened, I start crying all over again.

"Hey. Hey. Lighten up. And, go take one of these. You may be fretting over nothing." He hands over the pregnancy tests that I asked him for. Should the fact that he got them for me without a second thought reveal how amazing he is?

I nod taking the bag from him. As I stand up, I look at his face, and in his eyes he seems worried. Man. I hate myself for making him look like that. I walk towards the bathroom, closing the door. I lean back against the door, sigh, then pick the cardboard box apart. I'm not even sure that I have to pee, but I unbutton my jeans and sit down anyways. The instructions fall out of the box, but how hard can it be to pee on a plastic stick? I tear the package containing the test open, stare at it for a little, and realize this is gonna change my life.

I finish, then stand and flush the toilet. My pants are re-zipped; taking a minute looking at the test, trying to clear my mind, but nothing happens. I go to open the door, and there James stands. All 6' 1" of him was right outside of my bathroom door. I set the test down on the vanity counter.

"So?" He asks.

"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders and walk away.

"You don't know? Either it was positive or negative. Did you wait 5 minutes?" He picks up the test and follows me.

"No."

"Well, that's the problem, Sawyer. Sit and tell me what happened. Why do you think you need a pregnancy test?" He sits on the couch. In no way does he make me feel pressured, but it's so easy to tell him everything.

"Long story or short?"

"Just tell me what I need to know."

"You know my birthday was a few weeks ago. Cyrus and everyone was celebrating with drinks, but you know my 'No drinks, no drugs' policy. It would interfere with my nursing school. But, Cyrus had too many drinks," I put my hand over my mouth to block the cry that came, but couldn't block the tears that come down my face, " And, he wouldn't stop. I asked him to, but he wouldn't." By this point, it is a battle to understand what I am saying through the hard sobbing. "But I've been feeling drug down lately. And, of course, since the night it happened, I've been scared of this. And, I was waiting for today. I was supposed to start my period today. But, I didn't."

Fear is shaking my hands and words.

"I'll kill him." James states matter of factually.

"No. Please. I love him. He didn't mean to."

"Well," James tilts his head towards me, "Let's hope he loves you back. You are carrying his baby now."

"What?" I snatch the test away from his clutch, and examine the big, pink plus sign that is glaring at me. Moments pass while we sit in silence.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know." I finally look away from the test.

"You are gonna be fine. I know. And, you're so lucky. You've got a miracle growing under your skin. Right here, " He smiles, touching my belly button area with a smile. "You've been chosen to mother a new life, who may go on to change the world. Please, don't be upset," He pulls me in a hug, "Everything will be okay."

"Thank you." I hug him back.

"Do you think you'll keep it?"

"I don't doubt it. I just can not imagine giving up something that I spent months making." For the first time in days, I smile genuinely. He laughs too.

"I believe you need to inform someone of their impending fatherhood."

"Yes!" My crying ceases to be replaced with smile. At this moment, I have no idea why I was freaking out earlier. I mean, I love Cyrus, Cyrus loves me. We can do this. We've even talked about having children, in theory much further in the future, but it'll be okay.

"He's at work! I'll go see him now! Wait, I don't have my car!"

"I'll take you, Mama Mia."

I grab my phone and the test, cramming them in my purse. The ride to the mall is a nervous and overly excited one. I practice how I am going to tell Cyrus by using James.

"Come on! Come on!" As the car comes to a halt in front of the mall, I hop out. Everything is becoming a blur. I take off running for Hot Topic. As quickly as my feet will take me, and just as I turn to where the store is, he is walking out.

"Cy!" I run toward him. He looks back at me and smiles with shock slightly on his face. His arms open and I hop up, wrapping my legs around his waist, he holds me, and I clash my lips with his.

"Oh! Someone having a good day?" Those blue eyes of his look back at me.

"Sort of! Are you on break?"

"Yes. I was about to go get a smoke."

"Well, okay."

He lowers me down, then takes my hand. We make small talk, walk to the parking lot to his car, and he gets his cigarettes. He pulls one out, lights it, tosses the lighter back in the car, and takes his first huff.

"So, you gonna tell me what lead up to your fabulous entrance?" He exhales the smoke, leaving the cigarette between his middle and index finger. And, the smile that consumes my face made the muscles ache, but I don't care.

"Wow. It must be good." He inhales another hit of the nicotine filled death trap between his fingers.

"Well, you're gonna have to stop doing that around me, for one thing." I swat my hand in front my face to fan the smoke away.

"Baby, you know that I'm trying. And, I've improved from what I used to do."

"But, don't you know that you're not supposed to smoke around pregnant women?"

"I know that, but that's not something that we're having to deal with now. That'll come later. I'll be completely done with smoking by then."

"What if we did have to deal with it now? Would you quit?"

"Of course, I would. But, we don't have to." He scratches at his hairline after another inhale of death.

"So, you wouldn't wanna be a dad soon?"

"I don't know. Why are you so determined to talk about this today?" His arm holds me closer to his chest, and he continues to puff his cigarette, unaware how truly mistaken he is.

"Wouldn't you want a baby?"

"In a few years, when we have more money, and we're out of school and maybe married."

"But, just play along with me. What if we were to have a baby now? What would we do?"

"I don't know. You can't truly tell what would happen until it actually happens."

"Well, it actually is."

"What is, Baby?" He flicks the butt of the cigarette away, wraps both arms around me, then kisses the side of my face.

"We're going to have a baby." I hear him laugh.

"I gotta give it to you, you certainly are an expert level prankster."

"I'm not kidding though." I reach in my purse, and hand over the test. He looks at it, without taking it from my hand.

"You're pregnant?"

"With your baby." I nod. Physically, he drains of all color and emotion. This is when the doubt starts to set back in. He isn't moving. Only looking to be biting the inside of his cheek.

"You're not keeping it, are you?" I feel like my heart is being torn from my chest.

"I- I don't understand."

"Are you getting an abortion or what?" I push away from him and gawk.

"Cyrus! Why would you say that? This is your child!"

"We're not ready for it! It will only struggle between two young parents! What an unfair life!"

"Young parents?! We're not 15! You'll be 23 in a few months, and I'll be 21! Unfair is not getting a chance to live!"

"So, what? You're gonna get fat and get stretch marks and permanent emotional damage so that you can give it away?"

"I wasn't planning on giving our baby away!"

"You were gonna keep it?!" His face scrunches in disbelief.

"Yes!"

"Why?!"

"Because, it's not the baby's fault that it was made! We made it! And, it deserves a chance."

"I'm not ready for a kid, Sawyer, and neither are you. I don't think we should keep it."

"You're not the one who's carrying our baby! I am! Why are you so against this?!"

"You know why. And, we are not ready. That's final." He states, then looks away; wiping the corners of his mouth, which is habit of his when he's frustrated. My eyes are welling with tears. This isn't fair. This isn't how it was supposed to be.

"I am not killing our baby."

"We can't keep it. And, I don't see you spending nine months being pregnant and then giving it away. You need to get rid of it now."

"We could do it."

"You're working and going to school, and so am I, where do you plan on fitting in being a parent? Between biology and chemistry or on your 15 minute breaks? We're making a living, getting by now. We can not afford a baby. Where would we keep it? At your brother's? I don't think he'd want a crying baby around all the time. And, we can not keep it at my house. My parent's would kill you and me both if they ever found out."

"Finance isn't the reason you don't want our baby. You're still scared of him! You're so scared of being him that you wanna keep putting off your life! But, you're already like him. Too late. This would be the only time he'd ever be proud of you." I see the hurt and fury in Cyrus's face. He pushes past me. "I'm keeping the baby, whether you like it or not!"

"Then, we're through." He yells back. We're through, the words echo. We're through.

The burning, breaking feeling tearing through my whole body brings me to my knees. The next phase of calling James back, him finding me, supporting me up, putting me in his car, and taking me home are just a montage in brain. Going to bed, sobbing into my pillow along with screaming and more crying, and ruined makeup accompany soon after.

By the time that my brother, Logan, got home; I am long gone. But, James takes it upon himself to warn Logan what is to wait for him. Emotions, tempers, and patience are going to be flaring.

_**Chapter Song: Forever And Always by Taylor Swift**_

_**Author's Note: I have a Pinterest board for this story. It's pictures to go along with the story. So, if you want to see; send me a private message.**_


	2. I Learned From You

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

"When did this happen? How long have I not known?" Logan's voice floats down the hall.

"She just found out earlier today. I took her to see him, and then this." James's follows soon after.

I have regained conciseness with a pounding head and swollen eyes. From what I can see, my pillow has acquired my mascara and tears. Unfortunately, not my heartache.

"And, she's absolutely sure?"

"Pretty sure. She took a test."

"And, he broke up with her?"

"She wasn't really clear with her words, but what I did translate was that he said that they are through. Kinda selfish, don't you think?" It sounds like maybe a glass cup is set down on the dining table.

"I don't condone his actions, but especially not both of theirs. Is she okay?"

"She fell asleep a while ago." James sighs. Logan groans.

They're debating over my choices and my situation like I am a child. Though I have full control of my facilities, I jump out of bed like a crazy lady, fly down to the dining room, and burst out with my opinion.

"I am not a kid! I am very aware of my actions and the consequences! If you all do not like them, then fine! I can make it on my own!" Before I can insert the next sentence, Logan is out of his seat giving me his input.

"No one said anything like that! Quit jumping to conclusions!"

"Don't yell at me, Logan!"

"You started it!"

"I had a bad day!"

"Not my fault that you got knocked up and your boyfriend isn't man enough to stick around!"

"You don't know anything! Shut up! You're such a hypocrite! Such a hypocrite! Don't you dare throw this up in my face!"

"Don't you dare bring her into this. I swear, you'll regret it." Logan scowls and almost bares his teeth.

"Shut up. Both of you." James steps between us, separating our seething figures. Logan shakes his head and steps back running a hand over his hair. My hands grasp my upper arms and walk away too. "Now, act like the civilized adults that you are to calmly talk about this. There is already enough, and going to be more, tension around. She's your little sister. He's your big brother. You two were born to have to put up with each other's problems for life. So, stop yelling." James tries his best to relieve tension in the air, but everyone knows what a hardheaded person that Logan is; imagine him and I in an argument.

"She started it." Logan mumbles.

"I don't care. I'll end it. Now, apologize for being ugly to each other." James gives a warning look to both of us.

"I'm sorry for telling the truth." Logan snarls.

"I am not your parents! But, God help me! I am about to whip both of you." For a while, Logan and I have to make petty lashes and come backs. Not that James was pleased with that, he wanted us to say that we're sorry and hug it out. We'd get there, but we're both confused and we hurt each other, so it'll be a slow process.

A hour and many arguments and insults later, we decide that it is alright to drop it. Sitting on opposite sides of the room, red faced, and sore throats from yelling occasionally; we definitely are done.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just scared for you. It's not easy to be in your situation, I know, but what are you going to do? What are you going to do, Sawyer?"

"I'm gonna take some time to think through what's best." I get choked on my words. "I'll see what would be best for my baby. Whether it means that I'm part their life or not." I hold my sides. It is now 1:30 in the morning.

"I'm sorry this has happened." I stand up and go sit by him; we wrap our arms around each other.

"I'm scared. What if I can't do this? What if I have to give up my baby?" He supports my weight against him.

"It'll be okay. It will. You are a strong, young lady. You will not crumble. You will hold your head high. Maybe, Cyrus just needs some time. It really came as a shock. Just give it time. Either way, you've got a pretty awesome brother and 3 supportive, extended brothers."

"How am I gonna tell mom and dad? They're gonna be so disappointed."

"You're their girl. Everything will be okay, Little Bit. Now, let's get some sleep. We'll continue in the morning." He loosens his hug, letting me go.

"Thank you."

He ruffles my hair, ascending the steps to his room. Now, James and I stand in the living room.

"Thank you, James. For everything." I wipe the palm of my hands down my jeans.

"Of course."

"You can go home. It's okay."

"Or, since it's Christmas Eve now, I could stay and we can watch Christmas movies until we pass out. Because, frankly, I don't wanna drive."

"Alright." We grab pillows and blankets then pile in the living room. He takes the couch, and I go to the love seat. 'ELF' is our choice of movie, but we are out like lights within 30 minutes.

**_Chapter song: I Learned From You - Hannah Montana ft. Billy Ray Cyrus._**


	3. You Know I Will

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_We're through. We're through. We're through. We're through. We're through. We're through._

The words pound in my skull. Echoing on and on. Despite the Christmas decorations that surround me, I don't feel merry or bright. Christmas Eve morning, and I couldn't care less. If it weren't for the fear of ruining everyone else's holiday, I'd probably just lay on the couch all day.

"Hey, Little Bit." Logan comes in with a cup of coffee. I just pull the blanket up and turn my face down to the pillow.

"Alright then." He tassels my hair, taking a seat on the recliner and fiddling with Netflix.

"Hey! Lookie! It's Little Bit!" The voice that happily fills the room makes me wanna sit up, but I don't. The lanky, pale boy sits on the coffee table in front of me. But, I don't bother to open my eyes.

"Logan told me how you're being antisocial, but come on. It's Christmas. You loooove Christmas."

"LB. Come on. There's coco to make and treats to bake. Songs to sing." He pokes at my upper arm playfully. My eyes shift to James. He was sitting up, must've just woke up too because his eyes are still squinted.

"I wouldn't bother. She's not had a chance to wake up." Logan remarks. They both wait for me to do something. I sit up, but don't say anything. I get off the couch, and go down the hall to get in Logan's bed.

"Alright. I tried." Kendall says. I shut the world out as much as possible. Not that I'm mad or anything, I just don't feel like entertaining . And, I really don't want to hear about what people think I should do about my baby. I had only told James and Logan. I didn't realize that my hands were clutched until a slight pain is radiating from my palms. I release my grasp. And, somewhere among my overflowing thoughts, slept took me away.

* * *

"Are you gonna pout forever or what?" My brother flops down on the bed beside me some hours later. My eyes shoot open then shut just as hard.

"What?" I moan.

"I asked if you were gonna lay around and pout forever or what?" I narrow my eyes at him and pull the cover over my head. He knows I can still hear him, so he continues on.

"It's okay to be hurt. I mean, you two were together for just under 3 years. He meant a lot to you, but if he broke up with you over a baby now; what would've stopped Cyrus from doing it later on? You gotta get up, and snap out of it. You're giving him the satisfaction of him having control over you. I know you well enough to know you're not that type of girl, Sawyer. Now, I got guests, but I wanted to make sure you were okay and to see if you wanted to join us." I remain still. The exasperated sigh that I've been hearing all too frequently lately sounds off again as he exits.

Does Cyrus have control over me like this? Am I moping because of him? I don't deserve to like this, I deserve to be happy. He's the one who left me, he's the one who should be crying. Not me. Logan's right, though I'll never tell him. I take a big gulp, pushing the covers off of me. The journey it takes to get to the living room is rather difficult for me, seeing as I've not ate in a day and I am so frightened. I come into the room, and stand against the wall behind the couch. It's James, in the recliner, that notices I come in. He greets me with a smile, not one to make it obvious to the others, but just for to see that he is glad I am out of bed.

I make my way over and sit on the lonesome love seat. The boys are playing an Xbox game, so I watch. Before long, Maslow is coming over to join me. He supplies the conversation, I mostly listen, but I slowly feel like I could be okay. Maybe get back to normal. I feel like I could be me again. Not now, but soon.

"Beat ya!" Logan whoops, followed by the boys tossing their controllers and groaning.

"Little excited, isn't he?" James asks me, shooting an eyebrow up.

"I don't think so." He causes a smile to spread on my lips. I feel eyes fall on us, so I look away from James. What must they think? I am not one to let other's opinions of me effect how I think of myself. Though, I know that James is only trying to comfort me, because we're good friends, but it feels as if the guys won't see it that way. I may be just paranoid though.

"So, what's everyone up to today?" I ask.

"Logan invited us over. We were gonna spend some time over here then go home."

"Anyone hungry?" Logan tries to get a conversation going.

"If I was, I wouldn't eat anything you cooked. We wanna make it to Christmas!" Kendall gets the room in an uproar of laughter. Life is pretty alright for a while, we all talk, laugh, and I can feel some weight being lifted from my shoulders and heart. I guess, even though I couldn't stand my brother most times, he really knows me better than I know myself.

After shedding the victim feeling, I feel relieved. Even finding the nerve the take on Carlos in fighting over the remote. As I try to reach for it, he holds it higher. In the end, it doesn't matter; all that is on is Christmas specials. We allow the TV to play in the background while indulging in a few board games. After Kendall and Logan feel the need to complain about being hungry for 30 minutes; they get up and make everyone salads. After that, we're back to watching Netflix and eating gingerbread.

Logan's phone starts to ring with Mom's ringtone. That means that Logan and I have to head over to our parent's within the next few minutes. All we need is to change to a pair of PJs and we're set.

"I think that's a wrap on our party." Kendall stretches his legs.

"Yeah. Alexa's probably done shopping by now." Carlos glances at his watch.

All around the room goodbyes are exchanged as people gather their belongings and disperse to the vehicles.

"Sawyer. Come on. Let's get a move on. Mom's already called three times. I'm going out to the car."

"I'm coming." I bound out of my room and to the car in two minutes. He puts the car in gear, pulling out of his driveway while I text Mom that we are on our way. Lo's iPod is already playing some MKTO.

"How do I tell them?"

"Hmm?" He glances over, seeing that I am looking at my stomach with a hand lightly against it.

"I think I'll wait until after the holiday. Don't wanna start any drama. I just want to have a good time. Not think about Cyrus. Just be happy."

"I think that's best too. But, you know, you're gonna have to tell them eventually. You're gonna need Mama's help."

"I know." I reach over to turn the music up, signalling that I am done talking about it. My stomach begins to turn knots again. Though Logan explains that they will not magically know that I with child. Regardless, I am scared that somehow I would start to 'show' or something.

"Wait! Am I showing?!" I frantically press my shirt against my abdomen, examining the affected area.

"What are you talking about?"

"Am I fat?! Do I look like it?!"

"You need to stop." He laughs, gripping the steering wheel for support. But, I don't find much humor in this. I suck in as much as I could. After finally deciding that I couldn't keep up that facade all night, I zip my jacket up just in case I might appear puffy. Have to be safe, right?

My phone pings with a text.

_**Mazzy:**_ How's it going?

I unlock my screen and type out a quick reply.

_**Me:** _Not there yet. Fill you in later.

_**Mazzy:**_ Alright.

My hands twitch nervously in my lap for the rest of the trip. And, it only gets worse as we leave the car and proceed to the door.

"Logan! Sawyer!" Our youngest sister, Presley, greets us on the porch with a welcoming hug. Squeezing us tightly together.

"Oh! Heey." I pat her back, and Logan squeezes her in a hug too. We release our hug and quickly go into the warm house. Then our parents hug and greet us too. Gingerbread and coffee scents fill the house, and I can't decide if it is sickening or if I want to indulge. For safety sake, I just tell Mama that I already ate and will have some in the morning. I sit next to Daddy, while Logan sits with Mom and Pres. I admire the beautifully packaged presents, Logan and I brought ours a few days ago so we wouldn't have to lug them around, and they fit with the many that our parents have there.

Sleepily, I lay my head on Daddy's shoulder, but I keep my hands folded across my chest. With the nice environment, warm atmosphere, and eyes already closing; I allow myself to succumb to sleep. In these last moments of consciousness, I couldn't feel any safer anywhere else in the world.

Unfortunately, like earlier, all good things come to an end. Shortly after my slip into blackness, the doorbell rings; startling me awake. I find that now I am now laying out of the couch with a blanket covering me, Presley and Mama watching TV, while Dad and Logan talk in the kitchen. I don't feel so well. My throat is slightly tight and my stomach too.

"Oh! Sounds like family is here!" My eager family rushes to open the door, opening the door. I pat around for my phone, but I can not find it. I check my bra, pockets, and couch cushions.

Oh My.

What if my parents found it? What if they saw my texts? Did they see? Do they know?

"Looking for this?" Logan tosses my phone to me as he walks by.

"Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Did anybody-?"

"No. Just a few messages from James."

"Okay." I nod. He proceeds to the door to greet our Aunt, Uncle, and little cousins. Before I do, I check in with James.

_**Mazzy:**_ I hope everything goes okay.

_**Mazzy:**_ Are you gonna tell them tonight?

I bite the inside of my cheek as I type my reply.

_**Me:**_ I don't think I'm gonna tell them tonight. I don't think they're ready.

"What are you not gonna tell us? Huh?" My bratty 12 year old cousin snatches my phone from my hand, waving it out of my reach. Fear and anger drench me as I rise too quickly, making my ailments worse.

"Give my phone back, please." I hold my hand out.

"Ouh. Who's Mazzy?"Her fingers flick to go through the messages and I jump over the couch to grab my phone, but she runs towards the group of people. I continue to reach for her, feeling worse and worse.

The family laughs, thinking that we're just playing around, but Logan's face read everything that I am feeling.

"Give it to me, Ella!" I demand, stopping in my tracks. She stops too, but the brat thinks she's such a smart person and reads my texts. Logan walks up behind her and takes it away from her.

"Hey!" She gets upset.

"It's not nice to take things that don't belong to you." He approaches me. I hear my heart beating in my ears, feel my hands shake, and acid burns my throat. I take my phone back and hold it securely to my chest.

"What's the big secret?! Hm?! What are you hiding from us?!" She purposely makes a scene.

"It's none of your business." Logan speaks for me, seeing that I'm having trouble using my words.

"So there is a secret!"

"It's none of your business."

The family is staring at this point. She won't drop it, continuously pestering and chomping at the bits like a Chihuahua.

"Dear, just tell her so she'll let it go." Mama gently suggests.

"Because, it's none of her business."

"You've got a secret!"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not worth whatever this is causing." Aunt Milly persists, but knowing her, she just wants to know too.

"It's none of any of your business, if I wanted you to know, I'd tell you."

"Sawyer! Apologize now." Mom and Dad scold in sync.

"I didn't do anything!"

"What's the big deal! What's the big secret!" I turn to Logan for help, but he looked like he is drowning between the two sides.

"Well, out with it." Uncle Bill acts as if he has control of the situation.

"Go ahead." Logan nods.

"Mom, Dad. Will you please come with me to the kitchen." Tears fill my eyes. Either from fear, anger, or anticipation. I walk ahead and they follow. I build my courage, and instead of waiting around, I just out with it.

"Cyrus broke up with me because I'm pregnant." I say before I even turn to face them.

"What?" Dad gasps.

"What do you mean?" Mom questions.

"I'm pregnant, Mom. I'm going to have a baby."

"Oh." She says. I turn around to face them. But, dad is gone.

"Oh? Is that all you've got to say? Oh?" My voice cracks.

"What do you want me to say? Congratulations? Oh, I'm so happy I have a teenage pregnant daughter, it's all I ever wanted? What do you expect? I don't know how to respond to it!"

"Merry Christmas, Mom." I walk away in to the living room, Dad is red faced and everyone else is blank. I slide my shoes and jacket on then leave, already dialing James's number.

"Hello?" His voice sounds thick with sleep.

"Will you please come pick me up?" I stand on my porch. Crisp, winter wind cutting through me. I hear a heated debate between the family starting.

"Of course. You know I will. Give me ten minutes."

"Thank you." Without asking a single question, he's on his way. I slide my phone back in my pocket.

"Grow up!" Logan opens the door, yelling back at the family. I look back and he shuts the door.

"Come back in." He look at me, as if I were to question him, he'd throw me over his shoulder.

"I'm going with James." He just shakes his head in disbelief.

"They are so hilariously stupid."

"I'm sorry I ruined Christmas. You were right." Hot tears burns down my cold cheeks.

"You didn't. It's not. We've just gotta tell them what happened. They'll understand."

"Maybe."

"Just give it time." He tries to pep talk to me until James gets here.

"Love you, Logan. Merry Christmas." James stops in front of the house. I hug my brother and run to James in the waiting car.

"Merry Christmas, Little Bit. I'll call you in the morning."

"Alright." I wave and get into the car. After strapping my seat belt on, I sit back, laying my head on the headrest. I feel the car start to go in motion. I slightly crack the window since the heat blowing on me was making me feel sick.

"So, it didn't go well?"

"Nope."

"I'm sorry. I am."

"Don't be. I don't need them. I don't need anyone."

"Except me. You always need me to assist you." I actually smile, and look over at him.

"Yes, I need you. You're my best friend."

_**Chapter Song: You Know I Will - Lucas Grabeel.**_


	4. Human

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

"Yes, I need you. You're my best friend."

"Oh. Is that so?" I don't even have to look at him to see the crooked smile. Despite how my blood relatives make me feel, he is making it better. I can't just forget about it, but close enough. He's great like that. Here, I entered the car broken and mad, within seconds he has me grinning.

"Shut up." I fidget with my fingers to distract me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He prompts.

"I can't say that I was shocked. I knew this would happen. I wish it hadn't. They called the baby 'It'. My own mother did. My dad couldn't look at me. And, Logan started yelling and then I called you. I ruined Christmas. But, they over-reacted! I didn't want to tell them tonight, but my annoying little cousin took my phone and read our texts. So, I had to explain."

"I see."

"She's such a snitch. I never liked her. I'm so mad that I literally feel sick at my stomach. I could just punch her brace face."

"I think that would hurt you worse than it would hurt her."

"I'd would take the pain. I'd save her family the money of having to remove those wires. I'd rip them and her teeth out."

"She sounds wicked. Also, remind me to never make you mad." James tips his head to the side, as if making a mental note.

"Cyrus still hasn't even contacted me. I'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend left me, my family disowned me; over a baby. A baby! They're not all that bad. It's just - JUST A BABY. They're small and cute. Sure they smell and cry, but everyone says it's worth it. It's not like I've even said anything about keeping him or her. I'm just pregnant. This didn't have to be this way though," I lean my head back, "Maybe, Cyrus was right. Maybe, I can not do this. Perhaps an abortion would be best for everyone."

James slams the brake pedal to the floor, throwing us both forward.

"Are you serious?" He looks at me shocked and I look at him embarrassed.

"I-." Stuttering is all that I can manage.

"Since when is listening to Cyrus a good idea?! He's a moron; a weak, little boy who is too scared to be a man. And, you're gonna choose to kill someone innocent because a few people had a bad reaction? Sawyer, please, tell me you're not serious."

"I was just mad. It just came out. I didn't mean it."

"You don't need to listen to anybody. The only thing you need to listen to is you."

"I'm not sure even what I'm supposed to do."

"You always do what's right."

"I'm only human. I get weak, I cry, and I lose myself. I'm wrong sometimes. Obviously. I feel like I'm just drowning and losing myself."

"The best part of losing yourself is finding out how much better you can be."

"I let everyone down. It's horrible feeling. I don't recommend it. I just wish there was an 'Easy' button. I could have Cyrus back and the holiday wouldn't be mush."

"You've not let me down. Lighten up. But, here's one thing. You don't need Cyrus. He's an idiot that didn't realize the opportunity that he had. You are a strong and independent young lady. You don't need anyone but yourself. You can do whatever your mind is set to." The car continues in motion. I bite the inside of my cheek as I wish I could be the person he thinks I am. I even like the way he described 'me'. He may just be trying to make me feel better.

"I'm sure that you've passed my house long ago."

"I'm not taking you home."

"What? Why not? Where are we going?"

"My house. I'm not gonna make you spend Christmas alone. Sleeping in the same house two nights in a row. What will they think?" James nudges my arm with his elbow.

"Oh, the scandal." I roll my eyes playfully.

"Yes. We will be all over the tabloids. Barbra Walters will want an exclusive. TMZ will have cameras everywhere."

"You need help. And, you don't even celebrate Christmas. You're Jewish." I shove his arm. It's just so frustrating that I'm in a bad mood, but he's just cracking jokes and making me feel like everything thats happened to me isn't important.

It's not like I'm diseased or something, it's just a baby. It can't be that bad right? Lots of people have babies, every day. Just because I am young, and now single, is there something wrong with me or my baby? Will I be able to do this? What if it's for the best that I find someone who needs a baby, someone who can't have one.

"Are you coming in?" James asks before opening his door.

"Yeah." I get out of the car and walk up the path way, he's unlocking the front door. James begins to sweet talk Fox, who is excited to see his dad home. A warm breeze whips against me as I step in the slightly messy house. It's now my turn for Fox to jump at my knees and spin around. I crouch down petting him.

"Are you tired?"

I slip my jacket off, hanging it up. "Kind of. And, hey. I'm sorry. For waking you up. I just needed to get out of there."

"No need for that. I'm glad that I could help." His eyes are screaming for sleep.

"I think I'll sleep here," I pat the couch, "You need to get to bed."

"You sure? I can stay down here with you."

"No. It's alright."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, James. Go to sleep."

"Yes, Theophilia." He rolls his eyes and smiles.

"Ugh, David. Get before I call you something worse than your middle name."As he ascends the stairs, I take a seat on the couch. I lay down and curl up.

I have to conscientiously keep my hands off my belly area. I don't want to get too attached if I'm gonna have to give her or him away. Every time I say or think that, this terrible feeling overwhelms my stomach. Pain and sickness. Like the tiny forming human in me knows what I'm saying, and then I feel guilty. My fingers twirl briefly in my hair before my thoughts take me away to sleep.

_**/Next Morning/**_

After a dream that I can't quite remember, I'm left awake; so I stretch and lay out. Magically, I now have a blanket. Thanks, James. But I don't believe he's awake yet, so I remain still.

In the silence, my mind reels back to my family and Cyrus; wondering if they even miss me. My phone doesn't have any missed calls or unseen texts, so I set it back down.

"Hey, Fox." The little Alaskan Klee Klai jumps up on the couch and lays next to my chest. I scratch behind his ears.

"You don't hate me do you?" His tail wag lifted my spirits.

"Thanks, Boy." He lays still next to me as I pet his head. I listen to music through my ear buds from my phone and play Temple Run.

I look down at my belly. Not to see a bump or anything, but to think that underneath there, I am growing a baby. A tiny person's whole being is based on me. Everything that I do directly affects the small creation under my skin.

An hour or so passes, I drift back to sleep shortly, but awake when Fox barks in his sleep. Then, I browse Pinterest. I'd get up, but that involves moving and using energy. I really need to pee though, so I move around Fox to stand on the cool wood floor. I sway down the hall to Hold It Against Me (Britney Spears) as I walk down the hall. I push the bathroom door open, to be greeted by steam brushing my face, and when the mist dies down, James is standing in his towel.

"Sorry." I bite my lip and shut the door.

"Holy Cannoli." I whisper to myself. I pull my earbuds out. They fall to the floor with a clink.

Dear Lord.

I shake my head and go down stairs; going to the kitchen for a drink. I'd kill to have coffee.

I grab a water bottle from the fridge and take a lasting gulp.

"Morning, Sawyer." James appears behind me. Now, wearing just some jeans, his hair still damp, and when he reaches by me for a cup, heat radiated from his skin. He fills the cup with water then places it in the microwave.

"Good morning."

"And, Merry Christmas."

"I'd tell you the same, but you don't celebrate Christmas." He laughs as he removes the cup from its heating facility and places it on the counter, then puts in a tea bag.

"Thank you. It would have meant a lot."

My eyes try to stay away from his body, but they can't, so I pretend to look out the window.

"How'd you sleep?" He asks.

"Just fine. You?"

"Same." The aroma of the green tea is filling the air. It isn't really pleasing, but I am not gonna hurl. After relocating to the living room; we eat Cheerios, watch the Disney parade, and play on our phones.

"Can I ask you something and it not be weird?" He asks.

"I guess."

"Do you think that you're more than 4 weeks?"

"You mean p-. Pregnant?"

"Yes."

"I think so."

"Well," He smiles, "Your baby has a heartbeat."

Is he really reading up about pregnancy? How awkwardly sweet. A good best friend, right?

We are both disturbed when there is a knock at the door. He sets his cup down and gets up. Then, a relaxed sigh is heard.

"Just your brother."

I smile and get up. I see him. He walks in and we catch each other in a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Little Bit."

"Merry Christmas, Logan."

_**Chapter Song: Human by Christina Perri**_


	5. Goodbye

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

Days come and go. Slow and dreary, but life goes on. It's a lesson that needs to be taught early in life. Life keeps going whether you're ready or not. Some people can take it; some can not. For those of us who wake up every day, get out of bed, and put a smile on our faces; congratulations. You have done it. You have made it. Like me, you've found reason to continue on. Whether or not you're sure of that reason is unclear, but there is one there.

Morning sickness has set in but not terribly. I usually just hate strong smells, the only food I can stomach lately is Cheerios.

Today is the day, for the first time since finding out that I'm expecting, that I return to work. It's December 27th, and it sucks for two reasons. I don't feel like going today and I will most likely be seeing Cyrus. We don't work in the same store, I work in Victoria's Secret actually, they're 2 stores away from each other. I could 'accidentally' see him, but do I want to? Will it hurt too much? What if he sees me and were to apologize for what he said?

Don't even go there. If I go down that road, I will only be disappointed.

I glance at my wrist watch; 15 minutes until work begins. Songs play to me through ear buds from my phone, trying to pep me for the long day that lay before me. As I walk, I also try to prepare myself for passing his store. Should I look in or just walk by? My heart actually pounds because of all the nervous, undecided energy.

Here we go. I stand in front of the store, looking in the glass, pretending to ruffle my hair in the reflection. In reality, I am looking for him.

There. There he is. I smile a little. He is laughing with a male co-worker, he has a great smile. Cy and Eric are hanging new shirts out and making it look like more fun than Disney World. To run in and hug him would be absolutely amazing, like I used to. I shuffle my foot towards the entrance then stop.

No. Don't do this. Do not make a fool out of yourself.

When he looks my direction, I freeze. His smile dwindles off his face, eyes dart down quickly and back up to mine, then turns away. My soul, stomach, and heart drop simultaneously.

Like, I told myself; don't expect anything.

"Sawyer!" There's Bexley, she's my co-worker. In her hand, some pizza from the food court; it usually is our favorite, but I really don't want to smell the greasy, hot pepperoni.

"Come on. I need to clock in." I motion her to follow, but I walk a few feet ahead of her, so as to not smell the food. We quickly greet and jump into conversation as we walk to back of the store so that I can clock in.

"So, rumor has it," Bex gives a nervous giggle and my breathing stops,"You and Cyrus broke up? Eric said that he got a call from Cyrus, saying that he wanted to go out and get drunk. Of course, he accepted, but he asked why. He told Eric that the only cure for a broken heart is vodka and loud music. I didn't wanna ask you in case it wasn't about you and if it was; I didn't wanna rub it in. So, tell me, Sweetheart." She isn't one to carry gossip, that is what bothers me so much about this conversation. What did he say that would have my sweet Bexley spreading the word?

"Yeah. It's true."

"Oh! No! No, no! Are you alright? Oh, why didn't you call me? What happened?"

"We had a fight."

"Over what?"

"I'm not ready to talk about it."

"Oh, of course. Whenever you're ready, I'm here."

"Thank you." I fake a smile. She nods and walks over to help a customer.

When will I be ready? Will I ever be ready to tell ... well... anyone? I know that I can't hide him or her for long, but why should I hide? It will only get worse. I will be more ridiculed.

What do I do? What do I do? I'll wait until after the new year. I can prepare mentally and emotionally.

Work drags. I keep my eyes mostly glued to the entrance, hoping to see him. I get to, twice, but my heart breaks a little more each time. Bex gives me condoling looks, sweet words, and warm hugs, but it's not the looks, words, and hugs that I want. I want him. I want him to want me. I want him to want our baby. He doesn't even have to do that, I could just have the baby and then we find a family for her or him.

"Sawyer, are you crying?" I jump to wipe my face. Her gaze follows mine to the small group of people cutting up and causing ruckus in the bench area. It's the central hangout area for workers on break. Cyrus and his friends are being overly loud and rowdy, almost seems to be purposefully catch my attention.

It does hurt to see that he's okay, but he did tell Eric that he was heartbroken. It is his own fault though. He is the one who walked away from me. Maybe, it could be my fault. I didn't stop him. Should I have said something? Was bringing his step dad up the wrong approach? I could have been more sensitive. If that subject could have been avoided, perhaps we might still be together. I screwed it up. I don't even know what gender our baby is and I've already screwed up as being a mom. I can't believe I've already messed up someone's life, someone who isn't even born.

What if I try to talk to him? His mind might change still yet. I might apologize for what I said and he could too, then we could discuss what to do. We may even get to keep the baby together. That would be great. I can help him understand that just because he grew up with a bad replacement dad doesn't mean that he will be one. Cyrus would probably be an amazing father; he is so great with his little half-sister.

"Bex? Can I take my break early?"

"Sure thing."

"I'll be back shortly." I set the box of hangers down and walk towards the roaring gathering. We all are friends, so just act natural. I have a right to hang with them too.

"Hey." I sheepishly bud in. A few high fives are slapped and even Alysia hugs me from behind. Unfortunately, their greetings don't mean a thing without his, but I can be the bigger person.

"Hey, Cy."

He acknowledges me with a nod, without looking away from his phone.

"Can we talk privately?" I ask and can tell he really doesn't want to.

"Let's go grab something to eat." He stretches after standing up and starts walking. That used to be our code for sneaking off to make out, but as we walk a few feet a apart, I doubt he even wants to breath the same air as me. The tension between us is like a flashing neon sign.

"What do you wanna talk about?" He leans against the wall after we're out of sight.

"Us. We're not really over are we?"

"Did you take care of the problem?"

"What problem?"

"Don't play dumb with me."

"I haven't got an abortion, no."

"There's no 'us', with 'that'."

"I've thought about what we can do. We could find a family that needs a baby, Cyrus." He turns his head away, but I use my hand to softly turn him back to me.

"I can't be with you if you keep it alive."

"We don't have to keep the baby. We'll give him or her the best chance."

"You don't understand. I don't have anywhere else to live, if my parents find out, I'm toast. I will be dead. They have two rules for me. Don't be out late and don't get anyone pregnant. They've made it very clear that they will kick me out at either of those points."

"So, when they see me pregnant, what are you going to tell them? What are you going to tell all your friends?"

"I was hoping that you would eliminate it before that."

"Please. You won't be like him. You can do so much better. If not for this one, if we decide that it's best for him or her to be with someone else, then for the next one we could have." His blue eyes swarm with dark colors and I keep him looking at me. "Don't make me do something that I feel is wrong. I love you. So, so much. Just give us another chance."

"By 'us', do you mean 'me and you'? I won't be with you if you don't get rid of it now."

"Please, Cyrus. I'm begging you. I don't want to kill our baby. I won't." He wraps his fingers around my wrist, pulling my hand from his face.

"Then, I don't want to be with you."

"No. No. Don't do this." He drops my hand and stands up right. I take in his blue eyes and touch his blonde hair, feeling as if it will be the last time. He looks at me the same.

"Do the right thing and we can be together."

"I am doing the right thing."

He sighs, standing straight.

"Goodbye, Sawyer." His hands slide down my arms.

For the second time, I watch him walk away from me. For the second time, my heart breaks, but for the first time I don't cry.

_Goodbye._

I don't see him for the rest of the day, I don't want to. I just want to go home and go to bed. Logan won't be home; I'll be by myself.

I turn the key and push the door open. Climbing the stairs is more work than I want to exert. I think it may be due to having to face all of the 'Cyrus and Sawyer' memorabilia in my room.

I pull up the 'Cyrus' playlist on my phone, I'll only listen to it one last time. The empty shoe box finally has a purpose, I begin to remove the pictures of us from the wall, taking time to examine each one.

_The fair, our first summer together._

_Our friend's birthday beach trip._

_A couple of just our hands holding or just us kissing._

_Christmas._

_Halloween._

_Logan and him wrestling in Mom's yard._

_Picnics._

_Cuddling on the couch._

I touch my lips with my fingertips; I can still feel his kiss there. The final picture I have in my hands is one of just us sitting on the beach, side by side, holding hands. My head lay on his shoulder, his head on mine.

"I'm so sorry, Little One. I can't do this on my own," I hold the picture to my chest and tears stream down my face, "I have to find you a family. I'm so sorry. I won't be able to give you everything you will need, but I will give you chance to get it. I promise."

I slide the picture down to my abdomen.

"I will my best to give you the best that I can." My body curls into a ball over my bed.

"I'm sorry." I repeatedly chant.

_**Chapter Song: Good-Bye - Miley Cyrus. (Obviously not the whole song. Just the first two verses. Unfortunately, Cyrus has not yet decided that he made a mistake and wants to apologize.)**_

_**P.S.: I thought that since I listened to Torn by Miley Cyrus a few times while writing this, I'd include it in this part.**_


	6. I Wish I Could Break Your Heart

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

All the pictures are off the wall, the stuffed animals are in a box down the hall, but still his presence is here. Lingering in my mind and under my skin. I'm just going to have to get used to that. I'm now sitting on the floor with my back pressed against the foot board. Demons pound my head and guilt pumps in my heart like the blood. The longer I sit, the more anger consumes my soul. Song lyrics of disappointment, rage, and revenge race in my mind. My hand slip into my hair and pulls slightly.

Why can't he just understand? I love him, but I do not have to same belief that he does about our situation. I gave a very acceptable solution, all he had to do was accept it. So what if his parents kicked him out? He could live with me and my brother until we could get our own place.

But, maybe, that's just it. Maybe having this baby together would forever tether him to me, and maybe he didn't want to just tied down just yet. That's fully understandable.

This is all his fault though!

I'm not the one who should be like this. He's the one who should be in pain and angry. I need to be the one who is laughing and having a good time. I'll show him tomorrow. He'll see.

I clutch the pillow to my chest; fingertips turning white from the pressure. I wish I could hurt him the way he hurt me. If only I could make him feel the way I do. I never want to hurt him, but just to make him go through what I am.

No. He'll see tonight. I don't need him and I'll show him.

I'll send a text to Erica, she'll spread the word.

**_Me:_** Girls night? And, boys night? Let's get together and go out. Send to everyone you want to come! The beach, by our pier, in an hour?

**_Erica:_** U got it gurl! C u there!

**_Me:_** See ya!

This is the night, tonight, I will unleash the part of me that nobody ever gets to see. I go to my dresser; striped top, white shorts, black chucks. Perfect. Hair; partial.

As I go to grab my purse and to the front door, it opens.

"Logan." I step back.

"Oh, sorry. You going somewhere?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Uh, yes. Out with a few friends. See you later."

"Okay. Hey." He calls my attention back.

"Yes?" I step out the door and turn back around.

"Don't do anything stupid. You could get pregnant or something out there." I hit with my purse before he can defend himself, then I run and hop in the car. I used only 30 minutes getting ready, so I have all the time I need to get there, but I rush anyways.

A few people are already here, building a fire, and music booming from a stereo. So far a great turn out, 7+ people. My eyes squint to see Jesse, Chad, Arielle, Thomas, Lara, Liam, Claire, Erica and Eric (Twins!), and uh. Who's that on the the other side of the fire? A couple apparently. Sitting right with each other. A closer look would help. I step forward.

What?

It can not be.

No way.

I gather my strength and close in on the group. With a smile, I bounce over to the beat of the song.

_That little slut._

There sits Cyrus with another girl, his hand gently tracing up and down her arm, and she is not even paying attention to him. She's too busy running her mouth to the group of girls by her, who all have bottled beverages. It doesn't matter, he's talking to the herd of boys on his side of the chair.

The music needs to be louder. I nod at Liam to do as so. People start to come alive. But, I simply could not be without a date.

_**Me:**_ You busy?

**_Mazzy:_** Not at all.

_**Me:**_ Great. Wanna join a party on the beach? I kinda need your assistance.

_**Mazzy:**_ Yes?

**_Me: _**Cyrus brought another girl to this party thing, and I'm sitting here alone. Looking like an idiot.

**_Mazzy: _**I'm sure you don't look like an idiot. Unless you're making a fool of yourseld.

_**Mazzy: **_Are you?

_**Me: **_No. Do you wanna come or not?

_**Mazzy: **_Yes. I'll be there.

_**Me: **_Thank you. When you get here, we're by the pier.

I grab Alysia's hand and twirl around playing to the music. Erica joins us.

Our playlist includes:

_1) The Other Side - Jason Derulo_

_2) Classic - MKTO_

_3) Bad Romance - Lady Gaga_

_4) Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson_

_5) Monster - Lady Gaga_

_6) C'mon - Ke$ha._

True to his word, he is here; just like the amazing friend he is.

He comes up behind me, grabbing my hand, spinning me around.

"C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" We sing at each other. Putting all the group, that is participating, you might think that there is an actual rave going on. Occasionally, I will look to see if Cyrus is watching, and he is. With a glare that would scare me any other time but not now.

James is perfect though. We dance, laugh, and make fools out ourselves. Other girls make fools out of themselves by flirting with James. Eventually, I have to take a break. We sit off aside from the group, on the swings with James pushing me.

"She's not even that pretty." James remarks.

"Right? I look so much better than her."

"Oh. Like, 10 million trillion times better than her." We laugh.

"Hey. I'm gonna get my water bottle the car, let me go get it." He leaves me there. The crashing waves, the warmth of the fire, and the bass of the music just seem to make everything else drift away. I thought he had returned when someone is standing slightly behind me.

"What? Not afraid that you might 'show' in your skimpy outfit?" He jerks me by the arm and turns me around.

"Afraid people will find out that you're a no count slob?" I place my hand over my mouth, feigning shock on my face. He just laughs and releases me.

"You're the one who will branded a slut."

"And, you're gonna be the one who will be looked at as the disappointment. The one who left me for not wanting to kill a baby. Pick your poison." I hiss.

"Well, look who got a backbone. Your little boyfriend know you're pregnant? Or does he think it's his? Because, that could be plaus-."

"Excuse me. Is there something going on over here?" James returns shoving his phone in his back pocket.

"None of your business." Cyrus snarly replies.

"This girl is all of my business." James places an arm around my shoulders.

"I get it now! You're going to have him claim the baby as his so that people won't look at you so harshly. Well, I mean, that would pose you as having cheated on me."

"You're pathetic. A tiny boy with a tiny -."

"You're psychotic." Cyrus looks at me as if I'm just filth.

"You are completely correct. I do not disagree. There is no other explanation for why I dated you." I snark. James and I slap high fives as Cyrus shakes his head and walks away.

"Thank you for that." I say to James.

"What can I say? No one messes with my girl."

"Thank you."

"You know I will always have your back."

"And, I always will have yours." I half smile.

"We just told off your ex, and you look like your foot got ran over." He places a single hand on my shoulder. I shrug.

"I just thought that this would make me feel better, but it hasn't."

"You thought trying to show him up would make you feel better? Sawyer, that's nonsense. The best revenge you can get on someone is to forget about them. And, one more thing, if you get the chance to hurt someone that hurt you, and you take it, you're not really over them."

"How am I supposed to get over him! I'm gonna have his baby!"

First, his eyes shoot wide, then mine do as I realize what I've done.

Gasp after gasp fills the chilled night air. Sadly though, I do not feel the chill because my face is burning red. What have I done? Did I just really just do that? James sees the panic in my eyes.

_"You've got to be kidding me."_

_"No way! Of all people, her?_

_"I did not see that coming."_

_"That's so shocking."_ The crowd murmurs.

"Well, obviously. That's why I broke up with her. She cheated on me." Cyrus inserts. Another gasp from the crowd. Both my and James' jaws dropped.

"You liar!" I yell and approach him.

"Who's the one who kept it a secret?"

"I found out the same day as you! Don't you dare stand there and deny that this baby isn't yours! This is why you broke up with me!"

"I'm not gonna do anything. I'm gonna leave you deal with the mess you've stepped into." He shrugs and walks away, leaving all eyes on me. My breathing begins to shallow and my hands tremble.

_"Wow. Is she gonna hurl?"_

_"Better step back."_

Firelight reflective eyes all point at me.

"Let's go." James takes my hand, dragging me along. An uproar of conversation around the fire begins. I get to the car and lean forward on it, not even caring that it sounds like a beehive where I left.

"Well, I guess that's that." I come out of my shock-like state.

"I guess it is. You told Cyrus off and told your friends all in one sitting. Or, well, standing. Whatever."

"They think I'm a whore. Cyrus told them I cheated."

"But, they also heard what you had to say. So, they might not believe him."

"They will though."

"You'll see; everything will be alright." He promises.

"Just let me go home, please." I get into my car and go.

**_Chapter Song: I Wish I Could Break Your Heart - Cassadee Pope_**


	7. Don't Laugh At Me

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

"And, then I just blurted it out! Right in front of everyone. We are so officially over. I hope to never see that creep ever again. I'm gonna have such a better life without him. I will be free. I'll see other guys. I won't be tamed." I stand in Logan's kitchen, ranting about my night as I eat on an apple.

"Sounds like you should have broke up with him a lot sooner. Well, sooner than he could have got you pregnant. How do you plan to be free and tame-less with a baby?"

"I actually was thinking about finding the baby a family."

"Like?"

"Yeah. I don't think that I properly give the care he or she needs. Plenty of couples want a baby but can not have one. It will be the best chance. With two parents." Suddenly my apple doesn't seem appetizing.

"That seems very honorable of you. Very considering."

"I guess." Here comes that tight feeling in my stomach again. The one associated with talking about giving him/her away. I hope that goes away.

"What if it's twins?" He points his ice cream spoon at me.

"Don't even joke about that." I slap my palm to my forehead, then take his spoon and dip it in his frozen treat.

"Uh, excuse you."

"I'm with child. I need nourishment."

"Oooohhh. Then get a banana or peach or some grapes."

"I want your ice cream though." I smile and take another bite.

"First to get a brain freeze wins?" He raises an eyebrow to interest me.

"Not tonight. I kinda need to prepare for work tomorrow. It's not going to be pleasurable." I toss the apple core in the trash and the spoon in the sink.

"You don't have to go in. Why not take the day off?"

"And, have people talking about me behind my back? To let Cyrus have another day to spin a web of lies? I don't think so. I am so gonna own this. Plus, my friends will have my back. I can count on them."

"Well, in order to prepare for tomorrow, I say that we should watch Zac Efron movies until we can't handle any more and gorge on M&amp;M, Sweetarts, and Strawberry-Kiwi Snapple."

"Sounds great." While Logan and I have our bad spots, we really know each other better than anyone else. I hug him from behind then go off to gather my hair curlers and Zefron movies. He comes into my room with snacks.

"How did I know HSM would be first?"

"Because, we need to duet. We just need to let loose."

I take the Sweetarts.

"Of course. Of course."

Yes, we do enjoy our duets and even the second movie too, then we move to Hairspray. I get so distracted that it takes all three movies to get my curlers in. As the night passes, we tire and switch to Lord of the Rings. Making commentary scarcely, but there is something that has been on my mind.

"Hey, Logan."

"Hmm?" He is nearly asleep.

"Has mom or dad talked to you about me?"

"Yeah. Mom asked if you were okay."

"That it?"

"She asked if you were eating right and stuff." His body is desperately trying to shut down.

"Thanks. Go to bed. Get some sleep." I push at his shoulder and he groans until he's up and off the bed. He leaves and so does my consciousness.

_**/Next Morning/**_

Oh my-. Ugh. I've just sat up and feel nauseated.

"Uh." I hold my head. Not throwing up this morning would be great. Terrific, really.

"Logan." I call out.

"Logan."

"You awake?" I hold my stomach and get out of bed. On the bathroom door, there's a note. I pull it off.

"Went to the studio early today. See you tonight, Bug." Well, I guess that answers my question. I sit on the edge of the tub, waiting to grab the toilet bowl and yack. I don't know which I prefer, not throwing up and feeling nauseated or throwing up and getting it over with.

I moan and finally give up, having to get to work. Pants, shirt, hair, teeth, make-up, and shoes. The daily routine, but a bit slower seeing as I'm not supposed to have caffeine. No coffee. How does one go about life without coffee? Miserably, that's how.

You know the routine. Get in the car, turn the music on, get to work, avoid everyone. Today, that probably wouldn't be possible. In the bench area, a herd of shouting and excited teens and slightly older folks buzz.

_"Wow! Look! She's here!"_

_"How can she even show her face?"_

_"Make room! Big Mama coming through!" An uproar of laughter._

_"Is she really showing?"_

"Girls, quickly. Grab your guys. She may take them as her own." Cyrus mocks in the midst of them. I glare over at him.

"Well, at least they couldn't get her pregnant. Someone already did that!" Eric fist bumps Cyrus. How can he be so cruel? He is partially responsible for this baby too. It wasn't an immaculate conception.

"Oh, no! Someone! Call an ambulance! My water broke!" Claire pours her water bottle over into the plant, making another wave of hysterical laughter. I hold my upper arms and continue to walk.

_"What not gonna stand up for yourself?"_

_"Too chicken?"_

_"Emotions already getting the best of you?"_

"She can keep her mouth shut. That's not the problem."

If he makes one more smart comment, I probably won't be able to keep my tears in. I settle into the store, try to busy myself, but they are so loud. I wish opening time would come so they would get lost.

_"I wanna know who get her do that. She's always been so strict."_

_"Whoever it was apparently wasn't that smart. I mean, she did end up with a kid."_

_"She gonna end up with his paychecks!"_

"She most definitely is not." Cyrus inserts.

"Why do you say that?"

"Who knows if she even knows who the father is."

"Oh, Bro. I couldn't imagine being in your position. It must be so hard." Eric clasps his hand on the liar's shoulder.

_"How did she break it to you? What happened?"_

_"Were you upset?"_

"I never knew that I could hurt so badly. I was so good to her." A few girls sigh sympathetically. My eyes roll.

I make my way through work. James texts me on my break. Have to manage a few returns and frustrating coupon situations. Nothing interesting really happens worth mentioning. Well, that is until I am walking out. If I had been in a group, I would not have noticed him. The old man sitting on the sidewalk. He has a cough that suggests possibly it has been there too long and that the mucus has settled in his chest. Suggesting; bronchitis. The clothes on his back are awfully worn out, the tiny bit of hair he has is unkempt. I have seen him before, digging in the dumpsters.

I couldn't leave him there without helping him. This is the reason I decided to become a nurse, to help the helpless. A small family walks by him as if he isn't even there.

"Excuse me, Sir." I walk up and touch his shoulder. He jumps.

"I'm sorry. I was just resting my legs. I'm going."

"Oh. No. No. That's not what I was going to say." I smile to show I mean no harm.

"Well, then what can I do for you."

"I was gonna ask you to wait right here. Do you mind to sit right there until I return?"

"I don't understand."

"Don't leave until I get back. Wait for me. Promise?"

"Promise?" He questions, but I take it as a confirmation. I take off to my car and to the nearest drug store. I purchase a throw blanket, cough medicine, tissues, two new tee shirt, a pair of sweat pants, a pack of socks, gloves, assorted food items, a few sweet treats, a small package of bottled water, and then a backpack for it all to fit in. I'm pretty sure that the clerk thinks that I am running away.

I get to the car and repackage the items into the backpack. I drive back to where I left the homeless man. He sits there faithfully, probably scared out of his wits. If I were him, I would ditch if a crazy lady asked me to stay. After parking the car again, I approach him with the backpack. He looks me over.

"I didn't catch your name earlier." I stand a few feet away.

"Stanley Alacir."

"Hi, Stanley. I'm Sawyer."

"I still don't know what you want from me."

"I don't want anything from you. I just want to help you."

"Help me?" He asks. I extend the backpack towards him.

"Merry late Christmas." Stanley just looks at me.

"It's for you. Take it." I set it by him then step back again. He unzips the pack and may have started crying. His smile is what catches my attention, then through a hole in his shirt, dog tags fall out.

"Why?"

"No reason."

"You mean, you're not scared of me?"

"I don't see why I should be."

"Everyone else is. They laugh and make fun. I'm just a freak to them."

"Me too, Stan. We're not that different." I shove my hands in my back pocket.

"Are you an angel?"

"Far from it, I'm afraid."

"What other explanation is there?"

"We're both freaks. I'm a pregnant single woman, whose boyfriend and the baby's father told our entire friend network that I cheated on him so that he would have to be tied down. But, that's fine. He don't deserve me." I smile.

"I don't know how to repay you."

"I didn't ask you to. I'll see you around. It's been nice to meet you, Stanley."

"It has been a blessing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

"No problem. Good evening." I smile and turn away, feeling a sense of well-being.

_**Chapter Song: Don't Laugh At Me - Mark Wills**_


	8. Do It All Again

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

Two days pass. I try to block most everyone out. Succeeding a lot of the time. Everyone is excited the New Year parties that they are invited to or throwing. Logan is taking me go to Carlos' against my will. Something about how I need avoid becoming a recluse and that it will be good for me to see everyone; which probably will come down to me sitting in the corner with an iPod and_ A Walk To Remember_. Not that I am that much of an introvert, but I won't know anyone there; aside from James, Carlos, Kendall, and Alexa.

Jamie and Landon occupy mind right now. Rereading _A Walk To Remember_ and _The Notebook_ are monthly activities for me. Not that I'm waiting around for Noah or Landon, I know love does not happen like in the stories. It's quite clear. Though, the idea that so much love and devotion can be anchored to one person; no matter what they do or where they go, someone is still waiting to love them. Noah waited seven years. Landon never moved on. Could anyone ever love me like that? I'm not saying that it will, but also not saying that it won't. What is a girl without her hope?

I turn on my back.

Is there someone out there waiting and wondering what it's like to love me? What if my significant other is wondering where I am? Wait. What if I don't have a significant other? Will I be an old lady who only has her cats to keep her company?

"Are you getting dressed or what?" Logan knocks at my door, pulling me away from my thoughts. My eyes shift over to the door.

"Yes."

"Can you put a little pep in your step?"

"Sure thing."

"Bip bip bip." His fingers snap and I shut my book, getting up. Wearing leather jeans, floral print shirt, and converses; I grab my purse and trudge down the steps. Logan provides a mean look in my direction.

"Try to smile."

"I don't feel well."

"I'm sorry but this will make you feel better. You can dance and talk to people."

It's not even a depression thing; I don't feel sad or mad, just nauseated. Slightly irritated, but I can get over it. He's been looking forward to this; I do not what to ruin it.

Work life is feeling the way high school did, just trying to get through the day so that I can go home and forget. Bex is my only work friend, well the only one who still sees me as me. Erica still talks to me as well. Which is shocking because her twin brother is Cyrus's best friend. He's getting all the pitying attention. Thankfully, he no longer is a problem of mine. The only reason he occupies any space of my mind is because I have to carry around his abandoned child. At times, I find myself in a fit of anger, resenting the little one, then I break down because it's not his or her fault. Apparently, Logan told Mom about my decision. She actually called me, didn't have much to say though.

Carlos' house has cars lined in the driveway and down the street.

Joy.

Logan parks and we get out, then walk to the thumping house. I acquire Lo's hoodie and since the air is so crisp, it feels nice.

"We're gonna have fun, right?" Logan nudges me with his elbow.

"I'm gonna try."

"Yes. You will have an amazing time." The door is already open, so we walk in. People line and fill each room. He has no problem talking and locating his friends, but I meander farther.

"Sawyer! Oh there you are, Babe!" I look up to see Kendall approaching me, leaving the girl behind him with a scowl. The look on his face explains that he is getting hit on and needs an escape.

"Aye, Buu!" I throw my arms up around his neck to pull him close. A little warm kiss is planted on my cheek. We take a moment to exchange a silent 'Thank You' and 'You're Welcome'.

"So, Honey, how about that dance?" He pulls me by the hand, passing too many people until we find ourselves in the living room. Logan, James, and whoever Logan is dancing with are here too.

"Follow me." Kendall winks and hops up on the coffee table, but I lock my feet on the ground. Having no part of this, he reaches down, pulling me up by my arms.

_"Baby, when they look up at the sky, we'll be shooting stars just passing by."_

He spins me around. I smile.

_"You'll be coming home with me tonight. We'll be burning up like neon lights."_

He gives me a signal to spin on my own. I know there is no getting out of this. His eyebrow raises as he waits for me to complete his request. Instead of waiting, he hops to the beat. His hands wraps around either side of my waist, and I have to hop to keep up with him.

_\- "Let's escape into the music. DJ, let it play. I just can't refuse it. Love the way you do this. Keep on rockin to it. Please, don't stop the-. Please, don't stop the music."_

_\- "We've come too far to give up who we are. So, lets raise the bar and our cups to the stars."_

_\- "So, wake me up when it's all over. When I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost."_

_\- "I wanna thrill you like Michael! I wanna kiss you like Prince! Let's get it on like Marvin Gaye, like Hathaway!"_

_\- "So, you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby, do you dare to do this? 'Cause, I'm coming at you like a dark horse."_

_\- "I know don't about you, but I'm feeling 22. Every thing will be alright if you keep me next to you."_

_\- "Hey! I just met you and this is crazy! But, here's my number! So, call me maybe?!"_

_\- "And, we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign. I don't if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it."_

_\- "Every single night we fight to get a little high on life! To get a little something right, something real. At least we try time after time."_

_\- "I wanna rock with you, all night. Dance you into the sunlight."_

_\- "You have taken over my days, so tonight I'm going out."_

I let go.

Logan whoops at us and James joins us. This much attention has me blushing and we have too much fun to notice. I'm pretty sure that we wouldn't even notice if the house were to fall in around us.

The bass of the song is thumping everything, the speakers visibly vibrating; then you have Kendall, James, and I hopping on the coffee table, performing a mini concert. If you qualify screaming lyrics at each other a concert.

_"I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone. I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn! I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs. I crashed my car into the bridge. I don't care! I love it! I don't care!"_ Everyone is having a great time. James currently has my attention, spinning me around.

I can tell you what we do not love; the moment the coffee table breaks apart underneath us. I land on top of the two boys. Uncontrollable laughter is heard everywhere. The table in pieces around us. Choruses of laughter ring everywhere, even from me. Well, that is until my throat began to burn with acid.

Oh no. I try to push off the guys' chests, Alexa is reaching down to help us up; I take her arm and pull up to launch off to the bathroom. People. People everywhere. It's so packed, can't find my way.

A door opens, thankfully, to the bathroom. I make a mad dash, forcefully slamming the door shut. No need to account for the actions that happen behind the door, it's not pretty. In no way do I ever want to relive those 15 minutes.

"Sawyer?" The knock is barely heard.

"Yeah?" I stand by the sink and rinse out my mouth.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

"I brought you water." James peeks through the door. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Did you get hurt?"

"No. No. I'm fine. Did you?"

"No. Are you sure? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, James. I said that everything is fine."

"I just wanted to make sure."

"Thank you. Some fresh air might be what's needed." I run a hand through my hair, taking the water bottle. It's funny how just a while ago, I was jumping and dancing with everyone, but now just seeing them is making me feel ill. I exit the house, followed by James. We take a seat on the front steps.

"You looked pretty great in there, Thea." I smile and lay my head against his shoulder. He likes calling me that nickname derived from my middle name, Theophilia. The breeze sweeping around our bodies and cooling our sweat.

"Thanks, Jamie." He lays his head on mine. Slowly and comfortably, we breathe together. That's it. We just breathe. No words needed or wanted. The music flowing from every crevice and open space of the house is more than enough.

"No! I saw you! And, guess what?! It's over, Kendall!" Destiny bustles by me; I scoot over to avoid being trampled on. His traveling, punk rocker girlfriend stopped by town today.

"Destiny! Stop. Please." Kendall now darts past James and I.

"No!"

"I was blindfolded! It was a game!"

"You shouldn't have agreed to play!"

"I'm sorry, you're right." He pulls her arm to turn her around. She glares at him, but he just kisses her. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to play a game where I could potentially kiss someone else. It was stupid. I will never do that again. She wasn't even that good. I definitely enjoy kissing you more. Forgive me, Baby?" He pleads.

Her lips purse in a pout.

"Yes."

"Thank you." Kendall leans to kiss her again and she kisses back. The two lovers whisper apologies to each other briefly. James and I look at each other, trying to not laugh, to digest what just happened. He has moved over to rest his back against the handrail and motions for me to join. I lay my back against his shoulder. This should feel wrong, but it doesn't. There doesn't seem to be any harm or bad warning signals. He talks, but I don't pay much attention, too focused on his breathing chest against my back. Is it bad that I really just want to stay like this? Is he trying to just be a good friend or in his own trying to say he might want to be more? But, why would he? I'm really not 'there' for another relationship.

The house quiets down to start the countdown.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight!"

"Seven!"

"Six!"

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"ONE!"

James softly tilts my head back by placing his finger under my chin. It happens so swiftly. My neck rests on his shoulder as he places his lips on mine and I receive them with a pounding heart. My lips greet his softly as his graze mine.

_**Chapter Song: Do It All Again - Big Time Rush/ Emblem3 (It's a mix between both versions.)**_


	9. May I Have This Dance

/James POV/

I sit there dumbfounded for a second, heart still thumping out of control and actually making me quiver.

What just happened?

Just let it slip. Everyone wants to have a New Year's kiss.

"Happy New Year?" I innocently smile.

"Happy New Year."

My heart is pounding so loud that my ears hear it. I hope that she doesn't notice. Hopefully she'll think I was only goofing off. No need to get worked up about something that didn't mean anything.

With the calming down of the party due to people having to work tomorrow, the music slows down.

-_ "Early in the morning, I'm still in bed. She comes to me with sweet affection. Wakes me with kisses, 'Hello sleepyhead.' Gets me moving in the right direction. I do my best to give her love that lasts forever. Seems like everything I do, I'm doing better."_

"May I have this dance?" I smile a little more confidently than earlier. "Please?"

Her hazel eyes shift back and forth before answering. "Yeah. But, don't have any fancy ideas. I didn't dance with a professional on national television."

"I wasn't assuming anything. Just take it slow."

Yes. Slow.

There's no way that she can tell how nervous I am.

It'll be alright.

After we're on our feet, I take her hand to sway gently.

"Ouch."

"I'm sorry. Not ever very good, like I said. Is your foot okay?" She says with her face pressed against my arm; I can feel her smile.

"My foot is fine."

I'm supposed to twirl her now but just can't. Even when she steps on me again.

"I'm sorry. We should probably stop. You'll have bruises tomorrow." Her head leans back as she laughs.

"Maybe."

She nods in agreement but doesn't stop.

I wonder if she's still thinking about the kiss. Because, I am. Was that the stupidest thing I've ever done or what? It was enjoyable. Her lips are really soft. She looks a bit disheveled from the 'hardcore' dancing, but everything about her is beautiful.

How could someone be so cruel to her? The way Cyrus talked to Thea was horrible. Asking her to kill a baby? His child.

Sure, neither was ready for a baby, but to demand an abortion is ridiculous. Not even willing to consider adoption.

Here I am talking like I have a clue. If I were in the same situation with my girlfriend, what would I do?

If I were having a baby with Sawyer…

"Hey, James."

"Yeah?" I look down to her.

"The music has stopped."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." I release her. "Nothing. Thank you for the dance."

"Of course." She takes a step away then stops. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

She pulls her sleeves over her hands while acting nervous. "Why did you kiss me?"

Oh no. Here we go.

"I'm pregnant." She continues. "I'm not sure what you're intentions were."

"I'm sorry. I just thought-."

"Thought what?"

"That you looked beautiful." White hot heat singes over my body.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you without your permission. It was impulsive and we're just friends."

"No. No." Her face appears as if she's searching her brain for answers. "You think I'm beautiful?"

I nod, knowing that if I tried to talk it'd probably be something stupid.

"Do you have feelings for me? Like more-than-friends feelings?"

"You don't have to mock me."

She grabs my arm. "I wasn't. I was just trying to let you know that I'm not ready for ... that. I've still got the remnants of my last relationship hanging around in my belly. No one's going to want to be with me while I'm pregnant. I know that. I've already decided to find the baby a home. It makes me sound like a horrible person, I know, but there's so many wonderful people who want a baby that-."

"Would you listen at yourself?" I shake my head. "You sound ridiculous."

"Excuse me?"

"I've been trying to tell you that I think you're beautiful and that I care about you and you go into a rant. So what if you're pregnant? I knew before you. I told you. I'm sorry that Cyrus hurt you, but I'm not like him. You know that."

"Now you want to be with me?" She scoffs.

"You make it sound like I'm doing something bad. I just said that-."

"I know what you said."

My arms cross over my chest as I try to take in all this information. "I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable. And, I didn't just decide that I want to be with you. I've liked you for a very long time, but you've been with Cyrus."

"So you've been waiting for me to break up with my boyfriend so that you could sweep in."

"Of course not. But now that it's happened and you're hurt, I want to be here to comfort you."

"You wait for my boyfriend to break up with me, he does, you swoop in, and where does my pregnancy fit in your scenario?"

"Why are you being so angry? It's not like I proposed. I didn't even ask you out."

"Be honest! If your little plan worked and we got together, what would the pregnancy do to us?"

"I wouldn't care if you're pregnant or not. It's your body, do whatever you want with it. If we were to be together, while you're pregnant, I don't think it would affect the way I feel about you."

Her face contorts with confusion. "So, you're not bothered by me?"

"Have I ever been? Out of every time you've been hurt, been sad, or just needed somebody; who have you always turned to? You called me to buy you a pregnancy test, and I did it."

"I know." She licks her lips then rubs her hand over them. "I just don't understand. Why would someone like you wait for someone like me?"

"You're my best friend."

"Don't do that. Don't try to make me feel like some whirlwind romance novel." Her eyes roll back to try to not let tears fall. "My life is hard enough right now. I don't need added troubles. I'm going to have to let go of my first born to people who will never want me to see them ever again. You have no idea how hard this is going to be."

"I would be willing to help you with everything, if you just let me in."

"James." She falls in against my chest, feeling limp as a wet noodle.

Maybe I was too rough. She's in such a fragile state right now and we were yelling at each other. I am such an idiot.

"I'm sorry." I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arms around her.

"You'll help me find the perfect family for the baby?"

"I will."

"How are we going to do this?" She asks with a low voice.

"One day at a time, like normal."

"Except this is the farthest thing from normal."

"It would be boring if we were." I turn with her to the music. "Let's get out of here."

"Thought you would never ask."

I pull my keys out of my pocket and lead her away.

**Chapter Song: _May I Have This Dance - Scott Krippayne_**


	10. Invisibly Shaken

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

Around two or three in the morning I get home and go to bed, which partially sucks because I have to be at work by 8:30. Without coffee, this morning will drag.

My phone buzzes with a new text.

**Mazzy: **_When you wake up, give me a call._

I smile.

Wait, what? Smile? Yes. I touch my lips to confirm then hit the call button. The dial tone lasts for only 3 rings before his gruff morning voice comes over.

"Morning, Thea."

"Morning, James."

"And, how are you today?"

"I'm doing alright. Still in bed, should be getting ready for work. How are you?"

"Same. Hahaha." This has never happened before, but when he laughs butterflies flutter in my tummy. The only explanation is his confession last night; it put a whole new perspective on things, not a bad one either.

"So, what was the urgency?"

"Oh. I was just wondering if you had any plans tonight."

"No."

"Good. Good. I was wondering if I could pick you up and take you to work so that I could just pick you up this afternoon too so that we could hang out."

"Yeah. That sounds good."

"Okay. I guess I need to get up now. See you shortly."

"Can't wait."

"See ya, Mazzy."

"Bye, Sawyer." I press to hang up the call. A smile plasters its way across my face. Logan is making noise in the kitchen.

It feels unnecessary to relay the morning routine, but thankfully, I don't have any sickness. I style my hair much like Katniss today and wear minimal make up.

I'm starving though and I really want ice cream. So, I pop down the steps to make my way to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Logan." I hug my brother for a brief second then continue on to open the freezer; removing the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Not even pretending to fool around with a bowl, only taking a spoon from the dish drainer.

"Good morning, Little Bit." He chuckles. "Well, can't call you that for long. We'll have to switch to 'Big Bit' in a few months."

"Just remember; it's not my fault." I put a silencing finger up as I eat directly from the tub.

"I didn't say it was. It's just so stereotypical that it's funny." Logan looks confused as Kendall stumbles into our kitchen. Maybe Logan was too out of it to drive so Kendall brought him. How would I know James and I drove all night until I fell asleep.

"So, I heard you on the phone with James." Our tall, blonde friend wags his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah." I chuckle.

"Tell me about your 'plans'." He sits across from me.

"Plans? What plans?" Logan switches to big brother mode.

"James wants to pick me up for work and pick me up tonight and then come to the house and watch movies. Last night, he-."

"Last night he what?" Logan tenses.

"He asked me out."

"Really?! That's so great!" Kendall looks around in excitement.

"I don't think it's such a good idea." Logan scratches the back of his head.

"What? Why not? You and I have made bets for years on how long it would take before they would get together ."

"I know, but we didn't calculate her being pregnant, with her Ex's baby. She has to be careful."

James' car pulls up, honking 3 times.

"I have to go." I stand up, pulling my purse over my shoulder, and leave the ice cream to bolt out the door.

* * *

**_*Cyrus POV*_**

I've folded 30 shirts already this morning; put at least 40 jackets out and smoked 2 cigarettes. Three girls have text me, but I don't bother to text back. Eric gets my attention from my phone.

"Woah, Cyrus. Cy. Come here." He frantically motions me towards the front of the store.

"What?"

"You're not gonna believe this." I get up and stand in the entrance; my eyes follow the way his finger is pointing. The scene before me; Sawyer walking this way with James right by her side and his arm draping around her shoulders.

"You think that's him?" Eric nudges me in the arm.

"Who?"

"The guy she cheated on you with. You know, the baby's daddy."

"What? No."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I-I'm not."

"Do you know something?"

"No."

I watch them approach.

She's smiling.

"You are handling this so well. I don't know what I'd do if I was in your situation. This can't be easy. I just can't believe that she has the guts to show up with that dude though."

"It's fine."

"How do you do it, Man? You're so strong." He clasps my shoulder and turns back in the store.

"I broke her heart first though." I whisper.

"She cheated on you." He is still standing there, over-hearing my comment.

"I broke up with her."

"Yeah. I know, because she cheated and got pregnant."

"Yeah. I guess." I watch them walk by. She's obviously using her best friend to try to get me jealous.

**_*Later that evening*_**

"Cyrus."

"Grams." I smile and approach her already open arms to hug her.

"How ever did you get in at this hour?" She asks as I sit in the chair next to her.

"I called Berna and told her that I had to work over, but that I wanted to come visit you. I know that you don't go to bed anyways. You're a wild one."

"That's me. So, how's my handsome grandson been?" Her hand pats my mine.

"I've been alright."

"Just alright?"

"Yes. How have you been?"

"Same old, same old. How's that darling Sawyer?" She asks.

I sigh.

"I don't know. We broke up."

"Oh, Honey. Oh, Baby. I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"I really messed up, Grams." I lean forward and hold my head in my hands. I'm not sure that I should tell her, she already has so much to deal with, but she is the only person I do want to talk to. Her patience to deal with these predicaments and the comfort she can provide is what I need. No. What I need, and am seeking, is her advice.

"Tell me."

"I-I."

"She's pregnant."

"How'd you know?" I sit straight up and look at her.

"I didn't. But, it was rolling around my brain. Let me guess, you reacted badly? Enough to cause the break up?"

"I told our friends that she cheated on me, that the baby isn't mine. I stood by idly as the made fun of her. I told her to get an abortion."

"Cyrus Quinn Blake."

"I know. I know. But, do you know what Phil would do if he found out?"

"Well, it's none of Phil's business. Did she do it?"

"No. That's why I broke up with her. And, then I tried to hang with other girls in front of her to make her jealous so that she would come back, but instead she started to bring her best guy friend around everywhere. I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Has she said what she's gonna do with the baby?"

"She said that if I didn't wanna keep it, we could find a family. Other than that, we've not talked." I clench my jaw.

"But that doesn't mean that you can't make it right. Tell your friends and parents the truth."

"Grams, I don't want the baby. I can't be responsible for something like that. I'm not ready for that. I just want her to understand that."

"Well, if you weren't ready for a baby, then you should have left your pants up."

"Grams."

"I'm serious. You are every bit as guilty as her, but she's the one who is being responsible."

"I don't know what to do."

"Apologize."

"I don't know how."

"You walk up to her and say 'I'm sorry'. Or live with what you've done."

"I might have to." My phone buzzes with a text from my mom. She's asking where I am. I send her one back telling her where and that I'll be heading out soon. I don't care much for my step dad, but if I dare defy the rules, he'll take it out on me or mom.

"I have to go; that was mom. Wondering where I am."

"Alright, Sweetheart. I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend, but things will work out for the better. They always do."

"Love you, Grammy." I lean over to hug her tightly without squeezing her.

"I love you too, Cyrus."

"I'll be back to see you soon."

"I know you will." She pulls out of the hug and gives my cheek a quick kiss. I smile at her and depart. The parking lot of the nursing home always made me sick, thinking that sometimes people come here once and they never return.

I can't wait until I get enough money saved so that I can get out of that house. As soon as I save the money, I have to give it to Phil and mom to pay for something or another, my car messes up, or another natural disaster happens.

I wonder if she misses me or if she's really moved on.

* * *

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

"You are such a nerd and your little glasses just make it more adorable." I smile.

"You can be a jerk sometimes. You know that?" He raises his eyebrows and does a sarcastic nod, tossing a piece of popcorn at me. I catch it then put it in my mouth.

"I know, but you love me." We laugh but it kinda feels weird now. 'Love' possibly means a different kind now. Of course we still love each other in a best friend forever kind of way, could we possibly actually be 'in love', eventually.

Wow. It's way too early to even be entertaining those thoughts. Is it though?

Stop. Just stop. That will come later.

"Of course I do." He smiles.

**_Chapter Song: Invisibly Shaken - Rodney Atkins (for Charles' POV)_**

**_Chapter Song: Jump Then Fall – Taylor Swift (for Sawyer's POV)_**


	11. Shake

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

It's not a big leap to say that the past and present days of my life have made me feel like anything but a human being. Sure things are going okay, but it's hard to not be able to call your old friends. You'd think that having the day off would bring some sort of relief, but no. The adoption ads I'm searching through are making me hate to face the reality of the coming months.

Yeah. Sure, I could spend a lot of time searching for the right couple to give the baby to, but you never really can know a person. Once I turn the baby over to them, they could do any number of things...

Oh stop.

I'm just being overdramatic. It's prone to happen.

"I'm going out." I shut my laptop, slide it under the couch, and jolt to my feet.

"Where are you going?" Logan looks startled.

"I don't know yet. Just need to get away from everything and myself. I think I'm gonna go dance. Not done that in a while."

"Perhaps it's not that best idea."

"See you in a while, Logan." I grab my bag from my bed and head out the door, much to my brother shagrin.

* * *

I was lucky enough to score a room for aerial dancing. One of perks of being the sister of a mega-popstar, I guess. Spending time in the air is truly a treat, for a few songs, I don't even think about the floor.

_-Instrumental to Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing" begins-_

My hands grasp the sheets and I climb. With the mix of height and adrenaline, I begin to twirl.

_\- "Share my life, take me for what I am. 'Cause I'll never change all my colours for you. Take my love, I'll never ask for too much. Just all that you are and everything that you do."_

This is what freedom feels like. Letting, what you can't control, go.

_\- "I don't really need to look very much further. I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow. I won't hold it back again, this passion inside. Can't run from myself. There's nowhere to hide."_

Allowing the sudden drop is possibly the most liberating motion.

_\- "Don't make me close one more door. I don't wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms, if you dare. Or must I imagine you there? Don't walk away from me... I have nothing, nothing, nothing. If I don't have you, you, you, you, you."_

The floor meets my the soles of my feet and then it's as if I'm lost into another dimension. Music works through all my joints.

_\- "You see through right to the heart of me. You break down my walls with the strength of your love. I never knew love like I've known it with you. Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to?"_

Love nor money could get me stop right now. I swear, I feel infinite. Feet to floor, hair everywhere, sweat sheening my forehead, and with every movement; my worries seem to disappear.

_\- "I don't really need to look very much further. I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow. I won't hold it back again, this passion inside. I can't run from myself. There's nowhere to hide. Your love I'll remember forever. Don't make me close one more door. I don't wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms, if you dare. Or must I imagine you there? Don't walk away from me. I have nothing, nothing, nothing."_

Clapping starts to echo through the empty room. I stumble then turn around to face my critic.

"James, what are you doing here?"

"I just came to watch. I'm not gonna disturb you." He sits on a chair by the table that the radio rests on.

"Yeah, right. You all just didn't want me to be alone. Be honest. You and Logan think I'm gonna do something stupid."

"He does. I don't. You haven't been dancing in a long time and I missed it. But, Logan did seem concerned about the baby. He was wondering if it was safe."

"It's fine. Turn my music back on."

"Got it." He throws his hands up in surrender and I swivel around on one foot. Guilt sizzles through me after snapping at him.

"Would you join me for a dance, Mazzy?"

"Sure." James lifts out of the chair to fiddle with the iPod.

"Pick something good."

"I've got it." He smiles from across the room.

"Shall we dance? I remembered you saying that you liked the video, and watched it 100 times, so I thought we might give it go."

"James, you are just beyond words."

"Well, let's see if my dancing skills are..."

_-"When your legs don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep you off of your feet. Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?"_

He turns the volume up and walks over to me. More and more losing the giddy little smile and becoming more straight faced.

_-"And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70."_

I slide my hand down his arm, lift it up, and intertwine our fingers; while placing my other hand on his shoulder. His hand rests on my waist as we take our first step.

_\- "And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23."_

We sway with the beat for a moment before he spins me out and pulls back in.

_\- "And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe just the touch of a hand..."_

James's hand gently cup my face, then his arms wrap around my body and lift me slowly, but lowers me rather swiftly, and turns me around. I step away from him, never letting his hand go.

_-"Well, me - I fall in love with you every single day. And I just wanna tell you I am."_

I wrap my arm around his neck while he hoists me into the air sideways. With James supporting my weight by holding my ribs and thighs, my arms extend out. He spins us around a few times then returns me to my feet.

_-"So, Honey, now. Take me into your loving arms."_

Our foreheads touch for a slight second.

_-"Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars."_

Back again to swaying, then we turn back to back to ease down to the floor.

_-"Place your head on my beating heart."_

I twist around and touch his chest, he reacts as if a surge went through the veins; puffing his chest.

_-"I'm thinking out loud. Maybe we found love right where we are."_

Our eyes seemed to lock on each other for a few second.

_-"When my hair's all but gone, and my memory fades. And the crowds don't remember my name. When my hands don't play the strings the same way (mmm...). I know you will still love me the same."_

He dips me twice quickly, when upright again, I let gravity lay me back with my hands keeping grip down his arms until our hands meet.

_-"'Cause, Honey, your soul could never grow old; it's evergreen."_

With a gentle tug, he's bringing back towards him and one of my legs wraps around the back of his. On the floor again, I'm spun around and return to him pulling me with my back against him.

_-"And, Baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory."_

Once again, his hand traces along my jawline to the tip of chin; making me look at him. When I see the smile on his face, mine was instantaneous. Feeling a little giddy myself now, I sprits off and do my own thing for a moment, but come back with hands on James's chest. Only to dash around and have him twist to find me.

_-"I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways."_

I'm dipped over his arm and my feet rise into the air to complete a flip.

_\- "Maybe it's all part of a plan. Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes."_

Leaning against his chest, he takes me into the air.

_\- "Hoping that you'll understand..."_

Midway through the song, the music stops.

The iPod probably died.

But, still, James held me there.

"I believe we'll never know what Ed Sheeran wanted us to understand." I drop my legs so that I can stand.

But, before I support my weight again, he twirls me around as if the music never stopped. Seeming to not notice at all that it had. He holds me tight as I hide my face in his shoulder.

"Thank you for the dance."

"Yeah." He backs away. "Anytime."

_**Chapter Song: Shake - Victoria Justice**_

_(Yeah, I know it don't make sense, but just let it slide.)_


	12. The Best Day

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: The Best Day - Taylor Swift_

After dancing, James and I decided to bring the party back to my house. Not that it was much of a party. We're pooped. I'm sure we spent this much time together before Charles and I broke up, but why does it feel like James is my 24/7 companion. He's my bestfriend, sure. But, did we really spend this much time together? Have we always been this close? Lying on opposite ends of the couch, propped on each other. No wonder Cyrus might of thought that something could be going on between James and me.

But, it's not been like that for us. Do you ever just enjoy someone's presence? Like, it's not about doing something all the time, but to be able to just sit in silence together? Doing absolutely nothing is absolutely fine. Nothing is expected when you lay next together to watch a movie.

"Have you heard anything from you parents?" He speaks up. I didn't realize how close to sleep I was. My eyes flutter open and force close again.

"Personally, no. Logan said that Mom has tried asking but really just beats around the bush. Dad not so much. Of course, I don't think that Dad wants to think that I am even old enough to braid my own hair, much less go on dates and further on."

"That's still not an excuse to not talk to you. You're their daughter and that's their first grandchild."

Our legs bump as we readjust to sit up. "It's not theirs if I don't keep the baby."

"Right. But, even if there's the slightest chance that you keep him or her; they'll regret missing out on you and the baby."

"The greatest chances are that I'm going to find him or her a home."

He runs a hand through his hair. "Still, they should support you. I don't think that there's anyway to sugarcoat, this is going to a really hard few months and if you don't have your family there; it could be damage for the rest of your life."

"James, I adore you, but yo-you. I don't understand why you're putting so much thought into my situation." I sigh. "Sorry. That sounded mean. I'm sor-."

"No. It's fine. I'm just putting so much thought into this because you're gonna be upset and that's gonna suck. I don't look forward to how bad you're gonna hurt. That's why I think that your family is being unfair."

"Oh, James." I flip over to his end and he wraps an arm around me. My head lays on his chest. "Don't worry so much about me. I'll be okay. I know I'm making the right decision. I'm gonna help someone complete their family. Someone like Monica and Chandler. This baby is going to be someone's missing puzzle piece. It'll be a bittersweet thing, sure. But, in the end, things will be okay."

"You're a lot braver than I would be, Sawyer Theophilia Henderson." He gives me a squeeze while keeping his eyes on the TV.

For a while, we return to silence. The cooking show is the only source of sound until Logan gets home then he joins us; telling us about his day. James decides to head home after that, then it's left up to Logan and I to decide what we want to eat. Chocolate chip cookie dough or what Logan's left of the Oreos? Aren't there some things that I'm supposed to avoid? Like caffeine and certain cheeses? Do I need to eat certain foods to make sure that the baby is getting enough nutrition?

"I think I need Mom."

"Did you and the milk carton discuss it?" Logan retorts. My gaze follows his to the death drip I have on the milk jug. I set it aside and walk around the island counter to contemplate. "But, what makes you say that?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing here. I don't know how to be pregnant."

"You're a nursing student, aren't ya? It's going to be alright."

"I'm studying to be a Oncology Nurse. I know only the basics about pregnancy. Mom has been through this three times. She should have a few pointers on what I can and cannot do. Maybe, she even knows something about adoption services. There was that time they were going to adopt. Wonder if she made friends with anyone that oversees the process. They'd have inside information about parents who want a baby. And, I could look over the files and pick a really good and deserving family."

"Mom would love to hear from you."

"You think?"

"Positively." He washes his cup out then puts it in the drainer.

"Thank you." I hug his neck as I pass by, grabbing my car keys and heading out the door.

* * *

Knocking on that door took a lot more courage than previously thought. The more thoughts that swish through my brain the more I think that this was a bad idea. Who knows if she will open the door or if she would even want to help me.

"Who's there?" Mom asks from the other side of the door.

"Mom-. Momma, it's Sawyer." A hitch in my throat makes me sound more dramatic than it should be. My shabby looking clothes probably didn't help either.

"Sawyer?" The door eases open. "What's going on? Why are you here? Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"I just need my mom. I need help."

"Of course, Baby. Come here." She opens her arms and I rush into them. "I'm sorry."

"Momma. Will you come spend a little time with me? Maybe get something to eat or walk, I just need to talk."

"Yeah. Just come in while I get my purse and phone." She backs up and takes ahold of my wrist expecting to lead me in.

"I'm not ready. I don't think Dad will want to see me." I pull my wrist back.

Her eyes look me up and down. "Alright."

How close was that? It has been about all that I had not to bolt, and that's just to getting worked up to talk to Mom. I doubt if I'll be able to see my father until after the baby is his or her new home.

The car starts with my music playing low. Quickly, she returns and sits herself in the passenger side. "How about we start with just driving. To get the ball rolling where you want to be."

I nod to her suggestion.

"Is there somewhere you'd like to start?"

"I'm gonna ... find ... the baby a ... home. Please, help me." The more words there are to say the more vomits builds in my throat.

"Starting with the big number. Okay. A home? Are you wanting an open adoption, where you can still be a part of the kid's life?"

"How lousy is that? 'Uh, sorry, Kid. I didn't want you, but I didn't want someone else to have you; so I'm gonna stick around to make life more difficult for you.' What is the meaning behind that?" I change over to rant mode.

"It's not like that. The situation could be that a mother has to give up her baby because she doesn't have the resources to take care of it. So to keep in contact with her child, she finds a family to raise that baby."

"That's obviously not the situation here, Mom. I have more than ample room and income for a baby. I'm just not ready for a baby on my own. This baby is going to have a much better life with someone who needs and is better equipped to have a child. I don't even have a place of my own to have a baby. Logan wouldn't want to have a crying baby around all the time."

"If you decided you truly wanted to keep the baby, and I'm not trying to persuade you, but if you did; Logan would have your back. You two have always been thick as thieves. Even when you were little. He never kicked you out of the group of boys; he'd find a part for you. When it came to school, same thing. Logan loves his little sisters very much. And, I love you too. If you decided to keep it, I would be there for you too."

"I'm so scared that Daddy is never gonna talk to me again. He hates me, I just know it."

"Daddy doesn't hate you at all, Little Bit. He just took it a little harder than the rest of us. You were his first little girl. To him, you were still his baby girl."

It took a few more miles of silence to find a coherent thought, but still further on we rode in silence. Until I had to get out of the car and walk. We found a little strip mall to browse through. Not for anything, just window shopping until there might be something to say.

Of all the people in the world who are trying to have a baby or can't have a baby, why did I get in this predicament? Am I being selfish by saying that I'm not ready? I don't think so, but I feel guilty.

"All throughout your life, from the moment you arrived in this world until the moment you leave, you're gonna have your family. Your father, your sister, your brother, and I are always gonna be here for you. Sure, we're gonna butt heads and disagree over insignificant things, but when it comes down to the real important things that matter; we always pull together."

"That's all I need. Can you just help me through this?"

"Of course, Honey." The hands that held me all my life lovingly pet the side of my face. "It's hard to believe that you're big enough to have a baby. I thought that it was just yesterday when you were running through the yard to hug my legs and sneaking into my bed during a thunderstorm. It's gonna take a little time to adjust."

* * *

The ride home was a lot smoother than the ride before. We talked about the doctor I'd need to get in contact with and made a list of foods and vitamins that would help me... Well, help the baby. Even made a stop at the store to get a head start on that list.

All the talking, window shopping, and driving cleared our heads. It was actually disappointing to pull into the driveway.

"If you wait here just a minute, there's something that I got that might be of great use." Mom lays her hand on top of mine. "Anytime, any question; just give me a call."

"Thank you, Momma. I had the best day with you today."

"Me too. We should have done it sooner."

"Definitely."

"Okay. Now, wait a minute." Momma swings her car door open, taking her belongings, and makes her way into the house.

I wonder what she wants to give me. Maybe a book. Yeah. It's probably one of those "What To Expect When You're Expecting" type of books. Do those things actually work though or do they just get poor women all worked up? Who knows. If it's not a book, I wonder what else it could be. Perhaps an old relic, to pass down through the family.

Wait.

Dang.

I hope it's not, because I'd have to politely turn the gift down. The baby isn't going to have this family, so an old family relic wouldn't mean that much would it? It'd just be an piece of junk from someone they never knew. Or maybe even know about.

What a terrible thought.

"Sawyer?" My head swivels over to a deep sounding voice than I was expecting. There stands Daddy leaning on the open passenger door. "Your mom sent me out here to talk to you. May I sit with you?"

Not knowing how to form a sentence, I just nod. He slides into the seat. Instantly, the tension went through the roof. It was so thick that you could actually slice it with a knife.

"Mom said that you're going to find a home for the kid."

"Yeah." I fidget my fingers around the bottom of the steering wheel.

"I wish you good luck with that."

"...Thank you."

The air seems to feel like the top of room that is set on fire. Sweat is actually soaking my hairline and brows.

"I don't hate you. I never have and never will. You're my girl."

It could have been desperation or just that I actually wanted it, I turn my whole body and wrap my arms around his neck and sob. "Oh, Daddy. I didn't mean to disappoint you. I didn't even want what happened to me to happen. I wasn't sure what I was thinking. I keep telling myself that everything's going to be okay, but deep inside I know it's not. I'll never live this down."

"Sawyer, Honey. Calm down." He does his best to talk over me. "Please, stop crying. You're gonna get me going and then it's going to get ugly."

"Da-addy." This time I chastise him for making light of my hurt.

"I'm sorry. Really." He was trying his best to not chuckle. Believe it or not; I actually burst out laughing. Uncontrollably too. It's a way of coping with stress. This isn't the first time that this has happened. And, here we are laughing our butts off and easing back into our own seats.

"You are a terrible crier." I wipe my face with my sleeve.

"Yeah. Good thing we averted that crisis."

"Good catch."

I'm pretty sure that the look Mom is giving us through the front window is priceless. It's not unusual for Dad and I to deal with things that way though. Instead of building up to a certain point, we like to get down to business.

"You're gonna be okay, Baby Girl. I promise."

"Thank you, Daddy."


	13. Hero

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter song: Hero - Mariah Carey_

After shutting the front door; I climb up the stairs to my room. The dresser drawers are already open from the earlier use, so I take out some sweat pants and a tee shirt. As I take my clothes off, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I turn side to side, examining my abdomen.

I have slightly gained weight; not entirely sure if the tiny pudge that hangs from hip to hip is all the food I've ate or if, in fact, it's my baby. My hands rub down it anyways, then I place them on my back and force my belly out; picturing what I will soon look like.

What am I doing? I can't get attached to this baby. It will make giving him or her away so much harder. But, come on, look at that. I stand sideways again in the mirror, admiring my little pudge.

There's a tiny human in me. A tiny, little me.

"Oh, Lord, what am I going to do?" I pull the tee shirt over my head and the sweat pants up, then trudge to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Following that, the bed is calling my name, even though sleep isn't. So a quick text to James would probably be nice.

**Me: **_James. Are you awake?_

I fall onto my bed and push a pillow to my face.

Logan's not home. Besides, James or Kendall; he's the only one who I'd enjoy talking to right now. Actually, I wouldn't mind hearing from Cyrus.

I wonder if Cyrus has really moved on. Is he really happy without me? Without his baby? He did lie to all of our friends. They all think that I cheated on him. We could have stayed together and got through the pregnancy, got the baby a home, and continue on. But, then I wouldn't have got James. I'm getting to experience a whole new side of him. Sure, I've seen him with others girl, but having it first hand is different. With just a little look, he can make me feel infinite and as if nothing bad will ever happen. Being best friends helps too, there's no weird, awkward getting-to-know-each-other phase. We are us, with benefits. If we last through the next nine months, I can get used to this. Especially his dancing. Putting walls up probably hurt James more than I realize.

Why can't I just dive into this and see where it takes me?

Oh, my phone is buzzing.

**Mazzy calling.**

Better answer that.

"Hello?"

_"Yes, I am. Was just walking Fox and didn't feel my phone vibrate. What's up, Buttercup?"_

_"_Nothing much. Wanna come over. Just got home from seeing my parents._"_

_"Oh. Alright. Give me ten minutes. Have you ate?"_

"Not really."

_"Okay. I'll grab us something on the way over."_

I drop my phone, after checking the time ( which is **11:30 p.m.**), to my side and pick up my laptop. Better work in some of that charting while I can.

Actually, to be honest, what's the point? Will I even be able to continue school? What if I have postpartum depression? Who wouldn't be depressed after giving their baby away? I could spiral into a dark place of which there is no return.

The key is to not think if this baby as mine. I'm simply just carrying him or her for someone else. Someone else who needs this baby to make a family. Like in that movie _Juno_.

I've got to press through.

It's been a long day, but at least I'm going to be spending the end of it with someone who will make it great.

With the time provided, I finish my charting and wait for James. In the meanwhile, I watch the disc of _Primeval _that's in my laptop.

"So, how did your meeting go?" James pops on the bed beside me with pizza.

"Pretty well actually. We made up and they said that they'd like to be there for me."

"Like they should've said from the beginning." He retorts and hands me a piece.

"James." I chastise.

"No. No. I don't think that-."

"What if your college-aged, unmarried daughter came home and told you that she was pregnant; and that her boyfriend broke up with her after demanding she get an abortion?"

"I'd track that boy down and beat-."

"James! I'm serious."

"Me too." Simultaneously, we take our first bites of pizza.

"I just have school tomorrow." I moan. "That's means I gotta get up early."

"Then, why'd you invite me?"

"Because, I didn't wanna be alone and you brought food."

"You only want my friendship for food?"

"What else is there? Laughing? Sharing memories? Getting to know each other? Don't you know that stuff only happens in the movies? Get your head out of the clouds, Maslow."

We both laugh.

"If your head spent more time in the clouds, maybe we could have a movie-like friendship. We might even get to spend everyday together for no reason. Calling each other at 3 in the morning to report awesome infomercials. Spending holidays and special occasions with both families. Who knows?"

"Okay. I'll attempt to bring my head closer to the clouds if you lower yours to the ground."

"Deal."

During our pointless conversations, we eat the pizza and watch more of the show. But, as we all know, good things must come to an end. James says he's gonna head home.

"Goodnight, Thea." He kisses my cheek.

"Goodnight, Mazzy." Our goodbye's short, then he bounces down the stairs.

Keys jingle in the front door and the doorknob wiggles.

"Little Bit, you home?" Logan calls out and shuts the front door. "Oh, James. What are you doing here?"

"Was just hanging with Sawyer. Talking about stuff. But, I'm gonna dash. See ya around, Buddy."

I fiddle with my fingers. Kinda feeling nervous and guilty as to what my brother might think I was doing in his house while he was away and why James made a mad dash out the door. Logan makes his way up the stairs with each step a little heavier until he's in my door frame. There's a possibility that he wants to talk about something. It's all in the way he sighs.

But, who cares? I felt my heart stop when James kissed me. Sure. He's kissed me before, even on the lips. But, that was all in good fun. This felt more like the real thing.

How can it be like this so quickly? James and I talking and it causing me to get fluttery inside? That's not a bad thing, right?

"You got everything ready for school?" Logan steps in my room.

_"_Yeah,_ Dad._" I sigh jokingly.

"I am just making sure. Don't wanna have to deal with it in the morning."

"You won't."

"So, how did your... uh... date go?"

"It wasn't a date. He just came and we hung out in my room for a little."

"Oh, please, tell me that you didn't get pregnant." He stifles a laugh.

"Those jokes are getting old, ya know."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"We just talked about some things. Not too much happened." The smile I tried to suppress made it terribly obvious to Logan that something had indeed happened.

"Spill."

"Nothing happened. I'm just in a good mood. I went to see Mom and Dad, and they apologized. It was just a good day. James and I had a lot of fun too. So, I'm just happy. It's not a crime."

"I'm happy that you're happy, but, Sawyer, be careful. You're young, I know, you wanna be young. He might not be ready for what you're going through."

"We talked about it."

"I'm not gonna invade on your privacy, but just be careful."

"I will."

"Alright. Goodnight, Sis."

"Night, Logan." He departs from the frame. My fingers tap against my thigh, pondering on my brother's words. He is particularly sensitive when it comes to the subject of teenage pregnancy. This has to be bringing back bad memories, though it's not my intention. This wasn't planned either.

* * *

**_/After School/_**

Bexley is out sick today; she won't be at work. I know the other girl who will be working, but we don't talk much. She is on Cyrus' side of the whole "She cheated on me" story. It doesn't matter. I am me and Cyrus is who he is. We went separate ways and already have replacements. Well, he might have a replacement, I got an upgrade.

"Are you gonna do anything or not?" Rianne pushes a box of bras into my chest, I have to grab it quickly to avoid it falling to the floor. Wow. That really hurt my boobs.

_Oh, curse you, sensitive boobs._

"Yeah. Yeah." I reply, rolling my eyes.

There's no chance of seeing James today. The guys are having a studio day, both writing and recording. Of course not all together, they're just being friendly and still helping each other.

Lunch breaks are now spent alone, except for the occasional time when James comes to visit. As of late, I just usually wait to get home to eat. People's jokes are getting more harsh, so got to avoid criticism where I can. Not that I can't take it, I just like to avoid confrontation. I can be mean too, I can fight, but I don't like to. Standing my ground is whole different situation.

Speaking of lunch. Pizza sounds good. It's a good thing that I get a break in 15 minutes.

Pizza just seems to be my go-to at the moment.

All there is to do is make sure no clothes are on the floor, hang more lingerie, lay out underthings, and restock perfumes. Today has not been particularly busy though. A Bride-To-Be and her bridal party comes in, but that is our big rush.

"I'm going on break." I announce to Rianne. She most likely has something ugly to say under her breath but who cares. The walk to the cafeteria is surprisingly pleasant, didn't realize how sick I am of looking at all the pink and black.

For the sake of going easy on my stomach, just a plain pizza is ordered. I order a whole pizza pie, in case Stan is around. He should be. After paying for the food, I take it outside. My eyes dart around.

Bingo. I walk over to him and he looks up.

"Hi, There." I smile. He recalls my face but not name.

"Remember me? Sawyer?"

"Yes, of course. How could I forget?" Stan smiles, making me smile in return.

"I got some pizza. Are you hungry?" I display the box and take a seat at the picnic table on the other side of him.

"Why are you doing this?" He asks. I flip open the box and shrug.

"I hate everyone in there." I point in towards the building, then take a piece of pizza.

"Awh. That's not very nice."

_"_Neither are they. Eat up." His dirty little hands take a slice. Maybe, some germ-x or baby wipes are what he needs next.

"Thank you." He says.

"You're welcome." I take another bite and sigh. "I hate it here. Aside from my one friend, and she's not here today. So, I'm surrounded by a bunch of lily-livered, smack talking hypocrites. I feel like I need to be saved."

"No. No."

"What?"

"You don't need to be saved. You're your own hero. Like in a story. Be your own hero, save your own self. Slay your own dragons. That kind of thing. Don't sit around waiting to be saved."

"But, isn't that the girly thing to do? Wait for their knight in shining armor?"

"If his armor is shining, it obviously hasn't been tested."

"Hah. You've got a good point. How'd you get to be so wise?" I chuckle and ponder.

"My wife used to tell me that. She would tell her father that about me."

"Did he not approve of you?"

"Not at all. I wasn't good enough for his little girl. He was right though. She was too good for someone like me."

"Sounds like a country song."

"That was us." He smiles, by the distant look in his eyes I believe he is remembering something.

"I'd love to hear more sometime, but I've got to get back to work. Keep the pizza."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. It's been nice talking to you."

"Oh, yes. Agreed. Thank you again."

""Take it easy, Stan."

"Will do. You too." I wave and stand up. His story certainly seems interesting. I don't want to be rude and ask though. He deserves his privacy. Maybe, I'll learn one day. Unfortunately, I have to work.


	14. Play It Again

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Play It Again - Luke Bryan_

"School starts tomorrow." I moan as I look at the calendar on the wall.

"School will be good for you. A good thing to take up all your time and steal your mind away from things." Kendall states and leans against the counter. Logan invited him over for a dinner that I didn't know I was supposed to make after being at work.

"You're right, but that doesn't mean that I wanna."

"Yeah. But, you do wanna see your friends again."

"I guess. I didn't really have any at school though. Just Cyrus." I respond to James' text then look up.

"Hmm. So, James? Are you two like a thing?"

"What makes you say that?" I arch an eyebrow and he looks at me as if I'm stupid.

"He takes you to work and picks you up, every time your phone lights up it's with a message from him, and he clings on you like static. You don't even realize it. Omg! Are you friendzoning him?" Kendall guffaws. I push him to the side and stir the pot of noodles.

"Uh. No. Haha. In fact, to celebrate my last night of freedom before school starts back up, we're going to one last party. The one at his dad's house. Anyways. He thinks it's a good way to 'announce' that we're together. Which I'm not sure if that's exactly how to put it. We're still the same. I don't think anything has changed. Do you think that's a bad thing?"

"How do you feel about it? Please, tell me that you're not just toying with James so that you can get back at Cyrus."

"Of course not. I'm not that cruel."

"I was about to say..." He rubs the back of his neck and gives a nervous chuckle.

There's a brief silence. I can see a question swimming in her eyes.

"What is it?"

"I'm not trying to be rude, but what about the situation. .. You're, you know, pregnant." He looks at me but my eyes are looking at my abdomen in the mirror near us, then I turn to face her.

"We already talked about it." I clear my throat and hand him a bowl of salad to wash off.

"Do you think anything will come of this?"

"Seeing as we're entering the relationship with major complications, I'm not sure."

"But, you've also had a long friendship."

"This is true."

From my iPod, the _Hairspray _soundtrack plays. What can I say? It's a family favorite. Especially while cooking.

Italian sounded really good to me; so we're preparing spaghetti, garlic bread, and salad. The meat sauce is filled with vegetables and Italian sausage too. Of course, I keep eating it, so the pile keeps shrinking.

Ugh.

I swear, I'm trying to keep my mind of it but somehow just can't. How can someone the size of a grape demand so much of my thinking space? How come the someone who put it there take up the time I'm not thinking about the baby. My mind just reels. What if one day the baby finds out and wants to track me down? What if Cyrus changes his mind? What would I do about James? What would James do to Cyrus?

To Hades with it all. I'm can't handle anymore stress. No more planning of the future. One day at a time.

"Okay. I'm back. Finally freshened up." After taking a shower, Logan bops through the house and joins us in the kitchen. "What are you two chickens talking about?"

"I was asking Sawyer about her and James."

"Wud she say?" Logan asks while filling his mouth with a taste of the meat sauce.

"I'm standing right here." I point myself out.

"Well, you won't tell anyone full details, so we band together to put the pieces together." Kendall starts dividing up the salad onto plates. "In the group so far; Lex, Carlos, Logan, your mom, and James's dad."

"Go get a hobby. When there's something to tell, I'll tell you."

"Don't deny it. You two have been in love all along." Logan teases.

"Have not! James is just my best friend and now we're just taking things to the next step. Maybe? I don't stop pressuring me. What's gonna happen is gonna happen. I don't even know what my life is gonna be like in the next months. If James and I make it, that will be a big deal. If we don't, but still remain friends, I think God will have to personally come down and slap the shock off my face. Did I make the wrong decision?"

"Hey, Guys. Sorry about being late. Had to stop and get gas." James announces from the front door as he removes his shoes and jacket.

The heat of embarrassment takes over my face and I turn back around to stir the noodles. Logan and Kendall make conversation between themselves, probably not even talking. Just mumbling so it doesn't look awkward.

"Mmm. Smells like spaghetti."

"It is. L.B. had a craving." Kendall butts in.

"Why are you still in your work uniform? Did you come in and start making dinner?" James makes his way over to me.

"Yeah." I mumble.

"I can finish here, if you want me to. You can go take a shower or at least change into something comfortable."

Of course, I didn't make the wrong decision. James is a great guy.

"That would actually be great. Thank you so much. You're the best." I set the wooden spoon aside and wrap my arms around his ribs.

* * *

_***At Home After school, The Next Day***_

Everything about today seemed better. The sun, air, and me. It just feels like a big burden has been lifted off me. And, not even sitting at the dining room table doing homework could bring me down.

"Guess who" Two hands cover my eyes.

"Adam Levine?" I call out.

"Nope."

"Chris Hemsworth?"

"No."

"Ohhh, James!"

"Yes!" He removes his hands and I turn around to face him.

"You look nice." He does. Denim jeans, tee shirt, and worn out converses. A smile dazzles across his face. "Let me go find my shoes and then I'll be back down, okay?"

"Alright. Take your time."

My shoes are in two different places. One under the bed and the other in the bathroom. Organization isn't my strongest attribute. That's something that Logan, Kendall, and I share; but James and Carlos are the clean freaks.

With socks and shoes on, I literally bounce down the stairs and out the door.

"You seem to be in a good mood." He states as he opens the passenger door for me and leans on the outside of it, I lean on the inside part, our faces just inches apart. Smiles grazing both of us.

"I am." I drop down into the car, then he shuts the door. Shortly after, he's in the driver's side, starting the car, and pulling out of the parking lot.

"Well, that's great to hear. I'm glad. You hungry?"

"A little."

"Good. Tonight will be fun. The last fun like this that we're gonna have until April." He sarcastically rolls his eyes.

"Let's make it count then. Have all the fun that is to be offered."

**_*James POV*_**

She just chitter-chatters on. It's so hard to make conversation when she's taking my breath away. I avert my eyes from the road for a second to see her scan through the radio.

_\- "I love you. And, I need you. Nelly, I love you. I do need you. No matter what I do, all I think about is you. Even when I'm with my Buu. Boy, you know I'm crazy over you. No matter what I do, all I think about is you. Even when I'm with my Buu. Boy, you know I'm crazy over you."_ (Dilemma - Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland)

"This song is so old!" She exclaims. That didn't stop her from singing right along to it.

"I know. How does anyone even remember this song exists?"

"Because, - no matter what I do; all I think about is you." She sings and shares a full smile with a fit of laughter following. Today seems like an 'up' day for her. She's been stuck in the rut that Cyrus left her in, but not today. Once again, she scans through the radio.

_\- "Well, I love a rainy night. I love a rainy night. I love to hear the thunder, watch the lightning when it lights up the sky. You know it makes me feel good."_ (I Love A Rainy Night - Eddie Rabbit)

"Oh my gosh! This is my song!"

"I know. You've liked this song for the longest time." I turn the volume up and roll down the windows. Her favorite feeling.

"Yes! Can you remember all the words?!"

"I dunno! Let's see."

_\- "Well, I love a rainy night. Such a beautiful sight. I love to feel the rain on my face, taste the rain on my lips.; in the moonlight's shadow."_

"Showers wash all my cares away, and I wake up to a sunny day! 'Cause I love a rainy night!" She might not sing completely on key, but it doesn't matter. We reach my dad's house, park, and about cut the car off, but she stopped me. In the two seconds it took, she is out of the car and pulling my door open.

"I wanna dance!" She says and takes my hand. No pleading needed, the smile that her face bares gives me so choice. Sort of funny how that works. I twirl her around before pulling her close.

The song comes to an end shortly; I cut the car off and turn back to Sawyer. I watch her bounce up to the front door and knock. That girl is something else. Dad opens the door and they hug in greeting, then they both wave their hands at me to hurry up.

"I'm coming. I'm coming."

The house is lightly decorated with people; a few members of the family and some friends. I take Sawyer's hand, but it's her who intertwines our fingers. Sure we've held hands before, but not like this.

Right off the bat; Philip, Carlos, Kendall, Dustin, Ali, and her baby Emma are here. I'm sure Logan is around way or coming later. We make our way around the people.

"Why don't you head back here and get you two something to eat." Dad calls from the sliding glass door that leads to the back deck. I look at her to see what her say is; she nods and bites her lip.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Yes. But, what if I get sick from the smell?" She whispers that last part.

"Do you wanna wait in here? Or do you not wanna eat at all?" I turn to her, rubbing my thumbs on her forearms.

"Maybe, you can see if it's really potent. Like, see if the smell is really strong."

"Okay. I will." My hands slide down her arms and over her hands. I make small talk with Dad while checking 'the coast'. Once I deem the air trustworthy of not being sickening, I nod.

"There you are. How are you, Hun?" Dad asks of her as she slides in beside me. I wrap my arm around her shoulders.

"I'm doing fine. This boy keeps me sane." Her hand lightly presses to my chest and the warmth of her palm is felt through my shirt.

"James is good at that. He is always one for a charity case." Dad winks and nudges her with his elbow.

Why, Dad, why? All of the possible descriptions that you could use, charity case? She probably is thinking the worst things of me now.

"You're right, he is." Thea smiles.

"Well, I'm not meaning to starve you. You two just go ahead and eat. I'm gonna go make sure nothing of mine is broke." They swap pleasantries until he actually departs.

For a moment we just stand there. Then, the elongated sigh and crossing of her arms tipped me off that she has something on her mind. She picks up a plastic cup of tea then takes a seat on one of the lawn chairs by the table. I'm not sure what the thought is, if it's not about what my dad said, then I don't wanna bring it up. Both in thought, we have silence.

"A charity case? Is that what I am?" Her finger taps at the lip of the cup.

"No. No, not at all." I squat down in front of her, cupping my hands around the back of her knees and rubbing my thumbs over the top.

"Does he think you're just with me so I didn't get an abortion?"

"He doesn't even know about the baby. He knows that I'm with you because I care about you. I'm not with you so you didn't get an abortion. I'm with you, because I waited." I set the cup on the table, take both her hands in mine; holding onto them. "He just had a poor choice of words. You know me better than that, and you know that you are more than that to me. "

"But, what about the baby? What if you realize that you don't wanna be with me because you don't wanna deal with the mood swings and someone else's child? What if it gets to be too much for you?"

"Sawyer, Baby. Stop. Stop. You're working yourself up." I cup both sides of her face.

"I'm scared, James."

"I know. It's scary, but it's gonna be okay. Even if something does happen, I won't stop being your friend. You are gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. I promise. It's okay to be scared, I'll be there to help you." I raise up a little to wrap my arms around her and she returns the favor.

"Thank you."

"Of course." We lean back out of the hug.

"Did you call me 'Baby'?" She smiles.

"I guess I did." I blush.

"I like the way it sounds." She bites her lip. I move to sit in the chair next to her. We spend most of the evening talking to Dad, who joins us a little while later. Then, Ali comes out carrying Emma. They sit on the other side of Sawyer. I watch her study the mother and daughter.

I wonder if she's considering keeping her baby.

"Can I see my niece?" I ask with outstretched arms. Ali passes Emma over to me. I set the infant on my lap, bouncing my leg a little.

"Well, here's Uncle James' girlfriend. Well, what do you think about her? Quite a catch, right?"

"You're crazy." Sawyer shakes her head, trying to hide her smile.

"I am."

Emma scrunches her nose and smiles, patting her hands on my face.

**_*Later on that evening, when James is taking Sawyer home*_**

"You're right. Tonight was so fun."

"I told ya." I hit the 'seek' button on the radio, hoping that we can hear that song just one more time. It would a nice end to the night. Seeing as we are pulling into her driveway, it seems like that isn't gonna happen. So, I stop scanning.

But, the odds are in my favor, because the next song to come on is it. You should see her eyes light up.

_\- "Well, I love a rainy night."_

"I can't believe that it actually came back on!"

"Let's dance." I get out the car and go to open her door, I take her hand. She smiles as I lead her to the front of the car. We spin softly in the headlights. This time, it's a slower dance. I just hold her and sway.

All good things must come to an end, but I would give the DJ anything to play it again.

I spin her one last time, she stops when she faces me. Her arms wrap around my neck and the space that's between us disappears.

She's kisses me and I kiss her back, then she leans her forehead against mine.

"Let me get you in." I take her hand for the last time tonight. We walk to the door.

"Good night, James. "

"Good night, Thea." She pushes on her tip toes, kisses my cheek, and enters the house.


	15. Don't Think I Don't Think About It

/Cyrus POV/

Chapter Song(s): Don't Think I Don't Think About It - Darius Rucker / Wasted - MKTO

"Yo, Cy. You good?" I turn my head to see Eric shaking a bottle, of something that I couldn't focus on, at me. I hold my cup up anyways. Whatever it is might help me forget. He comes across the crowded and smoke-filled living room. By the way he's walking, I'd say he's had enough.

"Thanks, Man."

"You don't look so good. Usually you are the life of the party."

"I just don't feel like it."

The music thumping caused the ground to vibrate under us.

"Drink that, I'm sure you'll be feeling yourself soon enough."

If only there was a drink strong enough for that. Even though my head bobs back and forth, I have to drink another. Numbness is the goal here. Wasted is the a inspiration. Girls try to flirt with me, but I always turn them down. I don't have to deal with that long. A sweat shines my forehead, slicking my hair down. The songs don't even make sense anymore. It's all burring.

My head lulls back.

"I think you've had enough. Let's call you a cab." Someone pulls my arm until I'm standing, or leaning on them.

"But, I drove." Though I'm drunk as a skunk, my words do not slur.

"You're not driving now. I'll get your car to you in the morning." The kind person assists me out the door and waits for the cab to arrive. I don't say anything as I prop on the mailbox. I've always been able to keep my liquor. No vomiting, no drunken outbursts, and no emotional let-outs.

"Here you go. Tell the driver where you live and he'll get you there." He hands the cabbie money, knowing I had to live somewhere in the ten mile radius. And, if any less, he could just keep it as tip for dealing with me.

I spout out an address and sit back as the car starts to move. The world passes by. The address I gave wasn't the one to take me home. I don't have one of those. A home is where you go for love and to be loved. No where does there exist a place like that for me.

I'm such a screw up.

Love doesn't even really exist. It's something we come up with to pretend that maybe we could be happy in this terrible and ugly world and life. It's only an idea for fools. No one could ever care more about someone else more than themselves. People are cruel and selfish things. Me included.

"Here." The driver announces. I nod and push the car door open. I stumble into the yard. The house before me caused a knot to form in my stomach but also a great ease to fall on me.

I approach it. The house I spent most of my childhood in. Gram's house. It's still in her possession, she keeps it just in case she ever gets out. That'll never happen, but who am I crush her only hope.

The front window doesn't lock properly, I crawl in through there. The place still smells of her _Georgio_ perfume, even though all her stuff is in storage. Phil's a jerk like that. He told Mom that he can just sell it from there when Grams dies.

No furniture, no pictures. Just an empty shell of what used to be the best place on Earth to me.

Like me, an empty shell. I don't want pity, I know I made my choice. But, that doesn't make any of this any easier. Sawyer has someone else. I can't tell them that he doesn't have the right. I let them go. Even when she begged me to take her back. No one loved me like she did. No one ever will after this. You think it's possible for me to have a future relationship and not tell them that I have a child out there? What would happen if they found out by other means?

I'm eternally screwed. If I knew that I'd end up feeling like this, things may have went down differently. If she asked me just one more time to take her back, I would. I would take back all the things I said. I'd even say I want the kid. Anything to undo what has been done.

The vacant space seems too much for drunken state, so I lower down, not missing the opportunity to bash the back of my head in to the wall.

"Yeah. Screw you too, Wall." I lay over, twisting to lay on my back. Normally, at this point, a person can drift to sleep. That's no good for me. Like having Freddy Kruger haunt your sub-conscience, my bad choices haunt me. There's no end for me.

I've got no more tactics or ideas on how to make it up to her. All that is possible to be done has been.

How could I let this happen? All I wanted was to get out of this place, but now I would kill for somewhere to belong. To have someone to belong to. A pet even at this point would satisfy me.

If I took on more responsibility and show more maturity, maybe that's how I'll prove to her that I need a second chance. A place to live, a stable environment. It shouldn't be that hard. Miscellaneous spending can be cut and save lots of money. Once that's done, she'll have to notice.

"I need a smoke." I pat my shirt pocket for my pack and lighter. Once located, I sit up against the wall and light up.

She has to still love me. She kept my baby alive in her. That has to mean something. If Sawyer wanted to raise a baby with me 2 months ago, why wouldn't she now?

Sawyer has to still love me.

There's not another person in the world who does.

How did I get this far? Why did I let this happen to me? I have to get her back and show her that I'm sorry.

What could I do to make up for how I treated her? The way I left and what I said; that's unforgivable.

The sooner I tell her; the sooner she might take me back. We could be a couple.

We could be a family.

Where's my phone?

My pocket, should be. Yeah. There it is.

Down my contacts to her name, I hit call and lay over on the floor.

Do I even know what I'm gonna say?

There's no answer. No big shock. A voicemail will suffice.

"Hello! You've got my voicemail box, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you when I'm available."

There's the beep.

"Sawyer. You've got to know something. I'm so sorry. I'm filled with regret over everything that has happened to us lately. I thought the work and whiskey would make me forget how I feel about you, but no such luck. The choices we make, we have to live with them I know that. But, if you were to ask me one more time to be a part of your life, I'd say yes. Ah. But, you've got James now. I know. But, I wonder where we would be if I never walked away. Would you and I be picking out names and putting together a nursery? Do you think I would have asked you to marry you? I think maybe I would have. Don't think I don't think about it."

**_/Next Morning/_**

"I have no idea how I got here. Honestly, after the hot red-haired girl walked away from me, I don't remember a thing."

"You can't be serious. I'll be there to get you shortly."

I lay my phone down as I cover my eyes with my arm after I hang up with Eric. The series of moans and the headache give way to feeling the need to vomit. My hands smell like cigarette ashes and it's not helping.


	16. Brave

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Brave -Sara Bareilles_

Sitting at the table after the work with homework isn't my ideal evening, but it has to be done. Already made my ASL homework video, the French is considerably easy tonight. As expected, Microbiology isn't. My hand is crammed halfway through my hair, my eyes plowing the complicated terms from the page, as my hand tries to keep up with taking notes.

I'm desperately wishing for a text or call from James. I told Bexley that I am studying and she knows that means not to distract me, but I need a distraction. A James kind of distraction.

Nope. No distraction. So, I chug on until I reach the stopping point, then I reward myself with oreos and milk. A quick check through Tumblr, Facebook, and my email. Nothing much that I'm really interested in going through. My quick-calm-down treatment is to watch Lord Of The Rings. It does the trick, because before long I was asleep.

* * *

Time. It's only a concept; it doesn't really exist, but there's never enough of it anymore. It goes by too fast. Hours turn into days, days in weeks, and weeks into a month. So, you have to use your time correctly and efficiently. Use it on the people you love mostly, but don't forget to take care of yourself too.

Could it possibly already be the beginning of February? Yeah, with no doubt from my figure. I can barely conceal this bump underneath a shirt. Not that it's huge, but my clothes are small. It sticks out as much as if I were lay an orange on my pre-baby body.

I'm staying over at James's later tonight since it's Friday night. Going out isn't much of an option. Just work and school.

"Bex, want the Friday usual?" I ask.

"Yes. Of course. I love you terribly!"

"I know you do." I grab my purse and exit the store to pick up Chinese in the food court. It's good to see Stan working as janitor now. He really deserves better. He served our country. In all honesty, he doesn't deserve to be changing trash bags, he deserves to lay at home and do nothing. But, this is a stepping stone.

I have to wait in line for the food, but I finally get through. Since my belly is big and stable enough, I balance one end of the to-go boxes on it and hold the other end with a hand, while my other hand reaches in my purse trying to locate my ringing phone. I am not paying attention, therefore I do not see the object that my feet trip over.

I release the food and place my hand over my tummy to cushion my bump. I turn my body, but that didn't help much. The edge of a chair scrapes up my side ending with a bang to my nose and forehead.

It's hard to breathe.

I can hear and uproar of laughter. Someone says my name, then is touching me.

"Crap. Sawyer, you okay? Sawyer?" Cyrus is down on his knees next to me. Silent tears flow down my face.

_"Yo. She fell. What do you care?"_

I can't even touch my side, it hurts so much. Blood starts to drip from my nose onto my clothes.

"Sawyer, are you okay? Say something. D-d-d. Is. The baby?"

_"What's the big deal? Leave her alone."_

"Just shut up for once in your life!" He snaps at his colleagues.

_"Excuse me?!"_

"She fell! She's pregnant! This could be serious!"

_"Chill. I didn't trip her."_

_"What the-?"_

A small whimper sounds in my throat as I reach for my phone. I see Stan coming over with his cleaning trolley. I feel bad.

Cyrus watches me with the most intent eyes. It rather infuriates me. My hands tremble as I dial James' number. My head hangs down so I don't see their stares.

"Here. For your nose." I look to see Cyrus handing me some napkins. I take them, gently wiping around my face.

_"Hello?"_

"James, please come get me."

_"What happened? Are you okay?" _The scratching of the chair dragging on the floor is heard from the other end, along with the rattling of keys.

"Just get here." My voice cracks in pain.

_"I'm on my way, Baby. I promise."_

"Thank you." I hang up.

"Can I help you up?" Cyrus offers. I would love it very much if he would leave me alone, but seeing as I feel as though I can not move, the help is needed. So, I nod and extend my hand out.

"Take your time. No rush." He takes my hand, I have to bite my lip to avoid screaming out in pain.

Finally, I get to a standing position. He picks up my purse and belongings, I just keep the napkins placed on my face and mumble apologies to Stan for the mess; he insists that it's not a big deal.

"Okay. Enough charity case for the day. Don't forget what she did to you." Erica calls out.

"She didn't do anything to me! I lied!"

_"Say what?"_

_"We're so confused."_

"She didn't cheat on me! I did it. I got her pregnant."

Thankfully, my gaping jaw is blocked by crumpled napkins. I pick up my purse and slowly move away. Bex has to know that I have to leave and I can't be around that anymore. I already feel emotional.

By the time I get back to the store, Bex is frantic. When she sees my appearance, it gets worse. I try to relate in as few words as possible what happen, because each time I breathe in, it hurts. I apologize immensely though. She pardons me to leave.

When I finish with my explanation, James shows up in a huff; going insane when he sees me.

"I'll explain in the car. Please, let's go."

"Of course, Baby." Out of habit, he places his hand on my side, and I step away, scrunching my face in pain. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. I fell. It all hurts."

"Where did you fall?" He slowly walks by me, trying to get me to his car.

"Food court."

"Did you only hit your face?"

"No. My side too." The napkins I am using have filled with blood, so we stop at the next bathroom to dump them and get fresh ones. He leaves it to minimal detail until he gets me to the car. Then, wants a full inspection.

"How bad did you hit?" James asks. I lift my shirt, not shy since we're by his car. Bruising already setting in. It looks pretty bad, and though I try not to, I have more tears starting to flow.

"What if I hurt my baby?" I sob.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." James tenderly helps me get buckled and drives slowly to the hospital. He makes me take a seat while he gets the information sheet. I hold onto the side of my body that I didn't injure.

_I'm sorry, Little One. I'm so sorry. Be okay. Please._

I relay my needed information to James and he writes it down then returns the sheet. The taste of blood has taken over my mouth, though the bleeding has stopped.

"Baby, is there anything that I can get you?" He asks, I only shake my head.

I just need to know that I didn't hurt my baby. This is my baby. There's no way that I can give him or her up. I knew the entire time that it would never happen. This was just a wake up call of the obvious. This baby is meant to be mine and if I've not hurt him or her mortally, they will be mine. No matter what.

"I don't wanna give the baby away." I mumble, trying to be louder.

"What was that?" He leans in closer, putting his ear closer to me. I clear my throat.

"I don't wanna give my baby away. I don't want someone else raising my child. I wanna keep my baby." I can't look him in the eye. He didn't sign up for raising a baby with me. James probably won't even be ready for children for another 10 years.

"Alright." He nods.

"I know that this isn't what you agreed to, but I just can't stand the thought of having my baby out there being raised by someone and never meeting him or her. My head always told me that everything would be okay with adopting, but I never believed it. I want to keep my baby."

"Then we keep the baby."

"You wanna do that?"

"Yes. I want to be with you and keep our baby." He takes my hand in his, softly pressing his lips to my knuckles.

"We're ready for this?"

"We are. Everything is gonna be alright. I promise."

I look down at my now blood stained shirt. Beneath, a small human being is there. Someone who fully belongs to me, who is mine. For so long, I tried to convince myself that I had to give him or her away, but it simply can't be done. It's sad that it has to come to this for me to realize.

I half smile; rubbing on the non-hurt side of my stomach, with my head on James's shoulder.

_**/James POV/**_

_*An hour later*_

"Sawyer Henderson?" A nurse calls, but she can't hear. The girl is half asleep on my shoulder; wore out from crying earlier. I kiss her hair and rub down her arm to stir her.

"Thea. Come on."

"I'm awake." I stand and help her to her feet. We walk to a room not to far away, but still makes me want to carry her instead. She cringes with each step. It frustrates me not knowing if I can do anything to help her.

She and the nurse get straight to talking in fancy medical terms. After examining her side area, Deborah (the nurse) suggests that an ultrasound can be performed for good measure.

"I've not had time to get an actual OB yet. Not had an actual ultrasound. This is gonna be the first." She holds my hand after Deborah leaves to get equipment.

"Really? And, I get to be here?"

"Well, I'm not gonna kick you out."

"You better not. I'm anxious to see." My heart could probably register at 246 BPM right now.

"This is the first time for both of us."

"There's been a lot of those lately. Firsts. How about another one?" Heartbeat sounds ring in my ears.

"Hmm. Surprise me." She says and her eyes shift up to mine.

"I love you. Like, more than just a friend. I am in love with you. And, if you wanna keep this baby, that's great. I want to do it with you. You and me, we can do it. If you'll let me. Please. Let me prove to you that not all guys are gonna run away from responsibility. You don't have to do this alone. I'll help. Will you let me? I know that this has been scary for you, but if you let me, you won't have to do this alone. I'll be here for everything. I promise. I'll hold your hand through whatever life will throw at us. It's not gonna be easy, I know that. But, I know that it'll be worth it."

My heart is somewhere in my throat. Pounding away.

"I don't understand why you're so nice to me, but I'll take however long to figure it out."

I push the hair from her face and kiss her forehead. I really don't understand this thing that Sawyer and I have going on. It's not in any way normal or even believable. It doesn't have to be. I am in love with her

Just as she is about to say something, Deborah walks back in. Behind her, an awkward machine. She rolls it in the room, and plugs it in, causing beeping. I assist Sawyer onto the examining table. Gradually, she lays back, taking tighter hold of my hand. I'm not sure if she's nervous or frightened, but I intertwine our fingers.

"Would you, please, lift your shirt?" The elderly nurse turns to my girl. She does as is asked of her, exposing her abdomen. There, for the first time, I see the small bump. Yes, I've seen her, but rarely has she worn anything other than baggy clothes. Though, here it is. Small, but big enough to make this all seem more realistic.

"James?"

I don't realize that I am staring.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, do we have a nervous daddy?" Deborah smiles cheekily.

"Yes. Very nervous." I speak up.

"What about you, Mom? You doing alright?"

"We'll see when we see how the baby is."

"First time parents?" She inquires again. We both only nod. "Everything should be fine. You two don't need to worry. Though, I know it's only natural. Let's get this thing started."

Blue gel is dispersed over her belly. Our eyes lock on the screen then.

I'm sure there should be an image or sound. It makes me nervous. The blank screen and silence has a tightening effect on my stomach. Maybe, it just takes a minute.

"Everything will be just fine." I whisper; laying my head on hers, kissing her hair and closing my eyes.

"Oh." Deborah says.

My pulse quickens as silence rings out and Sawyer squeezes my hand.

* * *

_**AN:** I chose the Chapter song for Cyrus being brave enough to admit what he did. For Sawyer telling James that she wants to keep the baby. For James telling Sawyer how he felt._


	17. Kiss Me Slowly

_**/James POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute_

"What's going on?" Thea refrains from moving, but I can tell she might burst out of her skin.

"Hold on."

I can hear and feel her breathing hasten.

"Shhh." My attempt to coo her is so low that it sounds more like I am trying to comfort myself.

Everything has to be okay. It has to. We just decided to keep the baby.

If he or she were to be ripped away from us; Sawyer probably wouldn't make it.

_Oh, please. Oh, please. Let things be okay._

My eyes still have not open. I can't force myself to see the look on her face.

_-thump, thump-thump,thump-thump,thump-_

An audible sigh of relief floods over all of us. We take a minute to bask in the glorious sound of the tiny beating heart.

"Look. There's your baby." I quickly turn my head. Squirming and wriggling, a baby shows on the screen. Thea's free hand covers her mouth. "Awful hard to locate, but there it is."

"That's my baby." She whispers.

"That's our baby." I smile down at her. She tilts her back to look up at me. Those hazel eyes are so gorgeous. I pull the chair that is near the table over so I can sit on it, putting myself closer to her abdomen. My hand gently touching the side.

"Looks to me as if everything is just fine." Deborah announces.

"I didn't hurt the baby?"

"No, Ma'am. Looks like your side took the blow. You'll probably not gonna want to sleep on that side tonight. Dad, make sure that Mom here gets plenty of rest and if possible just take it easy. She will be sore, but she'll be okay."

"Okay. Okay." I nod. A paper towel is given to wipe the gel away, then she slides her shirt down; stiffly removing herself from the table.

"You're free to go now."

"Thank you so much."

My heart beats with ease now that I know it's all gonna be okay.

"Is there anything I need to get for you? Anything you wanna stop to get?" I ask once we exit the building.

"No. Going home just sounds good to me."

"Alright, Baby Doll. We'll go home."

I hold her hand as we depart. There's a slight tremble to it, from either adrenaline or being actually cold, is not clear. We are okay though. The baby is okay.

"Thank you." She lays into my chest wrapping her arms around me; I put my arms around her shorter form. I lean on my car holding her to my chest, swaying side to side slightly. "That scared me, James. I just realized that I wanted my baby, and I thought It was gonna be torn away from me. I never want to feel that way again."

"I know, Baby, I know. It's all okay now." I place a soft kiss on top of her head. "Let's get home."

"Please." She opens her own door before I can, but I shut it. By the time that I am getting in and starting the car, she has her shirt pulled up again, just exposing her belly.

"I'm so glad that she's okay."

"You think we're having a girl?" I smile, putting pressure on the gas and pulling out of the parking garage. Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see her hand rub against her belly.

"It could be. Or, it's a boy."

"Well, duh. It's one or the other."

"Smarty." Laughter fills the car.

"Either way, boy or girl, the mother is extraordinarily gorgeous."

"Sweet talker." She pulls her shirt down and puts her hand over on my lap. I scoop it up and gently place a kiss there. The radio plays at a low volume, giving us enough noise to rest quietly without feeling awkward. In fact, it gets so quiet that I believe she has fallen asleep when we get home, but no. Only in her own little world.

"Earth to Theophilia. Hello?" I snap my fingers in front of her face.

"Huh?"

"Come on. We're home. At my home."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's alright." We unbuckle and get out, walking to the door hand in hand.

"May I take a shower?"

"No." I sarcastically answer.

"But, I smell like Chinese food."

"It's sexy."

"Nooooo." She steps in after I open the door.

"You know where it is. Go on."

"Thank you." I kick the door shut. "I don't have any clothes to change into. I had planned on going home after work."

"I'll get you something. But, I don't think you'll fit my bras. I've got bigger boobs." She playfully snarls and shoves me in the arm. "I'm serious. Look at these things!" I slip my shirt off.

"Ahh! I'm blinded! Put those things away!" She presses my shirt against me, forcefully shutting her eyes. "No, let me go!" She screams as I encase my arms around her.

"Alright. I'll get you some clothes. You need to shower." I sniff her hair. "You smell like Chinese."

"Yeah. No crap, Sherlock. And, I need to wash these before the blood stains set in too bad."

"Go on. I'll take them to the washer." She glides up the stairs, turning into the bathroom. In my bedroom, I grab some pajama pants and a big tee shirt for her. She opens the door enough to take them and hand me the dirty pants and shirt, then the water turns on. I'll head downstairs to put these in the washer and then shower.

I've heard that dish washing liquid helps remove blood from clothes, so I try that first. The Dawn soap seems do the trick, it's mostly gone. The clothes go in the washer and I into the shower.

It's a quick in and out thing for me. I just wear some sweatpants and ascend the 12 steps. As I come up to my room, Thea is standing in the door looking at the full length mirror that hangs on my bedroom door. She doesn't see me, so I don't say anything as she twists and turns to look at her stomach. The ivory smile is priceless. The mess of hair on top of her head has lots of tiny strands popping out, giving her a lazy, beautiful look.

"You look amazing." I finally speak up and step into the door frame.

"James!" She jumps, dropping her shirt.

"Yes?"

"I didn't see you there. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I pull her to me, feeling a lump where her tummy is. It makes me smile.

"Can we have a serious talk? I need to ask you a few things."

"Of course."

"I know you're sick of this question, but I have to be absolutely sure. You have to be sure, that you're ready for this. For us. I know it was a sudden decision, to keep the baby. If you want to, it would be great for you to stay. But, if you're not serious, I'd rather this not continue. When my baby comes, I don't want to have to deal with a break up."

"When our baby comes, I'll be holding your hand." We intertwine fingers, looking directly in each other's eyes. "I am so serious. I want to there for it all. Pickle ice cream, 3 in the morning cravings, and all that good stuff. I'm not sure what this is gonna be, but I am gonna stick around to find out. We are gonna do this. I am going to be here for you. I would not start something I can not finish. You're gonna see. I love our morning phone calls. I love to hear your laugh. The look you have when you're studying. The way you can quote all the Lord Of The Rings movies. I just love it all. I just love the way you're everything I ever wanted. I'll show you that I am gonna be here." I pull her even closer. She pushes on her tip toes and I lean down, her arm snakes around my neck. Our lips meet momentarily. My hand holds the back of her head after she tilts it to the side for a deeper, prolonged kiss. We break. I lean my head on her forehead.

"Sleep with me tonight."

"Alright."

When we stay over, it's usually on separate couches. So, when I start to pull her towards the bed, she looks surprised.

"It's okay." I pull the covers back, letting her and myself get in. She lays on her left (non-injured) side, facing away from me. Would she be uncomfortable if I just scoot in? I take my chance.

She remains where she is, then I gently place my arm over her.

"Thank you."

"What for, Baby?"

"For taking me in. Not letting me get to me."

"I love you." My hand slides off her arm to her stomach. "I mean it. I do."

"I believe you."

"You better. I'll do everything I can to prove to you that I want to your anything." Her hand lays on top of mine.

"I love you too, James." Our bodies mesh together, so do our legs. Such a little thing, but a giant step for us. Each breath that she breathes, I get to hear. My arms get to hold her. I am allowed to stroke her hair and touch her stomach lightly. Soon enough, her breathing is relaxed in sleep.

"Goodnight, Beautiful."

* * *

_**/Next Morning/**_

My warm breath brushes against the back of her neck, arms enfold her, and sunlight rinses the curtains. She pets Fox's head as he sleeps by her chest.

"Good morning." Her yawn is cut short by the shock of hearing my voice. I guess she didn't think I am awake.

"Morning."

"How did you sleep?"

"Perfectly. How about you?"

"Same."

"How is the baby?"

"She-." Her chuckle sends a smile across my face. "Or he, is fine."

"Are either of you hungry?"

"Yes."

"What are you wanting?"

"Fruit."

"I've got plenty of that."

"I know you do, Health Nut." Fox relocates to my legs, so Thea turns to lay on her back, to look at me. Her face is a light red color from laying on it all night, but it's cute. Her eyes are only halfway open, as if she were to close her eyes she would drift back to sleep. Which would be fine. Extra sleep sounds like a real treat right now. Plus, she's so cute when she sleeps, curling herself into a tiny ball.

She gets the remotes from the nightstand, turns the TV on, and finds a Cake Boss marathon. We lay there. That's it. Just lay in bed. Pretty amazing start to this Saturday.

"I was thinking about something." I prompt as I watch her brush her hair.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Why do you work at the mall? Your brother and boyfriend are millionaires."

"Just because you all are rich doesn't me I am. I still need money." She sets the brush aside while gingerly laying back.

"Well, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, don't you worry about safety and all that? Like paparazzi?"

"No. Not really."

"Hypothetically, if someone were to call, say I don't know, TMZ? And, start rattling their guts off about about you?"

"Don't know. Never really gave it much thought."

"You could come work where I record my music. That studio is always looking for new people to hire. Like press parties, interviews, secretaries, and assistants. The list goes on and on. You'd be really good at that stuff."

"Because, it's hard to pour coffee in a styrofoam cup and carry it 15 feet?" Her face contorts in disbelief.

"It's not like that. Maybe a little. But, it'd be a lot more fun."

"I'll give it some thought."


	18. What About Love

**_/Cyrus POV/_**

_Chapter Song: What About Love - Austin Mahone_

"You shouldn't have tried to lie for so long, Cyrus. I told you this would happen."

"But, Grammy, they acted like I murdered someone."

"You murdered that poor girl's reputation. How are they treating her? Do you even know if she's okay?"

"I haven't seen her since the day it happened. She's not been to work."

"Have you tried to call?"

"No. She wouldn't answer."

"Leave a message then. If she's not been to work in a few days, she may be in a serious condition. You need to make sure she's okay. If something up, you need to be there with her."

"She can just get her James to do it. He will anyways."

"James? Who is James?"

"Her new boyfriend." I roll my eyes.

"Already? Wait. Does he know she's pregnant?"

"Yeah. But, they've been best friends forever. It wouldn't surprise me if they were sneaking around behind my back when we were together."

"I doubt that they'll last long. To take care of your own child is a big deal, but to take care of someone else's? Phew. When it does crumple, you'll have another chance."

"Jeez. That's not what I want."

"You come here every day telling me about how mad you are. I have to hear it all the time how he's at your workplace and you seeing them together. What do you want then? You did break up with her though. What do you want? Her to sit around and be alone while you move on?"

"I'm not saying I'm a saint. I'm far from it, but she moved on too fast. You know what? I'll side with you; they won't last. When she gives the baby away, she'll push everyone away and lash out. If they even make it that far. I doubt it."

"She's giving the baby away?" Grams readjusts in her seat.

"Yeah. One of the last things she told me. Gonna find a family that needs a baby."

"Well, I guess, then you really don't need to be involved. She's making a big, hard decision. I didn't know about that. It's really best that you don't get involved."

"Okay. If you say so."

"I'm not trying to be mean."

"No. No. I trust you. I asked you what to do."

"What are you gonna do about your friends? You say that they exiled you?"

"Yeah. Hopefully, this will blow over."

"I hope so, Darling. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time."

"It was self-inflicted."

"Maybe so, but I still love you."

"Thank you, Grammy. Love you too."

"You should get to school now." She looks at the clock and I follow lead.

"You're right. I'll be seeing you again shortly. I promise." I stand up.

"I know. Be safe, Cyrus."

"As always." I dash out the door and to my car. The plan originally was to get to school early to study, but instead ended up seeing Grams.

Well, since I spilled the beans about Sawyer's baby at work, about it being mine too; people have distanced themselves from me as they did her. It sucks, but I had it coming. They can't stay mad forever; they'll come around. Grams may have a point though. Does she really think James is gonna stick around while she carries someone else's baby? She was my girlfriend and I didn't. If she's giving the kid away, I guess he might stay.

* * *

_**/Later That Morning/**_

Why is this bothering me so much? I don't care what they do.

Well, that is, until I see them in the school parking lot. I pull into a parking space and shut the engine off. Wow. Is she really trying to put on a public display? They sit side-by-side on the car's hood. Bexley is there too, clapping her hands and bouncing happily, then placing them Sawyer's belly. She laughs turning her head towards James, who in turn places his hand on her belly too.

Steadily, a heat singes across my face.

What are they doing? She's letting them paw on her; when I tried to help her up, she allowed only minimum touching. How is that even fair?

He slides off the car, helps her get off, then crosses a line when he kisses her all over the face. The pair share a hug before he looks at his watch and getting into his car. Bexley and Sawyer walk towards the buildings arm-in-arm, then breaking to go separate ways. I grab my backpack, throw it over my shoulder, and run from the car to the building where Sawyer entered.

Her and James will end right now, if this works.

"Excuse me." I say and touch her shoulder. She turns around, her shoulder hitting the wall. Her eyes roll when she sees who I am, then tries to walk away.

"Please, hear me out. I just wanna talk to you. Tell me, is the baby okay?" A physical red color highlighted her cheekbones. Embarrassment or anger?

"They're okay."

"They're?!" I clear my throat. "There's more than one?"

"No. I was using it as a gender-neutral term. Now, I have to go."

"No, please. I said I wanna talk. I do." I place my hands on either side of her arms on the wall.

"I don't have anything to tell you."

"You're totally right. It's me. I'm so happy that our baby is okay. I was so worried." I pet a finger down her cheek then down her jawline. Her nose scrunches in a snarl.

"What do you want?"

"Us. You know that you want it too. Remember? We were so happy."

"Yeah. Until you told me to get an abortion." She tries to escape again, but I move in closer on her.

"I was scared."

"I was too. So what?"

"So what? So, what about love? All the promises we made? You took everything when you left me. I took the pain for too long now. We need to be back together. You know we look good together. We were everyone's favorite couple. You talked about getting married to me, and even having a baby. You need me, admit it." I stare right at her hazel eyes that swarm with anger and frustrated tears.

"I'll admit that you need help. You're crawling back pathetically trying to get brownie points to make you look good to your friends."

"No. We were supposed to last forever." At this point, my chest is touching hers we're so close. If I would like to, I could kiss her, but opt not to.

"You can't stand that someone else is man enough to step in and not let me do this alone! You can't stand that, despite how you and your friends treated me, I am happy! I am keeping the baby! And, you have no room to come crawling to me! Go find someone else to mess with! Because, you're done messing with this girl." She pushes my chest, but I don't budge.

"He won't love you like I can and most definitely will not want that baby. He may say so, but not really. He's too young to settle and it's not his." I lean my head to her right side, putting my lips near her ear to whisper. "It's mine." Her heads turns away. "He doesn't love you like I do."

"You had a chance. You did everything in your power to make it known that you were done with me. Whoring around right after we broke up. This baby is mine. Only mine. Don't concern yourself with what I do. Go find another one of those rich girls that can't seem to wait to want to get out their tight butt shorts. Maybe, you can get one of them pregnant too."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Then, you shouldn't have hurt me. You should have held me when I told you I was pregnant. You should have been on my side all the times your friends were making fun of me. I wanted you to just say one thing to stop them. Just one time." She allows thick tears to stream down her face. "I couldn't stand not being by your side and I never could imagine you letting them talk about me, I never would let anything like that happen to you. I needed you more than anyone and you were the ring leader for the bear beating I was receiving. I asked you to help me, I asked you to be with me, but you wouldn't. I waited for you to come around, but you didn't. You hurt me worse than I ever have been hurt in my life. All the promises we made were so stupid. I was the only one who meant it when I said that I loved you more. Now. Let me go." With shoulders shaking from the sobs and face beet red; she dunks under my arms and walks away.


	19. That's What I Call Crazy

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: That's What I Call Crazy - Lucy Hale_

I can feel my body tremble and my throat is tight. How can he just think that he owns me?

"You're making a mistake. This is crazy." He calls out.

"You made a mistake. You walked away from me first." I turn around.

"So, I will have to suffer forever for it?"

"Yes! You will! Every day you _will_ have to live without me. And, you think that this is crazy? You should've seen me wait by the phone, tear our pictures up and burn them. Waking up at 4 in the morning crying, just wanting you. You should have seen me wanting you before it was too late. Because, now it is. You know what even crazier? I finally let you go. I am not even angry at you. You don't wanna be tied down I get it."

"That doesn't change the fact that I still got you pregnant."

"You got me pregnant. So what? Want a prize? Any one of these guy's can get a girl pregnant. Don't act like suddenly you've come to a big turning point and think that you want to be a part of the baby's life. And, I don't want anything from you."

"What if I did change?"

"You're not going to! You knew I was pregnant when you had those girls laying on you. You wouldn't have let people make fun of me if you wanted to change. You wouldn't have lied for so long. I'm done here. Just-." I turn away from him.

"I told everyone! I was so worried when-. I thought you were hurt and that maybe the baby got hurt too."

"Will you stop! I've seen you do this a million times! You don't want me! You want to look good to everyone now that they all know. But, no. I am not part of your act anymore. I am done."

"Sawyer, please."

"No, Cyrus! Just don't bother me. I'm done having this same argument with you. You broke up with me. That's the end of that. We have nothing else in common."

"We have a baby."

"_I_ have a baby. You were just there when to help make him or her. Don't front. You don't want to take of, or be a part of, this kid's life."

"You don't understand. I do. I want to take back everything I said and did. I want to be with you and the baby. I love you, Sawyer."

"Just leave me alone." I walk again, late to class. Thanks a lot.

Going to class was a waste of time and the rest of the day was pretty much shot too. I got so worked up fighting with Cyrus. Thankfully, it's just a review day. I'll just go over it at home with a wine glass of grape juice.

I just need to blow off some steam before James comes to pick me up. A little friend therapy is always a good way to release steam. And, judging by the SnapChats that Kendall has been sending me all day, he's got nothing else to do. So, I filled him in on what happened.

**_K Schmidt: _**_L__et's have a night in. I'll bring an Ande's milkshake and lots of gummy bears. Would that make it better?_

_**Me:** __I don't know. I'm just over my limit with him. I want to go 1000 miles away from all this._

**_K Schmidt: _**_You're stressing. Think of the baby._

_**Me:** I am. I'm always thinking of the baby. It's hard not to think of something that's growing inside of you._

_**K Schmidt:** I'm sorry. Just calm down._

_**Me:** I will. I think that I'm just gonna go home and go to bed. I am so tired and irritated._

_**K Schmidt:** Alright, but you know that you can call me if you get to feeling better._

_**Me:** Thank you. I'll probably just lay in with some Ben and Jerry's and watch Dead Poet's Society until I fall asleep._

_**K Schmidt:** You gonna see James?_

_**Me:** Yeah. He's gonna pick me up in a few minutes._

_**K Schmidt:** Alright. Just take it easy. Don't get so stressed._

This situation is just becoming too out of hand. Maybe, James was right. Working that close to Cyrus is going to be difficult. A job away from there might be for the best. Unfortunately, I can't just remove him from campus. He doesn't mean to come across so rude but he does. Deep down, Cyrus is a good person, but he's letting his past cloud his future.

"Hey, Baby Girl." A rush of air hits my face when James's car stops in front of me.

"Hey, Jamie." While I stand, James gets out of the car to pick up my backpack and briefly kisses me.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" He automatically picks up on my mood.

"It's just the hormones, I think. There was a pop quiz that I don't think I did well on." I use the easiest excuse in the book. After he put my backpack in the car, he helps me in.

"I'm sure you did a great job. Is there anything that I can do to make you feel better?"

"No. I really just want to go home. Can we go home?"

"Yours or mine?"

"To my house, please?"

"Yes, Baby."

The drive is quiet. He holds my hand as the radio plays lowly. When we do get to my house, I'm nearly asleep. It's a near zombie walk until I cuddle up with my head on James's lap. He pets my hair while watching TV, and I crash to sleep.


	20. Wanted

_**/James POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Wanted - Hunter Hayes_

Sawyer curls up as much as she can, her head on my lap. She looks so pretty. Sleep is really a good look on , gosh. That sounds stupid. Ugh. Glad I didn't say that out loud. But, the peaceful aura about her is nice. My fingers run through the hair above her ear, over and over. I don't even bother with paying attention to the TV, the best thing that I can be viewing is right at my fingertips.

It really bothers me that something was wrong earlier, but she didn't wanna talk to me about it. The evidence was like a neon sign, but I didn't want to further upset her. After all, she is pregnant.

She's pregnant.

I know that she's really scared to give herself to me, because she's scared that I'm gonna back out on her. She needs to see differently though, I am not going anywhere. Neither is she, if I can help it. People may say that it's bonkers to date someone who's pregnant before your relationship began, but really I do not see any blurred lines or unrealistic situations either. She's going to have a baby and I'm going to be with her. I want her to let herself fall in love with me, because I'm in too deep and there's no way out.

I do love Thea. For quite a while actually. There's more than I just find her pretty, any one can tell her that, and it happens all the time. She is just a magnificent person. She's complicated and sometimes moody, but who is perfect? Maybe, I show too much affection; she just went through a really bad breakup. Maybe, she doesn't want a commitment, just a good friend. I'll be whatever she wants.

A small groan causes me to look down at Sawyer. Her eyebrows knit together and hands hold her stomach.

"You okay?"

"I feel sick."

"Do you need to get up?" I ask. She nods. For a moment she lays there, taking it slow.

"Let me help you." I stand and assist her. She holds her head, and walks to the bathroom then sits on the floor with her back on the tub and me right next to her. Nothing really comes of the nausea, just groaning and a headache.

"Why do you always stick by me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, no matter what mess that I'm in, you're in it too." She lays her head on my shoulder.

"Because, you're my girl."

"Why do you make me feel good about myself? It doesn't matter what mood I am sporting, you can change it in a second. I can't explain. In my whole dating life, of one person, I never quite felt wanted to the extent that you make me. It's just strange."

"I want to make you feel wanted. I'm glad that I'm succeeding. You deserve to feel that way."

"Why me?"

"Because, you're my once in a lifetime. I waited for you and now I want to treat you like you need and deserve."

"You're not even real." She half smiles.

"I am. I'm sorry you don't feel well."

"Thank you. I'll survive though. Maybe, hopefully."

"I got you." I take her hands and she rises from the ground. "So, I take it that you're not hungry?"

"No, but if you are, that's fine."

"I'm not, I just wanted to make sure both you and the baby are being taken care of. I just thought that pregnant women were supposed to eat a lot. You know, cravings and such."

"That comes later. At least I hope. It'd be nice to keep a meal down." I follow her as she walks back to the living room and sits.

"How is the little one?"

"Well, aside from moving around, there's not much else to say."

"You can feel the baby move?"

"Yeah."

"Can I feel?"

"You can try."

I steadily move my hand over and she moves her arms. Unsure of where exactly my hand should be, I place it over her belly button area. We wait a few seconds.

"Do you feel that?" She asks.

While waiting another second, I shake my head. "Nope."

"Hmm. Maybe, it's too early."

"When do we tell my dad?" I let that slip out.

"You want to tell him? What will he think? What if he wants us to break up?"

"I don't know, but we need to tell him."

"I'm really at a blank." She nibbles on her lip.

"Please, don't freak out. I just think that if we keep this from him, he might be offended."

"You're right. Mike does really like to be a part of your life. But, what is gonna think?"

"I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I'm still sticking with you."

Silence comes over the room as we both take a little time to think through things. I wrap my arms around her then kiss the top of her head. This is really a big deal, I know. She turns to me, so I take her by the chin and kiss her lips.

"When?"

"Whenever you're ready, M'dear."

"The sooner the better?"

"If that's what you want." I rub her arm softly as she lays against me.

"Is he busy tonight?"

"Probably just watching whatever sport is on. You want to do it tonight?"

"It might be best."

"Alright. I can give him a call." I take out my phone and call his phone. It goes to voice mail the first time, so I try again. The next time, he answers. He said that he couldn't find it, but did hear the ringing. We make small talk then gives us the clear to come over.

**_/After arriving at James's Dad's house/_**

"Hey, Dad. What's up?" We hug briefly when we come through the door.

"Nothing much. What's up, Kiddos?" He hugs Sawyer, who is wearing my sweatshirt. I hadn't noticed that earlier.

"We just have something we wanted to talk to you about."

"Alright. Take a seat." Dad takes his chair and turns the TV off. sit on the couch and wait for him to settle. I take my girl's hand to reassure her that nothing that might be said will affect how I feel about her.

"So, what's going on?" He asks, leaning on the arm of his chair.

"Dad, please, remain quiet until we're done."

"You have my full attention."

Sawyer's complete silence has me worried if she's still even conscience.

"You are such a good father. Through the years, I've learned countless and priceless lessons about life. You've shown me so much, never gave up on me, and helped me pursue my dreams. I can only wish the half as amazing as a father to my child as you are to me."

"Where are you going with this?" He doesn't necessarily interrupt me, there is a loll in the statement I am making.

"I want to be a good father, like you, to my child. I just wanted you let you know that I'm thankful for everything you've taught me."

"James, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I am to be a dad."

"But, you've barely been dating and you got her pregnant?"

"She is carrying my child."

"You're gonna be a dad? I'm gonna be PawPaw?" He looks shocked, but not mad or disappointed. Maybe, I need to look over at Sawyer to see if she's breathing. I'm pretty sure that she's not. I turn my head to her. Only pale, but indeed is breathing.


	21. A Love Without End, Amen

_**/James POV/**_

_Chapter Song: A Love Without End, Amen - George Strait_

"Sawyer, can I have a moment with my son?" Dad asks. I grip her hand a little tighter.

"Yes, Sir." She loosens her hold on me.

"Come with me, James." Dad stands and I follow him to where we stand out in the backyard alone. More and more becoming frightened thinking of what he could be thinking. Who wouldn't be?

"What is it?" I ask.

"Son, I want an explanation. Are you two playing a joke?"

"No, Sir. She really is pregnant"

"You got her pregnant?"

"She's is carrying my child."

"That's your baby?" He pursues. I tighten my jaw in frustration. He's figured it out.

"That is my girlfriend and that is my baby. That's it."

"I just want to know."

"What difference does it make? Are you gonna love the baby any less if he or she isn't biologically mine?"

"No, but it would be helpful to know what comments and jokes to avoid. I don't want to ask the wrong thing and offend her. I just want to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. So, tell me." He clasps my shoulder as I stand in shock of how quickly he put that together.

"How did you know?"

"I know you. You wouldn't have done this to Sawyer. You care too much about her. You would wait until both of you are ready and be more careful." He puts his hands in his pockets. "So, you're really gonna help her?"

"Yes. We've talked it all over."

"Well, then." When I see him smile, I pull him into another hug. Relief floods over me. "Looks like I'm gonna be a PawPaw."

"I don't understand. I quite actually thought you'd be livid with me and try to talk me out of it."

"No. You're a grown man, I trust you know what you're doing. You understand what you're getting into?"

"Yes. She and I had this conversation 10 times. I want to be there for them. I want this, Dad. I want her."

"I know you do. I know. You're a good person like that. But, it's a really big responsibility."

"I know."

"What about the biological father?"

"He wants nothing to do with her or the baby. He made that very, very clear. He even wanted her to get an abortion. How screwed up is that? I don't have to worry about him, because he's never coming back."

"How far is she?"

"Three, almost four, months."

"A baby is a big commitment"

"I know, Dad. But, I already love it. Please, Dad, just be on our side. We really need the support. Not too many people like the situation, but even if you are not, I'm still going to be with her."

"I never said that I was against it. I just want to make sure that you know what you're getting into. Let me tell you a secret about a father's love. A secret that my daddy said was just between us. He said, 'Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end.' Now, James, if you already love that girl and her baby, that's all there is to it. I'm glad you wanna help and not just leave her to do this alone. Are you ready to give the rest of your life to being a father?"

"How many times and ways do I have to say it? Yes! Yes!"

"Okay. Let's go talk to Sawyer."

"Okay." We both enter the house. Despite the happy news of Dad's acceptance, she looks pale as a ghost. Her right leg bounces nervously. I take a seat next to her again and Dad returns to his chair. I give Thea quick update on what just happened. She hugs me.

"Congratulations. This is really exciting news for the two of you. I'm excited."

"Thank you so much, Dad."

"Thank you, Sir."

"No. No. You can call me 'Dad' or 'Mike'. I rather insist now."

_**/On the way back to Sawyer's house/**_

"Baby, I can not believe how well that went!"

"I know. It truly didn't seem real. I can't believe that your dad just accepted this whole situation. I can't believe that you actually went through with telling him. It had to be hard." I look over at her in the passenger seat.

"Not really."

"You really seem to be taking this pretty seriously."

"I don't toy with girls. Especially, the one that I love."

"I appreciate it."

"Though, I do have something to ask."

"What is it, Honey?"

"Well, Valentine's Day is next week. I am wondering if you will be my Valentine."

"Oh. My heart already belongs to someone. I've not told him yet, but I need to. He's really a great guy. Never have I ever done anything in my life to deserve what he gives to me." She plays with the fingers of my free hand." I love you, James. I mean it. More than just friends. More than anything. Tonight, this just went to the next level. For you to tell your dad that you want to be with me and help take care of my baby-."

I pull the car over to the shoulder of the road and take her face in my hands. She's the one who leans in for the kiss. Her hand runs up into the hair on the back of my head.

"Be my valentine?"

"Yes." She replies and we smile at each other. Her eyes are a little red from stress, but none-the-less beautiful and sparkling. My thumb pets her cheek and she then leans her forehead against mine.

"I love you, Thea."

"I love you, Jamie."

My hand moves down to her belly.

"I love you, Baby." After I say that, she smiles and chuckles. "What?"

"You made the baby kick! You started talking and just, like, boom! There's kicking!"

"Really?"

"Yes. You can't feel that?" She asks. I shake my head. "Ugh. Well, it's happening. I promise."

"I believe you."


	22. Ours

**_/James POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Ours - Taylor Swift_

"Good morning, Tiah." I answer to phone before opening my eyes this morning. If she didn't have a set ringtone, I probably would have ignored the call.

"Do you live to just see how many nicknames you can make from my name? Anyways, good morning, Jamie!"

"Wow. Someone is in a good mood today." My head hasn't even left the pillow and the day is already better.

"I am. Guess what!"

"What?"

"Logan had his hands on my belly and he said that he could feel the baby!"

"Really?"

"He caused quite the ruckus. Called Kendall and now he's over here." She got out of breath from talking so fast. It's the tiniest bit adorable.

"I might have to come and experience this for myself."

"I was wondering if you would. I mean, I thought you might. That's why I called you."

"Well, I guess that I'll get dressed and get over there." After saying that, Kendall announces he feels it again. Both boys commence to talking over each other. They're probably smothering poor Thea.

"Okay, Jamie. I'll see you. I'm trying to eat, but I have a two 5 foot extensions to my body. I've got to beat them off." Her laugh is so contagious.

"I'll be over in a jiffy."

"Okay. Love you." She's obviously struggling with the boys, and laughs through that, but she said it first. She said that she loves me, without me saying it first. Okay. This is major deal. For me, at least.

"I love you too." We hang up and I wasted no time getting up. I have to resemble a mad man the way that I'm rushing around, but I am more careful once I'm driving in the car.

Excuse me for this high I am on, but this is really just amazing. For the longest while I thought that Sawyer really was too closed up to let anyone in. Honestly, she has been playing the part, we only had a title change, nothing else. Are we finally moving forward?

I am not going to push it though. The idea of this though is just amazing. I guess that she wouldn't really be worth the time if she could just bounce from one guy to the next. I'm glad that she's being cautious. I'll do her the same favor. I'll be cautious with her.

_**/At Sawyer's/**_

"I can't feel anything." One hand is around her shoulders while I wait to feel movements with the other.

"That's because you're not me, now, let me back." Kendall sits on Logan lap, placing his hand by mine. Sawyer must feel like a side show freak with all of our hands on her, but all she does is smile. Her arms are hanging around my neck to keep them out of the way of the entourage of people surrounding her.

"Hey, Handsome."

"Hello, Beautiful." We play with each other's smile, then I put my hand on her jaw and kiss her. We take a few moments to ourselves before Logan and Kendall shout.

"There it is!"

I immediately move my hand back to her belly, but nothing.

"Seriously?" Sawyer says. "It'll happen, I promise."

"I know. Maybe, she just doesn't like me."

"Oh, she?"

"Well, there's the possibility."

"There is, but there's a possibility that there's a boy."

"Alright, Smarty Pants. What time do you go to work?"

"In about 2 hours. I need to shower, but I don't want them to follow me in there. They have no shame, you know they would. What about you? What time do you go to work?" She perks up.

"I'll probably just drift in after you go to work."

"Awh."

"How about we get something to eat before we go in?" I keep steady concentration on my hand on her belly.

"You know me too well, but can I shower before we go?"

"Yes. Please do. Maybe these two will lose your scent and leave you be."

"We can hope for the best." We all release our hold on her belly and she stands. I can't help but watch her walk away.

Logan, Kendall, and I just talk about work and life. Logan even has to rough me up a little; warning me about being good to his sister. We all laugh; Logan lets on that he knows that I'm good for her.

It's not that I'm good for her; I want to be good to her.

_**/In the car/**_

"It has been like that all day! They're is driving me nuts!" She laughs from the passenger side.

"It's a happy thing. It's okay for everyone to be like that. I'm sure that I would be if I could feel." I joke.

"Yes. Well, maybe, you make them nervous."

"Stage fright? At 4 months? Uh huh." I nod sarcastically.

"Or, they're not ready for you quite yet."

"When they are, let me know."

"Sure thing." She giggles. "So, where are we going?"

"How about Panera?"

"Oh, man. I'm lucky to be in love with my best friend."

* * *

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

"Sawyer?" A young lady's voice asks. I set down the box of bras that I was putting back on hangers.

"Halston!" I step to her and we hug. Swapping pleasantries .

"You've gained some weight since I last saw you. Don't get me wrong. No. No. You look healthy."

"Well, that happens when you're pregnant." I had no intentions on bringing it up this early, but it kind of slipped out.

"Pregnant?" Her eyes bounce around as she thinks about it. "And, you're with James, right?"

"Yeah. Actually, I am." I nod and smile.

"I can't believe that you actually are pregnant. Especially with James's baby. I mean, he was always so particular about be so very 'careful'. Know what I mean? He always said that he didn't want kids until far into the further future. How did you manage to get this one by him? How did he react? Honestly, I wanna know."

Words can't begin to tell you how shook up I am feeling. "Well-. I mean it's was-."

"That bad? Woah. So are you still together?"

Just a simple nod is what I can offering. Opening my mouth may lead to word vomit or actual vomit.

"He's such a good guy. Honestly. Better hold onto him, I might snatch him back."

"I'll do my best to hold on him, but if someone else can take him; I don't want him." I fake laugh. She explains that she came to see me, but also searching for a push- up bra. We wandered around while she described what she needed and I knew right where to find it.

* * *

_**/James POV/**_

"Thea. I'm here." I declare as I make my way through Sawyer's house, moving to the kitchen where she normally resides to homework. As I come to find out, she's not there. Only after my trip around the den then up the stairs to her bedroom could I locate her. With earbuds in and music playing.

My lips press gently to her forehead. "Hey, Little Lady."

She releases a deep breath, wipes her hand across her face, and turns over to her side without acknowledging me. Work must've been killer busy. I move the pile of textbooks from the bed and take their place. Even if she's asleep, I just wanna be with her for a little bit.

The earbuds are slipping from her ears, so I gather them up and set them aside too. This causes her to stir; with eyes fluttering open just for a second, but that was enough for me see the redness of crying in them.

"Are you okay, Baby?" I place my hand on her leg.

She sits up, looking like to be gathering her thoughts.

"I saw Halston today."

"Ah. Well. That didn't answer my question."

"She said that you told her you didn't want children until later in life. Is that true? Because, I don't just want you to be with out of sympathy. Me and my baby don't need sympathy. Is it true? Did you say that?"

"Yes, I said that to her. To her. I didn't want kids with her. Not you. I can't wait for all this."

"This isn't just a game of 'House'. You can't just stop and go off then return to us when you're feeling like it."

"Where did you get such a stupid idea? I would never do that you. You're my best friend. You know that. I said that to Halston. Not to you."

"But, what's to stop you from freaking out and leaving me when I'm gonna need you most?"

Silence. Precision.

What I say next has to be carefully thought through, very meaningful, have to reverse the damage, and convince her that all of that was wrong. Because, she is the most important person in my life, and the baby is part of her, so I love him or her too. There's no way that I would give Sawyer up. No matter what anyone else has to say, this is ours. They don't know anything about what we share.

What can I do to make it, right?

"Sawyer. I want this now. I want you, me, and the baby. I want to be with you, because I love you. How many times and ways do I need to come up with to make it official? It hurts me that you don't believe me. And, you know what?" I lay my hand on her arm.

"What is it?" She looks up at me. This is the moment that I could see things from her point of view.

"Screw them. You don't need anyone. You are a strong woman. I know that. But, I love and want to be with you. No one can tell us how to feel. They've never experienced what we have. It's okay. It's gonna be okay too. You're one of my best friends; you mean a lot to me. And, it got even better; you agreed to let me be your boyfriend. I know that so far it's not been a real highlight, but I promise that it will get better. I love you, Sawyer." I take her chin and tilt her head back to look at me. "I love this little one." I place my finger tips to the front of her shirt.

"I know you do." She lays her head at the crevice of my neck, then I kiss the top of it. "I'm sorry for being dramatic."

"This is ours. Not theirs. We determine what happens." I felt her smile on my skin. "They can say anything they want to.; I will be here to tell you the truth. I know that there's a lot we have to face. Don't worry though; people like to criticize what is good."

Then, it happens. On the other side of her belly; little movements.

"Sawyer." I breathe out. "I feel her."

We both give a small laugh.

Her hands softly lay on my collar bone. A single finger reaches up to rub back and forth against my jawline. Our eyes meet. She cups my face, brings it closer to hers, and our eyes close when our lips meet. My hand that is resting on the back of her neck slides into her hair.

In these moments of bliss, the sky could start falling and I couldn't care less.

When we break, her arms quickly wrap around my neck.

"You should feel the baby now."


	23. Emotions

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Emotions - Ariana Grande_

"I have an appointment today before work. But, I'll see you after work."

"I can make it to the appointment."

"You can't leave the studio. I don't want you to get in trouble. Besides, it's just a routine check up. I'll call you after, while I'm on the way to work. How about that?"

"I mean, I want to be there but these deadlines are kicking my butt."

"I said that it's okay."

"Okay, Baby. I'm sorry that I won't be there. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Jamie. I'll see you at my house this evening. Don't forget, we're going out to eat with Kendall, Destiny, Bexley, and Logan tonight."

"I didn't."

"Okay. Okay. Just making sure. Have a good day. I really need to pay attention to the road."

"You're right. I love you, Sweetheart."

"Love you too."

"Bye, Baby."

"Bye, Honey." I click to hang up the phone. Within a few minutes I am parked in a space as I wait for a decent time to go in. I talk with Bex to confirm our dinner reservations and chat about miscellaneous things.

After ending the conversation, I slide out of the car and pull my shirt down over my belly.

Mental note; go clothes shopping soon.

I'm greeted shortly after entering the clinic. While there is some young girls, I am by far the youngest; the room is mostly filled with older ladies. I sign in and find a seat in the middle of a mass. A toddler plays with his shoes and a set of plastic keys.

"Hello." He looks directly at me. I cautiously turn to him.

"Well, hi." I give a confused giggle. He turns away to his mom and in the process drops his plastic keys to the floor.

"Uh-oh." His mother looks far too pregnant to even consider bending over to get them.

"I got it." I speak up and reach down.

"Oh, thank you so much." She smiles.

"It's no problem." I place the keys back in his hands.

* * *

It's like my face is stuck in a permanent smile. The slow elevator can not even ruin this mood. Happy isn't even a correct term for this feeling right now. It takes all I have not to break out in a full run when the doors open.

It doesn't take long to locate James. When he sees me, he looks blank at first, then stands up and leaves the glass room, dropping his pen and paper. Quickly making his way to me.

"Baby, why are you here? Is everything okay?" He asks when comes in ear shot. I don't say anything, but he hastens his walk and takes me by the arms when he's close enough.

"Sawyer, talk to me. Is everything okay? Is the baby alright?"

I pull the ultrasound picture from my purse and hold it out. "She's perfect." I break out in a smile.

James takes the picture and inspects it. "Did you say 'she'?"

"It's a girl." I nod.

"It's a girl! It's a girl! That what I always said we were having!" He has a moment where he looks back and forth between me and the picture.

"Oh, Thea." He pulls me in, wrapping his arms around my ribs, and spins us around. "A girl."

"We're having a girl." After that comment, he seemed to hold me tighter. "When? When is she due?"

"Towards the beginning of July. July 10th-ish."

"Are you even kidding me right now?" James's eyes are shining like Christmas lights.

"Nope."

"That's so awesome! Best birthday present ever! Woah. Who knows?"

"Just you. I came here. I didn't wanna just say it over a text or phone."

"I'm glad you came by." I step back to look at the picture with him. "This is our girl."

"It is." I rub my hands around my belly for emphasis.

"This is amazing, Baby. Really." His hand that was resting on my hip found it's way to my lower belly and he plants a kiss to my temple. Cold chills cover my arms but I feel a heat in my cheeks.

"Oh, shoot. I need to go or I'll be late for work."

"Please, don't go. I don't want you to."

"I don't want to either, but I'll see you tonight."

"That's sooo long though."

"It's not. Just work on your music and you won't even notice the time." I say.

"Eh." He snarls and starts to hand the picture to me. I shake my head.

"Keep it. It's yours."

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Baby." He smiles and gazes at it again. "She's absolutely beautiful. But, we already knew that."

I peck his cheek with a simple kiss.

When I return to the car, I break out with a terribly wide smile. The way I feel inside can not be compared to anything else I've ever felt. It's like I could fly if I wanted to.

* * *

"What do you mean that it won't zip?" I grit my teeth and try to hold my belly in.

"I mean, that it's not zipping! It won't go up any farther." Logan tugs at the zipper in the back of my dress.

"You've got to be kidding me." A pout consumes my face. "Bexley! Can you come help?"

"Yeah-huh." She pops into the room, putting her earrings in.

"It won't zip."

"Logan, you hold the material together and I'll zip." With a few pulls, it's closed.

"Bex. I love you. You're a miracle worker." I smile at her and slip into my sandals. The bag I'm taking over to James's is already waiting in the car, so mark that off my checklist. My purse, on the coffee table. Everything. Check.

* * *

Dinner was a breeze. I made the announce of finding out that I'm having a baby girl. James and I wait until we're at his house to do presents. I got us shirts that say "I love my crazy boyfriend" for me and one that says "I love my crazy girlfriend" for him.

He let me shower first when he got back to his place and after I went to lay on his bed with my copy of _Gone With The Wind _while he showers. The book is gripping. I read the pages nearly as fast as I turn them. Fox lays by my feet. It sounds terrible, but when James returns, I actually sigh.

"Can I finish this chapter?"

"Oh yeah. I need to take care of something anyways. Take your time." He gets on the bed, laying sideways. His ribs lay across my thighs then his hand circles around the baby bump. I take to reading the book again, but James begins to speak. Not to me though.

"To my baby girl , this is our first Valentine's day. You're not quite here yet, but you're already here in my heart. But, when you are here; you're going to love it. I'm going to teach you how to walk and then how to tie your shoes. You're going to love the Lakers, I'll be taking you to a lot of games when you're old enough. I'm going to teach you how play football and sneak cookies when Mama isn't looking. Fox is going to like you, I know. You two can run and play, then have to get baths for being so muddy. You're sure going to be in for it. Your mom already loves you to death and I'm crazy about you. I hope you know that you're very much loved. You and your mommy are my reason to wake up in the morning." He lowers his head to kiss under my belly button. "I can't wait to meet you, Precious."

Never have I felt like the way he's making me feel. I've never felt this deep before. No words to describe.

He comes up to the top of the bed and lays down next to me. I set the book on the nightstand and cuddle in close to him.

"Thank you for that."

"Don't thank me for the truth."

"I love you, James. Like, as in, I believe I'm in love with you."

"Good." His strong arms securely wrap me up and we kiss. "You think we should start thinking about names now that we know?"

"Well, I already have been. Just in the little while that I've known that he was staying. I have a few ideas."

"So do I."

We can't help but smile at each other.

"Love you, Maslow."

"Love you, Thea."


	24. For The First Time

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: For The First Time - Kenny Loggins_

There's no way that James is real. No one is this gracious and accepting, or just real. People like him just do not exist, but when he has me close to him; the feelings that I have must be real. My heart races but nothing soothes me as much as when I'm with him. I feel safe.

We're not saying much. It's not needed. He runs his fingers through my hair and looks me over. Everything about him is gentle; his touch, eyes, and breathing. I place my hand over his on my cheek. Those hazel eyes have only the dimmest mark of shine. Sleep could encompass him but not at this moment. This moment is for him to meet my eyes and give a small smile to make me smile back. This is like something out of a romance novel or something a teenage girl would write about their favorite pop-star doing to them.

Don't say something unless it's more beautiful than the silence.

His hand rests on the back of my neck, with fingers sliding in and out of my hairline. Our eyes repeatedly meet. We smile every time.

In no way did I ever expect James to make me feel like this. I never thought of him this way. Every thing we did, we were just best friends. Now, so much more. But, I'd do it all again, if it meant that I would end up here again.

For the first time, while looking into James' eyes, I feel like I see what can truly be. I can't believe how much I see now. It's like a whole new person has grown in front of me, but the same being. How could I be so blind to what was in front of me for so long?

His other hand finds mine and wraps it up.

It's all so strange. I thought that I would close myself off from the the world of love after Cyrus and with the baby, but here I lay. This man makes me feel like I understand what love is.

I touch his lips with my fingertip lightly. He kisses it with a smile.

All along this love has been in front of me.

"Baby." His voice is low, as to not disturb the peace around us.

"Yeah?" I smile when I meet his eyes. My cheeks are starting to hurt from the constant grinning.

"Can I ask you something? It's okay either way, I just think that I might as well ask."

I'm pretty sure that my temperature just went white hot. "What is it?"

"I've been thinking, quite a lot, that you can move in with me. I know we're still a new couple, but come on. We've been friends forever. I was thinking that instead of you having to drag clothes back and forth and worry about leaving your straightener; you could just bring them here. And, we-. " He looks like he's contemplating how to say the next words. "We can maybe set up a nursery for our girl."

I take a minute to process my answer. "I love your thought, but maybe, let's just wait a while."

"Okay. I do understand." I draw my knees in to cuddle closer to him. "I love you, Thea." He lays a warm kiss on my forehead.

* * *

**_/James POV/_**

_/The Next Morning/_

Today started out pretty awesome. I got to wake with a beautiful girl in my arms. We made breakfast together, then laid on the couch and ate while we watched two episodes of House M.D. Then, she got up to go take a shower for work. I have just began to clean up our dishes when I hear a groan resound from the bathroom. Curiosity leads up the stairs.

"Are you okay?" I knock on the bathroom door.

"No." Her voice sounds shaken up.

"Are you hurt?" I turn the doorknob, but it's locked.

"No."

"What's the matter?"

"My pants. They aren't fitting." If she were in my view, I'm pretty sure her eyes would be filled with tears. At the thought, a stifled laugh escapes my lips.

"It's not funny. I didn't bring any other pants. And, they won't zip."

"Well, Baby, do you want me to call Logan to bring over some pants?"

"No. I'll just have to go home to get some. Ugh. I think that I only have one other pair of jeans that are bigger than this. I'm gonna need to borrow your sweatpants to get home in. "

"That's alright. We'll see each other this evening anyways."

"We will? Did we make plans?"

"Just now. We're going shopping. You absolutely can not put this off anymore."

"You're right, but you do not have to go with me." The lock pops and she emerges still in my grey sweats. Kinda cute with her prissy ponytail and pink ribbon in her hair. She leans on the door frame.

"I want to. I'm sure that a priceless story is going to come of it."

She pushes my chest and scoffs.

"This isn't easy. And, rather hurts my back." Her finger points to her belly.

"I know. I just like to mess with you."

"I know. You're a jerk like that." She shakes her head, a smile creeps on her lips, then she puts his hand on my cheek and kisses me. "But, you're my jerk."

"That I am."

"I've actually been thinking about that job thing. About quitting the mall and finding something safer."

I nod. "What great timing. One of the managers is looking for an assistant. But all that really consists of is making sure their schedules are emailed to them and their clients once a week; you know, like, time managing stuff. The usual things like coffee, printing things, and keeping updated on what other artists are doing."

"Alright. I'll think about it."

She walks towards the bedroom in search of her shoes and picks them up where she left them by the side of the bed.

"Let me." I offer when she sits on the edge of the bed.

"I got it." She insists after sliding her socks on.

"I know you do." I squat in front of her, taking one shoes from the bed. Right then left and tie. When I look up at her, she's got one hand obviously feeling the baby. Without saying a word, her hand reaches for mine. Inside, a stirring can be felt.

"How does that feel coming from inside of you?"

"Terrifying. But, wonderful. Like, I am responsible for keeping this tiny baby safe but I know that it's all going to be okay. These little kicks are 'love taps' to let me know that perhaps I'm doing pretty okay so far."

"You're doing amazingly, Baby." I smile.

"Thank you. I hope she thinks the same. It's so strange that now I can can say that. 'She', Her', 'Daughter'. Guess soon she'll have to have a name."

"You can not name her after any fictional character that his classmates will pick on him for. Thankfully, we're not having a boy. I'd have no dog in the fight, you'd be naming him Bastion."

"Uh." She scoffs. "Excuse you. Bash is freaking gorgeous and is a gentleman. Unlike his father and brother who think women are objects."

"I'm not getting into another Reign debate with you."

"Oh! Ow." We say at the same time when we both feel a strong motion from the little one. I say for sympathy, but she actually has reason to express pain. She stretches a little to see if the baby would readjust.

"I guess we need to get on the road."

"I don't want you two to go. I want to lay on the couch and watch House Of Cards." I pout.

"Yeah. Yeah. Can I get some cheese to go with all this whine?"

"It's surprisingly really sexy when you're being evil."

"Hmm. I'm the devil in disguise."

"I don't doubt that."

"You're an idiot." She presses her palm to my shoulder to playfully shove me.

"Yeah. But, -. Yeah." The way she turns her head away to hide a blush is cute. When she bites her lower lip, I wanna kiss her. "You know, you really don't look so nervous when you bite your lip. You keep them open when we kiss. You're a hypocrite." Her jaw drops, knowing I caught her.

"Fine. You only get simple kisses from now on. Just a tiny peck on the cheek."

"Uh. I don't think so."

"Whatchya gonna do 'bout it?"

"This." I stand to my knees and press my lips to hers.


	25. Right Here

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Right Here - Hannah Montana_

"Oh, definitely. Lots of pink. Pink everything. Plus, you look so pretty in pink. I've always thought that."

"Mama. Let's not go overboard. I just need a few shirts, pairs of pants, and maybe a dress or two. Shirts mostly. Trying to keep this baby covered is turning out to be more difficult than previously thought." I sort through the rack of maternity clothes in front of me.

"So, how are things going with you and James?"

When Mama asked, I couldn't help but to hear an underlined tone of uncertainty.

"It's going great. He's so excited about the baby. We've brought up the name conversation. He even wanted to come shopping but I just couldn't handle him flipping out and wanting to buy everything pink. Instead I brought you along for that." I sigh at my mother, who has already gathered a galore of outfits. "Mama. Just a few things"

"You're gonna start growing pretty fast and you won't have time to just keep going out and getting new clothes. It never hurts to be prepared."

"If you say so." The cringing couldn't be helped. My mother is going to drive me up the wall with all of the sudden onload of motherly advice. I suppose that it's to be expected at this point though. For the longest time, none of us thought I was going keep the baby; all that time we had thoughts to build up as to what we could say.

It's going to be okay for here on out. I just have that feeling. With my family, James, and my baby; life is going to be pretty great. Even through the petty stuff, we'll make it through.

"I love you, Mama." I turn around and wrap my arms around her neck.

"Ah. Now, Darling. I love you too. But, don't you think it's kinda early for mood swings?" She pats my back.

"Never a bad time to tell your mom that you love her."

"You're right. But this isn't you wanting me not to wish your children are as bad to you as you were to me? I'm afraid that just called karma."

* * *

"Logan, I'm home." I shout and drop the two new bags of clothes by the door. "Alright. So, I spent the entire time practically having to tear every other piece of material from mom's hands. I forgot how indecisive that woman is. Why in the world did I ask her to shopping. My feet are killing me. Work all day, shopping for three hours. Have you already eaten?"

I give him a cushion of silence to respond but nothing.

"Logan?"

The kitchen, den, and our rooms are all empty.

I call his name again as I walk down to the basement.

Is it alright to start panicking now?

"Log- ugnf." I stumble over a certain brown haired boy in my path when walking around the corner. More confusion clouds my mind then as I squat down, remove his headphones from his ears and push the hood of his jacket off his head. "What are you doing in the floor, Sweetie?"

Not too sure I want that answer. No matter how bad things get, usually Logan can keep himself together. Whatever it is that has him on the basement floor huddled up and crying has to be disastrous.

Shakily, his hand moves to a picture on the floor. Before he can even reach it, I grab him up and hug him close.

"Oh, Logan. I'm so sorry."

"I just got to thinking about her tonight." His voice is so hoarse that those words barely make it out. "I always think about her, but just got to thinking about my regrets tonight."

"Nothing that happened was your fault. Don't start beating yourself up again." Feeling his entire body shake is nearly more than I can take. It's so pitiful. It's like trying to hold all the tin pieces of him together so they don't break off. "I know there's nothing I can say to comfort you, but just know that I won't leave."

He squeezes me while I try to return the favor. "I should've been there for her."

**_/Later That Evening/_**

"Yeah. He's sleeping it off now. I'm about to make some dinner and get him to eat."

_"Sorry that he's having a hard time. I can't imagine." _James apologizes from the other side of the phone.

"He just has to deal with it every once in awhile." I readjust myself and push off the couch to stand. "I hate that he carries that much blame. Ouh. I just can't think about that anymore or I'll start crying."

_"Let's talk about something happy then. How's my baby girl?" _

Oh yeah. Whenever James says 'his baby girl', he is not referring to me. At all. He 100% means the little girl in my tummy.

"She's hungry and very active for the last few minute. At least ever since I mentioned food."

_"Oh, great. Already taking after Uncle Logan. Only moves when food is involved."_

"Oh my-. That is altogether too true. I think I'm gonna use that pizza crust that we have and make Logan the BLT pizza. Fry up some bacon and cut up some lettuce."

_"Are you sure that you're just not having a craving?"_

"So what? Logan eats like a pregnant woman. He's gonna love these next few months."

_"For sure. He's not even gonna notice the change though. Just that there's food more readily available. But, hey, while I have it on my mind, you said that you had a few names picked out. Did you wanna talk about any of them?"_

While I begin to prepare my pots and cutting boards, I put my phone on speaker phone and set it aside. "Well, I guess. Did you have any in mind?"

_"Just a few."_

"Well, let's hear them."

_"No. I wanna hear yours first."_

"Don't be so punchy about it. Alright. Let's see. I really like Audrey, Evelyn, Adaline, and Naomi."

_"What? Are we naming her after someone from the 20's? How about something more hip? Riley, Reagan, Braelynn?"_

While listening to his suggestions, I start to pull dinner together. Believe it or not, I spend more time discussing names with James than prepping the meal. I'm wanting something a little more older and uncommon and he wants to make a new name or use a typical boy name. Not because he wanted a boy, in fact, he always said that we were having a girl from the get-go; but he thinks it would be cool.

After a bit, we hang up. The dinner has be ready before I go attempt to wake Logan. Maybe I could even leave this pizza to bake and run to the store for a cheesecake or something like that.

"Thank you." A very groggy voice sneaks up behind and spooks me. Not gonna lie, I about near peed myself. "For earlier."

"I didn't do anything." I turn around with a hand resting over my belly.

"Don't do that. Just accept my gratitude."

"You don't have to thank me for doing what I was put on this earth for; to be your sister and to take care of you."

He takes a seat at the table. "But, I appreciate it."

"No matter where I am, if you need me, I'll be right here."

"And the same for you, Little Bit." He smiles faintly. For second there's silence, seeing as it is that I'm not sure what I need to say. "How is Baby Bit?"

"She's great. I think she likes when I cook. Whenever I do, she just seems to be real still, as if she doesn't want to disturb me."

"You do always look so relaxed and concentrated when you're cooking. Maybe she has that same feeling."

He isn't completely back up to normal, but we're working on that.


	26. Time Of My Life

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Time Of My Life - Bill Medley, Jennifer Warnes_

James and I have been on several at-home dates but never officially 'gone out'. Being the man he is, James has arranged a meeting out away for just us. So, I stand pacing at the door.

I hear a knock.

"Did he really?" I smile then bite my bottom lip.

"Little Bit, you look amazing." Kendall loudly whispers.

"Absolutely fabulous." Alexa and Carlos returns with two thumbs up. I quickly slip my shoes on then walk over to the door.

"Hello, Good Sir." I joke.

"Thea." He takes in my appearance. He acts like he's truly stunned. He looks rather fine too, if I say so. "You look very pretty."

"Oh, stop it. Would you like to come in?" I play a good hostess.

"Actually, I was thinking that if you were ready. We could get a move on. But, not before I give you these." He pulls a bouquet of red roses from behind his back. I take them.

"Thank you. Give me a minute to put these in a vase." I depart from the scene and slip into the kitchen. It took a few minutes, but eventually a vase was found and I put the roses in. Then upon my return to the living room, James is waiting to escort me out the door. He holds his arm out so that I could take it. I blush when I feel his muscle flex.

"Now, you will have her back by 9:30. Right?" Logan takes in the father roll.

"Yes, Sir. She will be safe with me." James replies.

"O.M-. Shut up, Guys."

"And if anything does happen. You have 3 brothers waiting to take you out." Logan crosses his arms over his chest, showing off his muscles. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"Do you live to harass me?" I ask.

"Go on. But I'll be waiting up for you."

"Bye. Love you, Guys." I blow a kiss around the room, then James takes me out of the room. We walk silently together to his car.

"I know you're not one for fancy things, so I set up a few things that I believe you'll like. "

* * *

I lay back on James while placing a hand on my belly and rubbing around. The sounds of the water crashing against the dock underneath us makes for a good, soothing soundtrack.

He kisses the top of my head. "Is everything alright?"

A simple nod is my answer. Words seem too heavy for the light, airy environment. Just not when he talks. When James has something to say, it's like he's reading a script perfectly planned for each moment.

I think I forgot something important. James and I are best friends, have been for years. Yet it seems that I set myself back. The reason we got together was because we could just be us with each other. He's not going to hurt me. I know.

The smiling face above glances down at me.

"You think that I'd be okay at being a dance instructor? The dance studio that I always go to is talking about starting a toddlers class. How about me being the next Abby Lee?" I run my fingers through his hair.

"I think that's great."

"Really? It's something I'd enjoy and I could handle teaching babies the basic names, moves, and techniques of dances."

"You'd probably be really great. It's really good that you've given that some thought. But, are you hungry?" James inquires as he massages the top of my head.

"Not too terribly. I rather feel bloated."

"You look it. Is it a new diet? Retaining some water weight?"

"Oh gosh. Shut up." I sit up to shove his shoulder, but fall into his embrace laughing; resting my face on his shoulder. "Rude."

"I know. I'm sorry." His chuckle shook his shoulders slightly. "You're beautiful. Beautifully pregnant with my baby girl. Who I can't wait to name, meet, and raise with you."

"Is this name thing really bothering you?" I lean back to look at his face.

"Not too much. Just would be nice to know for nursery purposes. Which have you given that any thought? A theme?"

"You certainly have."

"Yeah. What about like a little castle? A mini chandelier, pink everything, and bedazzled everything else."

"Uhm. Not that I don't like that one, but do you have any other ideas?"

"Garden, Under The Sea, Nautical, woodland creatures, and the castle ideas are the only ones I have. I probably should have had more."

"All I had in mind was animals."

With a shake of his head, he lowers his face to face my belly. "You have the most unprepared mother in all of history. She never plans more than a week in advance. It looks like this is going to have to fall back into my hands, Baby Girl."

To watch his eyes, you'd think that he was actually gazing into someone else's. Grinning from ear or ear and laying his lips against the top of my showing baby bump. It's like watching a child get a new toy.

"I love you, Baby Girl." He whispers.

"I believe she really loved you too. She can tell the different tones of your voice. When you're loud, she moves a lot. When you're just talking normally, she moves enough to be noticed. She shares your emotions." I lead his hand to where movements can be felt. "Say something to her."

* * *

We step onto the front porch and I gently open the front door. All through the house, the lights are turned off.

"Well, I guess this is me." I look at my door; trying not to laugh.

"Ah. Now I know where to go next time. I got a little confused tonight trying to find it."

"Next time?"

"Yeah. Don't you want to do this again?" He suddenly becomes troubled.

"Of course, but it depends."

"On what?" I bite my lower lip hoping he would catch on.

"Nothing." I shake my head realizing how stupid that was and I start to lean into the door.

Just as I was about to step in, James span me around. His hand gently caressed my neck, making a shiver go down my spine. He stepped closer, and as best that I could see in the dark, he was looking at me. I leaned on the door frame so that I didn't fall backward. I ended up backed against it. James slightly leaned forward, waiting for my permission to continue forward. I put my hand against his chest, slowing moving it to hang around his neck. He took that as a positive sign, and moved two inches toward my face. The light shining in from street lamps reflected in his eyes. I could tell that he was looking me deeply in my eyes. I take a turn this time I take a turn to move forward. He presses his lips against mine so gently. He leaned in closer to deepen the kiss. My whole world is spinning faster than anything possible. My head feels light.

Warmth floods me inside. My heart is nearly beating out of my chest, and my tummy is filled with butterflies and few flutters from the baby too. I've never felt anything like this before. We break apart, and I'm speechless.

"Thank you for tonight. It was the best time of my life. Good night, Jamie." I smile and walk into my room.

"Goodnight, Sweetness." He jokes before I shut the door. My fingers gently tap against my lips.

"Woah. You're really good at that." I whisper to air pretending that I'm talking to James. I change into my PJ's, and lay quietly on my bed. I can't sleep. That was too exhilarating. Kind of like when he on accident grabbed my hand in the theater that one time. My heart could possibly burst out of my chest. I grab my pillow and giggle into it.

Sure we might have kissed before but nothing like this.

* * *

_**/Logan POV/**_

I know my mouth is gaping wide open, but I can't shut it. James just kissed my sister. They didn't even see me. I was sitting on the couch, all the lights were out, and they didn't see me.

"Carlos? Kendall?" I ask with a squeaky voice.

"Yeah?" They sound as horrified as me.

"Have you ever seen either one of them like that? I never have." I manage to say. I hear the boys exhale.

"Yeah. I never seen either one of them so... in love." Kendall admits with a tone that hints at defeat.

"You think that they really love each other?" Carlos asks with all concern.

"Sure looks like it." Kendall replies.

"Am I losing her?" I ask.

"Logan. She's your sister. You'll always have her. Not even her husband is going to replace you. That's how siblings work." Carlos asks.

"I don't know. Did you see that? Plus, I just feel like I need to be her bodyguard and be extra protective of her because of the baby. I don't want her to get hurt. She's been hurt enough. What if he chickens out and leaves? What if he cheats?"

"What if he doesn't and he's the best thing that ever happened to Sawyer and the baby? You know that he and Sawyer are best friends and you know that he's crazy about that baby." Carlos stops me in place. "Think about the situation is reverse. When you get married, is your wife going to replace Sawyer or Pres?"

"Never." I shake my head.

"See. That's how it works."

"Really?" I ask as I run a hand through my hair. There's silence as I let this nights events soak in. "I mean, we've took care of each other for so long that I don't know what to do. She's still my little sister."

"Come on, Big Man. You need to sleep on it." Carlos clasps his hand over my shoulder.


	27. If I Could Turn Back Time

_**/Cyrus POV/**_

_Chapter Song: If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher_

"So, you don't think your family would approve of a baby, but the drinking and smoking is alright by them?" Grams sits on her rocker next to me and continues to knit on the craft she's currently doing. Looks like a scarf. I'm occupying my time with a crossword book.

"They don't pay that much attention to me. I'm just a mild inconvenience of a free babysitter."

"If you're so miserable, why don't you leave?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go."

"Sure you do. I still have the keys to my house and still have ownership. How about I turn it over to you? Make yourself a home; maybe one for your baby too. You should try to make amends with her, Cyrus. That's your baby. Your first baby. Don't you want to be there for your child?"

"It's not like it matters. She has someone else who she's happy with."

"You didn't answer the question."

"What?" I readjust my body to lean back in the chair. There's no playing dumb with Grams. Her eyes can pierce through anyone's soul. "I don't think that it would do any good for that baby to be around me. I smoke and drink. My baby shouldn't be around that."

"Then change that."

A faint smile crosses my face and I look up from my word puzzle. "I think that you just want your hands on that baby."

Her hands drop to her lap and she gives me a terribly mean glance. "I think you're full of it. I'm trying to tell you that I'm not going to be around forever, but before I go, I need to know that you're gonna be okay. Take the house, get your baby, and be happy. You can't tell me that you don't love that girl. Several times you've told me that you wanted to marry her someday. Not that you have to be together forever, but you two are going to be having a child together. It'll be nice to have you around for her sake." Grams stops talking and reaches into the drawer. When her hand retracts, she plops a set of keys on my lap. "I love you very much, Dear. Always remember that."

"I know you do." I take her hand and hold it for a second. "I'll make things right with Sawyer. I promise."

"Thank you. I'll make a few calls and get everything straightened out for you." Her eyes are enough to guilt me into anything. "Oh, goodness. You look just like your father sitting there."

"You think so?"

"I do."

With that I get up and wrap my arms around her neck. "I just wanna make you proud."

"You always have, Baby. You don't have to anything special to prove yourself."

* * *

_/Later That Evening/_

At this point, I'm not really sure if I'm doing this for Grams or if it's for me, but either way I've got a place of my own. Might as well get started on it. Don't think that there will be any objections about me moving out. Aria will possibly miss my presence, but mom will probably just get her a puppy.

"Home, at last." I push the door open. By the window is the evidence left of my last visit here; bottles and cigarette carton with one still left in the pack. In the back of my car are a few supplies I picked up to straighten up the house. It's only a one-story, two-bedroom, one-bathroom home. It shouldn't take that long to get it orderly again.

Maybe this alone time is what I need. With all the dust going outside, hopefully so will the bad luck in my life.

"Holy-. What was that?" I jump when a bark sounds off in the garage. Another bark, a yip.

**_/Five Minutes Later/_**

"Oh, Sawyer." I casually offer a greeting then jump into what I need. "I may need your help. This dog showed up at my grandmother's house. It's in pretty bad shape. Do you think you can help me? I'm not sure what to do. Or even how long that it's been here."

She seems a bit taken back at first. "Is it hurt bad? Any bleeding? Do you need to go to a vet?"

"I don't know. It just looks very starved, maybe a hurt paw; I don't know."

"I'll be there, after a quick run to the store. How badly is it hurt? Like is it bad?!"

"It just looks severely hungry and keeps licking it's paw."

"Be there in 15 minutes."

* * *

"Cyrus. Goodness. What happened? I didn't know what was needed so I just brought a little bit of everything."

"I don't know. He, or she, I'm not sure, was there. Definitely very hungry. But, also kinda looks to be hurt. Do you think you can help me?" I walk her to the garage area and over to the hurt pup.

"Oh-uh." Her face scrunches as she squats down by the moaning dog.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Now shh." Her legs cross beneath each other Indian style then reaches out to pet the dog's head. "Hi, there. You look kinda hungry. Open me a can of the wet food."

"Alright." I fumble around the bags until I find a plastic bowl and a pop-top can of food. "Don't get bit. I can do it if you want. I don't want you to get hurt."

"If you'd like to help, you're more than welcome." She scoots slightly over, giving enough room for me to sit closer. I start to hand feed the over-starved dog. The pup lifts it's head attentively towards the smell of the food and takes a few licks, then begins to eat.

"So, you don't have any idea how long that he's been here?"

"No clue."

For just a few minutes, we sit with the silence watching the dog lap at the food with not too much energy but quickly as possible. Next, Sawyer lays down a bowl of water then scoots against the wall; patting the empty space next to her for me to follow.

"Cyrus, what were you doing here? At this house."

"Grams gave it to me. Asked me if I wanted to make a place to raise my baby, to make a home. I accepted. And, before you fly off the deep end, I know that it's not just gonna be simple or easy. But I'm gonna work real hard and prove to you that I am willing to do anything to be a part of our baby's life. No, I'm not going to want James out of the way, I respect your decision to be with him."

"Are you gonna try to take care of him? Do you think that you're capable?" Sawyer shifts slightly to move her back.

"What?" I jump with shock.

"What?"

"Are you talking about the dog or our baby?"

Her eyebrow arches then her hazel eyes roll back. "I was talking about the dog. Beside, I'm having a girl."

"Oh." While failing at trying to hide the smile that wanted to break loose across my face, my mind fills with images of a little girl to match Sawyer. "Congratulations. That must've been very exciting for your mother."

"You have no idea. Everything pink imaginable."

"No. I can imagine. And, I haven't seen you around lately. Not working?"

"Actually, I have a new job. Teaching dance to toddlers."

"I bet you love that. How's that working with college?"

"It's fine really. I get out of class at 3:00; have to be there at 4:40. Pays pretty alright too."

The fake conversation is getting awkward.

"I just can not stand the thought of not knowing her, Sawyer. I have to know my baby."

With just a simple touch of her hand to mine, she puts them on the side of her belly. Underneath her skin, thumps and bumps rattle around. I'm not even sure what she was trying to accomplish with that little stunt, but all I can think is that I'm the cause (and daddy of) that.

"Do you feel that, Cyrus?"

"Yeah. That's pretty amazing. She seems so strong already."

"That is a real person. You do realize that? When she gets here; she's gonna want fed, held, gonna poop and pee, need diapers, and have medical bills. A real person that is going to have real needs."

"Yes." I put my other hand on her stomach. "I'll do anything. Do you have any pictures of her? Does she have a name yet?"

Obviously Sawyer is reaching the point of being uncomfortable with my hands on her, but neither she nor I pulled away. She only reaches out for her phone to go through her gallery and turns the screen towards me.

"No name yet, but here's one of the latest pictures."

I'll proudly take the title of 'Having The Most Dumbfound Look Ever' on my face.

"I can't believe we actually made a little person."

"Actually I am."

"I know." My eyes flicker back and forth between the picture and my hands. "But, she _is _partly mine."

"I'm beginning to think you starved this dog and locked it away so you could lure me here. That or you might really be serious about all of it."

"I'm so serious." Due to my respect for her, I reluctantly withdraw my hands. "I did need your help with the dog, but I wouldn't have found him if I hadn't been here to fix up the place, so that when I have visitation; we'd have a home. Don't start on me. You don't have to socialize or even talk to me, all I want is to help with the baby."

"This is a big responsibility."

"I get that. What else in the entire world could I possibly do to let you know? The only thing left to do would be to turn back time. If I could, I would. In a second, I'd take back all those things I said that hurt you. Now, don't mistake this for a romantic mush or plea for you to return to me. I thought if I ignored you that maybe all our problems would go away. My intentions never were to hurt you. I never wanted you to walk away. When you walked out, I swore that I didn't care, but I lost everything that was ever real to me. I have no idea why I reacted like I did. All those thoughts of being scrutinized and 'punished' by my ... parents; all the speech of being tied down scared me more than anything. But, the funny thing is, I have never been more free. You struck a chord when you told me that I didn't have to be like _him._ Just the thought that I could drove me even further away. To treat a kid like a punching bag-rag doll-servant-babysitter, who can do that? That's all I have ever known. What if I were to screw up that badly?" My shift gazes over to see if she is even listening. Apparently she was because tears rolls softly down her cheeks, bottom lip refraining from trembling. "I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"

Her voice is so low that I have to lean in to hear. "That's not the only thing that you've known. Your dad, your real dad, was there for a while. And, I think it was long enough to leave enough of him with you. I'm sorry that you've suffered, but you can make the cycle stop now. Obviously, your stepdad was treated the same way that he treated you. This doesn't have to continue. I know it won't."

Gnawing on the inside of my cheek seems to be the only response I can muster up. All that she's doing is twiddling her thumbs; not even acknowledging that her phone buzzed more than three times in the last five quiet minutes. The tears collectively make a wet spot on her shirt over her belly.

"Do you think that maybe, I don't know-. If I make a promise to straighten up, get all of this together; that I could help you with the baby? I'll fix her up a room and it looks like now we've got a dog. Of course, I gotta get him back to health."


	28. Used To Love You

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Used To Love You - Gwen Stefani _

Anything and everything Cyrus might be trying to say right now is going in one ear and out the other. Tears, stupid tears, keep rolling down my cheeks. They won't stop.

It's hitting me all of a sudden.

I used to love Cyrus.

This guy was my whole universe. I had a future planned with him. We were gonna get married in that little park by the swings, our honeymoon was to be in New York, and then get a house near my brother's. At least three kids and a few pets.

For the first time since I started hating Cyrus for all that he did to me, I remembered that I used to love him. How can you have so much with someone; a whole lifetime planned, and lose it all?

"Are you gonna be okay?" He leans forward to look in my eyes past my fallen hair. I look up to his beautiful, blue, shimmering eyes. He used to have my entire world at his feet and played kickball with it.

Then again, I guess, nobody ever taught him how to love. Really love someone. His example of a marriage was two people who were mildly inconvenienced by each other for money. Not that it was always like that. At first, his mother just didn't want to be alone and when he stumbled upon a wealthy man; she saw the life of luxury that could be hers and it ate away her soul.

I thought that I was the best thing that happened to him.

I thought he loved me the most. That's what he always said.

"You keep the hard work, Cy. Okay?" I place my hand on his knee. "I'm proud of you. It couldn't have been easy to come back here."

"The house is full of memories, I think it's time to make a few new and happy ones. If you'll let me."

"You're not just doing this to please your Grandmother, are you?" I gather my belongings and slowly stand. "I lost you once. I don't think I could do it again. Not like I am. Not in this situation. I'd love to be around for you, I'd love for you to be around for her, but you're not going to treat my baby like a yo-yo and be a 'sometimes-there' parent. This bouncing back and forth will stop. You will be here or not."

"That's my kid. Of course, I'm staying. I made my mind up. Geez. Do you give James this much flack?" He stands up and wipes his hands on the back of his jeans.

"James never gets through a single say without me asking him if he's actually going to stay with me. He's done more for me and this baby than anyone and still I can not shake the feeling that he's not staying. No matter how much I push him away; he just holds onto me tighter."

"How romantic. Keeping you against your will." Cyrus rolls his eyes.

"Oh yeah. I'd rather have a man that would rather freely give away his family to be with me than a man who couldn't have his pride hurt because he couldn't grow a pair and be a man!"

Now nearly face to face (on the note that my belly kept a distance between us), the arguing ensued.

"You didn't act like a human! You went out of your way to make my life miserable! You don't even know how much I just longed to become invisible so that I could get through one day without feeling like ripping out my own heart because watching the only man I ever loved treated me like I never meant anything to him! You didn't even care about the person you created!"

"The day you fell, when I admitted that everything was my fault, that wasn't enough?!"

"I was done with you by then!"

"That was the moment I actually felt something for our baby! I realized then and there that... that..." He loses momentum while searching for the word. "I realized that a little part of me was with you."

"I'm leaving now. I feel too sick to deal with this. I hope your dog gets to feeling better." With another glance to make sure I have my things, I walk towards the door and he follows. "Just don't. I need some time."

* * *

"Hey, Little Bit." Logan greets me when I get home. "Not staying with James tonight?"

"He's out at a party. Said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to, it's at some bar. Him and his music friends. It's okay though. I got 3 tests to study for." I carry myself as best I can through the house to my back bedroom and start the shower while starting to undress.

Wonder if James is gonna get home anytime tonight. I was wanting to tell him about my night, but now actually thinking of it; probably not the best idea. Innocent as the interaction started, it did end with Cyrus getting sentimental on me. James would most likely feel belittled. Which he shouldn't, but me showing up to Cyrus's house alone seems a bit suspicious.

Cyrus said that he wants to be a part of this baby's life. I can't deny him a role in his child's life, but how can I know he's being totally serious. Why would he trick me at this point? He's lost everything.

He lost is friends and separated himself from his family.

What else does that broken man have to lose?

I'm sure at first James won't take well to the idea of letting Cyrus back in our lives, but it's not really his say is it? Cyrus is this baby girl's father-.

Who am I kidding? James has been more of a dad than Cyrus has been so far. James deserves respect for all that he has done for me and the baby. I guess this will just work out like any other divorced family; very complicated.

It's not a bad thing to have so many people wanting to be a part of my baby's life. The bad thing is trying to find the balance and having to try to make sense from a situation that is making itself more insane each day.


	29. Stand By You

_**/James POV/**_

_Stand By You - Rachel Platten _

It's really hard to have a good time tonight. I mean, it's fun, but Thea hasn't bothered to call or text for hours. Of course, there's the possibility that she is actually asleep, but that's not really likely. My girl is more of a night owl.

_"Another round?" _

"Nah. I think I'm done."

_"The night is barely beginning. Come on stick around." _

"Maybe another night. Just got too much on my mind to relax." I lay a twenty dollar bill down then reach for my jacket.

_"You know, ever since you started dating this secret girl of yours, you've hardly had time to hand out with your real friends."_

"She's no secret. And, I just want to go home. Have a fun night, Fellas."

_"Yeah. Whatever."_

_"Catch ya later."_

"See you at the studio tomorrow."

Trying my best to hold my temper, I get to my car and turn my phone screen on once more to check for notifications.

Nothing.

Great. My girlfriend is mad at me, now my friends are.

Sounds like all my other relationships. After the friends start disliking the girl, the girl gets upset, lots of fights, and boom. End of relationship.

Of course, this is could all just be an overreaction. In fact, I'm positive that this is nothing.

But might as well make sure.

"Hey, Logan. I'm gonna come over for a while, is that alright? ... Okay. See you in a bit." I throw my car into DRIVE and take off.

* * *

**_/Later That Night/_**

For all my worrying, she lays there wrapped up in the covers in a deep sleep. Perfectly cuddled up to her pillows. It may come across a little creepy, but I am just drunk enough that driving over here was a bad idea, so staying sounds just about right.

I sit down on the bed, kick my shoes off, and turn over to wrap my arms around my girl.

"James?" She pats around, trying to open her eyes.

"Sorry, Honey, didn't mean to wake you."

"What-what are you doin' here?" Obviously fighting sleep, she begins to fall back to sleep but jumps when I speak up.

"We'll talk about it in the morning. Go back to sleep."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Baby, go back to sleep." My face nuzzles against the back of her shoulder.

But not for long, she kicks the covers down off her legs and sits up; letting my head rest on her chest. "Don't get me wrong. It's very sweet that you couldn't wait to see me, but you are supposed to be with your friends, aren't you?"

"Just wasn't feeling the party scene tonight. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

Okay. It's not a whole lie. She wasn't responding, anything could've been wrong.

"I thought maybe you were mad at me for going out. When you weren't at my house, that really worried me."

"Honey, I don't live at your house, I'm not just gonna be in your space all the time. That would be annoying."

"No. No, it wouldn't." Not sure if I'm saying that to reassure her or me.

Her hands pet my hair softly, occasionally scratching at the back of my neck.

Man, this feels really good. Then I tilt my head back to look at her.

"I was scared that you were gonna think the worst of me and possibly want to leave me. I needed to prove to you that I'll always choose you. I don't wanna lose you. Waited too long to have you to just lose you."

A slight rim of tears line my eyes.

Yeah. Those drinks definitely are sinking in.

"Thea, you and our baby are my number one priority. But, before you, I never had to worry about anyone but me. Now, I need, want, and worry about you all the time. There will be times when I'm not sure what to do, but I'm learning as I go along. If I ever make you cry or let you down, there's nothing I won't do to make it right. Promise, you will always be my girl. You are always gonna be my best girl. Don't ever let me go."

"You're crazy, James, and over-dramatic. Maybe a little drunk. I'm fine. We're fine. I just didn't know if you were gonna bring the party back, so I let you have some space. Why would you think I'm mad? If I was mad, I'd let you know. Trust me. I want you to go out and have a life. If we were to be together all the time, we'd drive each other crazy." She raises her arms to get up.

"Please, don't let me go."

My arms tighten over her hips.

"My friends think I'm keeping you a secret from them."

"Are you?"

The thought never crossed my mind. I hadn't meant to keep her hidden away.

"Maybe. Unintentionally, for your and the baby's safety. I didn't want to put any stress on you."

"You're being a little silly. I'd walk through Hell with you. I love you. Oh, James. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but don't. I promise, I love you." She kisses the top of my head. "But, I do need to pee. This baby has settled on my bladder."

With that statement, I touch my hand to her belly.

"I can't feel anything. Is she okay?"

"Yes, she's just sleeping... Why don't we arrange for your boys to finally meet me? Let's make it a party. At the beach. Bonfire, coolers, food, and lots of loud music. It'll be good for you. Relieve some unneeded stress. We'll have everyone together. It'll be nice." A small laugh. "They're probably going to be so disappointed. They thinking you're harboring a major babe, but no. Just me being majorly pregnant with a baby."

"No. I just think they'll be majorly impressed that I actually have someone. Not just lying to get out of hanging with them. Seriously, for a while they thought I was making you up until my car started smelling like you and having some of your stuff left in there. Like your make-up, shoes, bra."

"When did I leave a bra in your car?"

"The wire started to come out of it, poking you, so you just took it off."

"Aahh. I wondered what happened to that bra. Oh, that reminds me of the time a few years back, we were just running around and my flip flop broke. So, we went through your car and only found one flip flop, magically the one I needed, so I walked around with two different flip flops for hours."

"I remember that day. That was when we went to the aquarium and you yelled _'Steve Irwin murderers!'_ at any sting ray we saw. And I couldn't pull you away from the octopuses."

Honestly, I didn't want to. She was so excited and the look in her eyes, I never wanted it to go away.

"Who'd have thought that 5 years from that day, we'd end up together. Two goofballs like us."

"Not that I knew, but always secretly wished that we get together."

"Really? Even back when I was a chubby teenager?" She wrinkles her nose in disgust then kisses the top of my head. "I know one thing. You've always been my best friend and continue to be. I love you, James."

"I do love you, Thea."

"Let me go pee." She taps my arms to release the grip and slips away. I stretch out and gets under the covers.

There's a lot to think about. Yes, here's me admitting that I was over-reacting, but let's be honest; this hasn't been a bad night. We broke through some walls.

* * *

**_Sawyer's POV_**

By the time I get back from the bathroom (and sneaking a snack), James has fallen asleep. I cuddle in next to this beautiful man of mine. He's already in such a deep that even by my petting his cheek, he doesn't stir.

How lucky am I?

Who would have ever guessed that my best friend who be the one. It sounds so cheesy and stereotypical. But I can accept it in this instance.

Man. He's so pretty. It actually makes me smile to think that I'm dating someone prettier than me. Who, when dressed in drag for the tv show, made a prettier girl than me.

I can not believe how lucky I am.

He wants to be with me and waited for his turn. Even though it meant that he had to take over where my last relationship failed.

I have no doubt that James is the one I've waited for.

* * *

_I wanted to give James more humanity and realness. Wanted to show that he even might have insecurities. (Not that he needs too. The man is freaking gorgeous.) So. I'm so sure how this chapter will go over with you guys. Just give me some feedback on it. Did you like James letting his guard down or not? _


	30. That's What Makes You Mine

_**/James POV/**_

_Chapter Song: That's What Makes You Mine - Heffron Drive_

I'm awoke when the body next to me wiggles and rotates sides. My eyes heavily open to see if everything is alright, but the daylights are shocked out of me when a pair of eyes are already looking at me.

"You scared me." My voice is husky from just waking.

"I'm sorry." She, on the other hand, sounds like she's been awake for a while. The sun is partially peeking in the window behind the curtains. A tiny ray shines in and lays across her shoulder, illuminating her eyes.

"_Good morning, Beautiful. How was your night? Mine was wonderful with you by my side._" I half smile while serenading my girl.

"Can I get some wine to go with all this cheese?" She laughs. "That was so cheesy."

"I know."

"Did I wake you up?"

"Sort of, but I needed to be up early anyways. My alarm will probably go off in 30 minutes. Why are you awake?"

"Why do you think?" Thea readjusts again, this time to lay on her back. "Because, Addie is awake."

"Addie? Since when did we start calling her _Addie?_"

"It's just just something I'm testing out. It's catchy. Anyways, she's a bit of an early riser."

"At least, she's not keeping you up all night."

"No, that'll be when she's actually here. And, then you'll have a turn of waking up early, sleeping when you can, going to work tired, and then trying to sleep at night. It's exhilarating really. You're gonna love it."

"I will. It's not fair that you get to have her all the time."

"Well, I'm sorry. I'm only nurturing and growing her at the moment. Would you wanna be responsible for that?"

"Seems terrifying."

"It is. But, I don't have to worry. You have got me quite the diet. Once I have this baby, I am never eating salad or yogurt again."

"Like you said, nuturing. I am doing my part to make sure that we have a healthy baby."

"I appreciate that." She kisses me. "I'm gonna go get ready for the day. You try to get a little more sleep." Her legs slide out of the blanket onto the floor as she sits up.

"Don't go."

"That was code for 'I'm hungry'." She takes a few steps to her drawer and pulls out a tee shirt and some jeans that her mother modified for her wear while pregnant. Even though every one loves old jeans, they look like if a strong gust of wind were to blow, they'd completely fall apart.

"Why don't you wear the clothes I bought you?"

"You just hate my pants. You have jealousy issues."

"You've had them since you were fifteen. They look like something a homeless person would wear."

"I've had you that long too. Should I get rid of you as well?" Her playful argument face comes to play.

"No. But, you've got better looking clothes than that."

"You still have that purple-ish cardigan from years ago, the Aqua Man shirt too."

"Both of which you often wear. I don't wear your jeans."

"Yeah. But, that's not my problem." She shrugs and laughs.

"Love your reasoning."

"I know." One last smile before she exits the room. The bathroom door closes. I give her a hard time about those pants because I quite actually love them. She looks her best with her hair a mess, no make up, and plain clothing. She looks nice when she's dressed up and made up, but I really prefer her natural look. She's just a different kind of beauty.

"I don't get white wedding dresses. One spill of drink or drop of food and the dress is ruined forever. My dress will have to be colored. A white dress would not survive on me." Her voice floats from downstairs which probably means that she's now watching Say Yes To The Dress. I don't get the deal with the show. Spoiled rich families making scenes for their 15 minutes of fame.

I get up and go to join her. She's in the kitchen, making breakfast while the TV plays. Logan sits at the table already looking hard at work on his laptop.

"You know there's such a thing as pancake mix." I walk up behind her.

"But, you know that I don't like box mixes."

"But, it's easier." I should know better than to have this conversation. She's never one to make thing easy. "Put something healthy in there. Blueberries or something."

"Why do you gotta spoil my fun?"

"I'm not. Blueberries are very fun and delicious." I open the refrigerator and locate the berries then wash them off to give to her. Reluctantly, she puts them in the pancake mix.

"You know, you're actually not my type. I don't go for the health nut and fitness types. I need someone who wants to eat copious amounts of Chinese and the only marathons ran are ones on Netflix. I've never even stepped foot into a workout gym. I'd rather watch serial killer movies and you wanna watch educational documentaries."

I wish I could laugh at the expression on both Logan and Thea's faces.

"We just don't make sense. We don't work on paper. We're so not right, but that's what makes you mine." I don't even realize that I've said it until it's out. She turns to me after flipping the pancake over. My mouth opens to correct my statement as she walks closer to me, but to my surprise, she wraps her arms around me. "We're the definition of improbable, but I'm never gonna let you go."

* * *

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

"James, are you ever coming back? I wanna finish the episode before you leave."

"Excuse me, but I 'fast' isn't exactly one of my speeds right now. I have a head ache."

We nestle back on couch and resume our episode of _The Originals_. We started watching the show this morning after breakfast and had a little time before we had to start our day. Not that I am complaining. It's rather relaxing.

"Oh my word. There is the vampire version of you. Elijah Mikaelson and James Maslow are one in the same." My jaw drops.

"What? I missed it." He looks up from his phone.

"Hayley was pulling ice cream out of the fridge and Elijah took it back and made her eat something healthy. Sound like anyone?" I nudge him with my foot; only earning a chuckle while he glances back at his phone.

"I do it because I love you." He turns his head and gives me a kiss.

"Yeah, but I still am a big girl and can decide what I want to eat."

"But, what you want isn't healthy."

"While being healthy is really important, but having extra weight is too. It's healthy to have a few extra pounds."

"Not to be obese."

"I have no fear of that happening while I'm with you." I readjust to release pressure from my hip. "You take excellent care of me."

"Thank you." He takes my hand. "Wanna go out come to studio with me right quick, before you go to work"?

"That does sound nice. You really want to?"

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it. Who knows? You could write awesome, new song for me. You've inspired a lot."

"Really?" That slips out from between my Cheshire cat grin.

"Don't act so humble. No one else '_makes the sun shine through the storm, makes my cold world warm. Fits my hand better than my favorite gloves. The ones my heart loves_'. No one else. Just you."

"Did you write that?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so lucky." He leans in as I do, so our heads bump against each others. "Ouch."

We laugh.

"So, to the studio?"

"Yes. Do I have to wear special clothes? Hat turned backward? Flashy, dollar-sign jacket?" I crack.

"Oh shut up." He nudges my arm. "You're not gangster thug. But, you however do look lovely. In my Rolling Stones tee shirt and those 1980 over-alls."

"Shut up." My hand covers his mouth. "Kendall's mother gave them to me, along with other maternity clothes. They're very comfortable."

"I've offered to take you shopping for months and then you just want someone's hand-me-downs?"

"It was a nice gesture and they're already worn to comfort."

"Go get some shoes on. I'll go start the car." He smile and stands then helps me up.

* * *

"This is where the magic happens?"

"It is." James flips the lights on; revealing the instruments, sound booth, couches, paper and pens, food, drinks, and just about everything you'd expect a music studio to look like. Though it seems more like a club lounge than a writing and music studio. "Sorry for the mess. Everyone seems to like to leave a mess. They're probably messes themselves right now."

"It's fine. We should get used to messes."

"You're right. We are expecting a baby."

"Expecting one. It could a velociraptor." I joke.

"Ah ha. Very cute." He rolls his eyes. "Bring your gorgeous self and my baby over here. Come on. You can take a listen to what I've already recorded. Hopefully, it's decent."

"Don't act so humble, Mister I've-Sold-Over-Millions-Of-Copies-CDs. No matter what you do, your fangirls are going to swoon and rage until they get it."

"While I appreciate the fangirls, there's one girl I want to make swoon harder than the rest. Give me a minute and I'll let you hear. Take a seat."

"I'm alright. Our velociraptor is on the move." I place my hands on the back of his neck and gently massage. He opens the laptop that resides in the studio for the time being, entering passwords, and clicking through files. I want a closer look at the art that hangs around the room. Not too much of it makes sense, but is interesting to look at.

While standing there with my arms crossed and resting on top of my head, a soft tune begins to play and long, strong arms wrap around my rib cage.

"This is special. Just for you." He kisses my cheek.

I listen as James' voice vocalizes on the track.

"_Here we are, safe at last._

_We can breath a sigh, it seems the storm has passed._

_Through it all, no one knew_

_That all the tears in Heaven, would bring me back to you._

_No one I know, imagined we would make it._

_But it only matters that we both believe._

_You and me, we're a miracle; meant to be_

_And nothing can change it._

_Mountains move_

_And oceans part_

_When they are standing in our way._

_You and me, we're a miracle;_

_Angels stand watching over us._

_And Heaven shines upon us, everyday._

_Every time I felt near defeat,_

_You were there for me, oh_

_By my side completely._

_You give me strength, ohh.._

_You set me free... hey yeah yeah_

_It's just because of you, ohh.._

_I'm all that I can be, ohh.._

_When I'm with you, the world is ours to reach for._

_Together there is nothing we can't do. Ooh ooh.._

_You and me, we're a miracle; meant to be_

_And nothing can change it._

_Mountains move_

_And oceans part_

_When they are standing in our way._

_You and me, we're a miracle;_

_Angels stand watching over us._

_And Heaven shines upon us, everyday._

_The chance was so unlikely_

_That we would ever be._

_Two stars among the heavens._

_Destiny brought you to me._

_You and me, we're a miracle; meant to be_

_And nothing can change it._

_Mountains move_

_And oceans part_

_When they are standing in our way._

_You and me, we're a miracle;_

_Angels stand watching over us._

_And heaven shines upon us, everyday._

_You and me, We're a miracle (miracle)_

_You and me, We're a miracle (miracle)_

_Miracle._"

Before the second chorus, I am in tears. James softly sways me, knowing that he's dealing with pregnancy emotions. He doesn't treat them like that though. James knows better and is much better than that. He won't belittle me for a stereotype.

"What did you think?" A whisper breaks the silence.

"What words can compare to that?"

He just holds me close for while.

Have you ever just been so happy to be around someone that words aren't adequate?

"Sawyer, will you move in with me? I want you around all the time. I think it would be best for our baby too. I guess what I'm saying is..."

You could tell he was nervously searching for words.

"Yes, James. We can start packing tonight." I hug him tightly.

* * *

_ I actually have had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Showing James and Sawyer's differences, instead of their compatibility._

_Author Note: Yes. I used Christina Aguilera's song (We're A Miracle), but come on. It's so perfect for our love birds! What even is our shipping name for James and Thea? Would you all like to help me with that and suggestion a few? That would be awesome. Alright. Much love, Dearies! Xoxo._


	31. Raised On It

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Raised On It - Sam Hunt_

Work is definitely going great. The toddlers program hasn't started yet, so I 'tutor' other intermediate dancers; putting together pieces for them to practice and some just need tuning up, like learning to point their toes correctly and facial expressions.

"Your 1:30 called in. They can't make it."

"Alright. So, until the 4:30 gets here, let's work on music and choreography for the teen group." My co-worker nods and tosses a file on papers onto the floor.

"Okay." I sit in the swivel chair at the desk and open up the laptop. From the twirling motion, my stomach feels slightly queasy so I hold my belly.

"I talked to the instructor and it's a lyrical piece. Two slow songs for duos, one solo, and a group number."

"Alright."

He plays some music lowly from his laptop. We have about 5 feet between our desks along the wall. I'm assistant to Chandler. He's in his late 30s with short, blonde hair; an average looking guy. As far as work friends, this guy is pretty great.

"How far along are you?"

"I'll be 5 months next week."

"Congratulations. I just ask because I'm not sure if you've already had a baby shower, if I need to get you something, or if you have everything."

"Yeah. No. I have not, but you don't have to get me anything. You're very sweet though."

"Have you picked out a name?"

"Not officially."

"Well, aren't you the prepared one. Do you have a boyfriend or a husband?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"You're so vague. Acting like you have something to hide. Never talking about your personal life."

"It's not anything against you, but letting people get close to me isn't one of my stronger attributes. What you think about "Cold-Hearted" by Paula Abdul for one of the duos. It's not slow but very great for dancing."

"I already see it." He scribbles the title down on a sticky note. I flick through my music once more to find a good song. "So, I take it you've been hurt before. Maybe losing a best friend or something, maybe a past boyfriend. Wait. Not going to judge, maybe this boyfriend doesn't like you having guy friends."

"James isn't like that." I give a laugh then mentally slap myself for saying his name. Been trying to avoid that for the same reason James was dodgy about telling his friends about me. Mutual protection.

"Oh, so he has a name! That's great."

"You know what, Chan. James and I are having a party tonight. Why don't you come? I'm meeting his friends, I can bring at least one for him to meet."

* * *

Heading home is a good feeling after having to deal with stranger's screaming children. James and I began living together 1 week ago. School has become a no-go. I dropped out. Between all that's going on, there's a lot of tension, but somehow James manages to always find something special for us to do. So far, we're loving it. While we do have more going on in our life, we haven't changed. We are just us.

"James. I'm home." I shrug my backpack and purse into the floor. "I'll get changed and then we can head over the party."

"Come upstairs. Spare room, Honey." James speaks up with a laugh to follow. Curiosity is eating away at me. The spare room, one of them and the one that he's speaking from, is next to our bedroom. I push the door open and drop my jaw.

James's face lights up nearly as bright as mine.

The walls are freshly painted a nice storm cloud gray, the room has nice pink accessories; the crib, gliding chair. White pillows and cushions adorn the room as well.

"It's not finished, but nearly. The rest will come together easy. The chandelier hasn't arrived yet. Over there we'll put her dresser..."

We I had joked about making a nursery, but I didn't think he would jump head first into it. He even praddles on with future plans for the room.

"I don't even know what to say. But, I absolutely love it!" I look around the room again. "It's so perfect. I can't believe I have someone like you that cares about me. It's so hard for me to comprehend."

"You're doing the party for me, I wanted to repay you." James walks over to stand by me to view the finished project. "I'm glad you like, but we got to start getting ready or we'll be late. I got you some new clothes. They're on our bed. Why don't you got pick out something and take a shower? Let me know if there's anything else I can get for you, okay? I'm gonna shower downstairs."

* * *

"I can't believe how well these shorts fit. You should shop for me more often."

"Told you. On another note, you look excellent. Are you ready?" He smiles as we try to anticipate the scalding hot pavement.

"As I'll ever be." I fling the car door open, holding onto the supplies, and we hurriedly shuffle.

"That is seriously too hot." I giggle as James and I dash for the sand on the hot concrete. "Told you we should have left our shoes on."

"I didn't want to have to keep up with them all night."

"Well, let's enjoy our evening. I'll give you a little head warning, the boys can be rough and inappropriate. Especially when they're drunk. That's why I didn't plan on bringing much alcohol, but that doesn't mean that they aren't bringing some."

We both breathe a sigh of relief when we reach the beach.

"Chill, James." I wrap my open arm around him and he returns the favor as we walk down the sand pathway to where Logan has already come to set up. "I'm not going to break up with you if you're friends aren't family friendly. They just won't be able to be talk around the baby."

My lip pucker to his cheek.

"Will you two stop being so in love? It's gross. Possibly contagious. Think of others." Logan looks up from his lounging chair.

James laughs as he goes to get the cooler that we forgot in the car.

"Jealousy is an ugly thing, Big Brother." I gently kick the leg of the chair to fold under itself then watch Logan slide backward. "And, so are you."

"You look just like me. You can't insult me without insulting yourself." He gets up to fix the seat and shoots a mean look my way, but decides to come help me set out the snacks. "So, what's the deal? Is this a publicity stunt? Gently easing your relationship to the world?"

"What? No. No. No, no, no. This is just a uniting of our friends. Getting to know the people that make each other who they are. Hey, Logan, can I borrow your snap back? The sun is kinda overheating me, kinda feeling a little sick." I fan myself with a hand while he pops up to place the hat on my head.

"You okay?" He holds my shoulders.

"Yeah. Just need some shade."

"Here's the umbrella." He picks it up, quickly opens and stands it up. "Need something to drink?"

"No. Don't fret over me. But, thank you. I'll be fine. Just sit with me for a minute. The heat has been throwing me for a loop lately. It passes."

We sit side by side, awaiting James's return.

"You know what I thought about? How long have we been coming to this exact spot?" I ask.

"Wow. It's been at least 10 years. At least since we met Kendall and started hanging out. We kinda claimed this little dock area."

"A lot of memories are here."

* * *

"So, you're saying you don't like the name 'Adaliese'?"

"No, no. It's good. But, what kind of middle would go with that?"

"Fine. We'll name her after my favorite princess."

"Aurora? That's pretty nice."

James and I stroll hand in hand down the beach. The sun has gone down some, the wind is whipping around, and life all together just feels great. Well, except for the fact that we're having such a difficult time with picking out a name for our baby.

"I meant the 'Briar Rose' side. But, yes, Aurora is her princess name."

"Briar. Now I do like that. But, what about next week when Ariel is your favorite princess?"

"Oh goodness. You're right! Ariel is a wonderful name. Ariel Esmeralda, I like that a lot! What about Perdita Marie, after my favorite Disney animals! There's also; Jasmine Belle, Melody Jane, and Alice Megara. Oh, James! We could name her 'Lady' or 'Duchess'! Wouldn't it be cute?" I try to contain my happiness, but all the possibilities are overflowing.

"We are going to have to decide soon. 'Danika' is an idea I had earlier. What do ya think of that?"

"I love it." I bring us to a halt. "Honestly. I promise that has always been a favorite of mine."

"Well, okay, Danika. It's rather beautiful for one of the prettiest girls yet to be born. Is it decided then?"

"Yes. And, our favorite middle name has always been 'Avery'."

James bends down on one knee.

My heartbeat about beat me senseless, it feels like I can hear it in my ears.

"Danika Avery. What do you think? Would you like that name?" He presses his ear to my belly. A helpless smile takes over my face and I place my hand on his head, giving his hair a gentle toss. "You sure? It'll be for the rest of your life. ... Okay. Okay... If you're sure."

He rises again to face me. "She's cool with it."

* * *

**_/During The Party/_**

"You having a good time?" I sit down on James's lap, feeling the warmth of the fire on my legs.

It's takes him a second to answer, seeing as he's taking in his surroundings. If words or escaping him or if he's coming up with an excuse, I can not be sure, but the smile made me believe either way. "I'm having the time of my life. How are you getting along with everyone?"

"I'm on my best behavior."

"You know what I meant."

"Yeah. Well, while they're not particularly my cup of tea, I don't mind them. I mean, they're your friends. The people you go to when you need space away from everything else. But I don't have a problem with them.-"

"You look awful pretty tonight. Well, -."

Neither of us really knew what happened, but of a sudden, a fight broke out.

"Whoa! Whoa. Calm down." I throw my arms out between the two brooding men.

"So when you said that you had to help your mom with something, did you mean that you were helping her realize what a-."

"Chandler! Calm yourself." I shout.

"Yeah, _Chandler._" The second guy says with a little spite. It's one of James's friends."Calm yourself."

"Do not speak to me. I am not addressing you. This is between me and her. You weren't man enough to -."

And the first punch flew.

I intercepted before another could be thrown, but in doing so, I knocked backwards a little. With a small stumble, James catches me. Though not before my arm went into the flames.

"Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry, Sawyer." Chandler becomes so petrified that I believe he could pass out.

Both boys bend down to offer help.

"Get away from her." James warns everyone back. "Are you alright?"

"Now, James, don't be so rash. I'm fine. You caught me. It's all good." I straighten up and try to act like my arm isn't singed. "Now, let's act like adults, if that means cutting back on our drinks, let's do so. Have a good time and enjoy the company; or go home. Got it?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I'm sorry." The men nod with looks of shame on their faces. I leave them with a look of disappointment, James tagging along beside me giving a much meaner look. Why did this have to happen? It's been a really great time, now James is going to be in a mood for them getting rough around me.

At least the party restarted itself.

"Come on, Baby. There's a first-aid kit over at the table."

"Are you okay, Little Bit?" Logan comes up behind me.

"Possibly."

By the look on their faces, I wasn't getting out of going to the hospital. Some of the skin did get caught on a log, don't know if it might require stitches. Alright, I'm not gonna fight him.

"Do you think you could take me to the hospital? I mean, Logan can, these are your friends, it'd be better for you to be here."

"No. I can come."

"Please stay and have a good time. I just want to make sure that this get cleaned up and make sure no stitches are needed. We might possibly come back. Depends on how long the hospital takes."

"No point in arguing with you when you've made up your mind." He kisses the top of my head. "Text me, keep me updated."

"Will do. Love you."

"Love you too, Baby."

Logan pulls his keys out and we head away to his car.


	32. Carry On My Wayward Son

_**/Cyrus POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas_

I pace and wring my hands while pacing the length of the hospital waiting room. A few people asked if I was a first time father, and honestly I felt guilty to shake my head and tell them "No." Finally a doctor approaches me, telling me the information that I absorb.

"I don't understand. She was fine the entire time we were walking, then she sent me to-. I returned; tha- that's when she was having trouble breathing. What happened? Will everything be alright?" Trying to shake the the quiver in my voice is harder than I thought.

"Mr. Blake, I know you're scared. Your grandmother's lungs have begun to fail. It is no surprise with all the smoking she's done. For right now, we're gonna make her comfortable, but the time she went without breathing may have had an effect on her brain. That's all I can say for now. If you would like to go home, get some rest, and return tomorrow; there might be more to tell."

"I'll wait right here. If there's any development, everyone can find me here."

"What did you say your first name is?"

"Cyrus."

"Alright, Cyrus. I understand you want answers, but for now there is none. You'll just worry yourself sick if you stay here. I'm sure that your grandmother wouldn't want that."

"She's all I have. I have to be here for her. I won't go."

"Your family would probably like to know what's going on."

"They don't care. If they did they wouldn't have stuck in that nursing home!"

"Lower your voice, please. If you're not going to leave; at least go outside and clear your head. Take a moment and call someone. I've got to go, but don't just sit here and worry yourself a ulcer." She walks away.

What kind of family values would I have if I were to just leave? She has always been there for me. It made no difference if I had a cold, flu, or a broken leg; she came to take care of me. What if she starts to go and asks for me and I don't make it back in time?

The doctor said to call someone. Who in the world would talk to me? Mom's at work, Phil doesn't care, and Aria is too small to have a phone. Everyone I know hates me.

* * *

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

"Is it just me or is it that every time a couple comes in to learn how to dance for their wedding, they're dressed completely in spandex? Like, you're not going to be wearing that, you need to learn to dance in a 30 pound dress and a ill-fitted tux."

"Most people are stupid."

"If I get married, I promise that I won't be so flashy. No big ceremony, no $5,000 dress."

"So, are you and James getting married?"

"I hadn't given it much thought. I highly doubt that after I shove eight pounds out of my body that I'm going to look very marriage worthy. James will probably freak actually." I turn in my chair to look at him, in doing so, I lean on my freshly stitched and burned arm. Not wincing is the hardest thing I've ever done.

"You know that's not true."

"I know."

"He loves you, I could tell by how frightened he was when you fell. Which can not stop apologizing for."

"Would you stop? I'm fine. And, what's the deal with this new guy that's supposed to be starting tomorrow?" I hold a hand to my belly as I reach to the floor for my purse, because I believe my phone is ringing.

"Not sure. All I know is that he's going to be working with you." He turns back to his computer while I locate my phone. Once I find it in the side pocket, I see that the caller ID reads _Cyrus_.

"What in the world? What demon possessed him to call my number?" I ignore the call and , too, turn to my laptop.

"Who?"

"My ex-boyfriend."

"Oh. The - uh- baby's father?"

"He biologically fathered Danika, yes." I sigh and set the phone by my keyboard. It beeps with a voice mail. "Let's see what the creep has crept today."

My phone notifies me that I have six saved messages (they're of James) and one new message.

_"Sawyer." _Cyruss voice is cracking and definitely sobbing as well. If this is another plea to get back together. _"I have no right to call on you like this, but I need you. I-I-I don't know if Grams is gonna make it. She's here at the hospital, I'm here with her, but they aren't letting me see her. I didn't have anyone else to call. You're the only person who cared for her like I do. I'm so scared. (He breathes heavy for a few seconds) I'm sorry." _The phone message ends.

"Sounds like you need to go."

"Thank you, Chandler." I snatch up my belongings and leave.

* * *

_**/Cyrus POV/**_

"Cyrus?" A soft, yet intent, voice beckons me. Even through my blurry eyes, I see the woman who called for me. Her brown ringlets pulled back in a ponytail and the purple shirt with a white cardigan buttoned just above her pregnant belly.

"Sawyer." I barely whisper. She spots me and resumes walking towards me. "I'm so sorry. I came as quickly as I could. Have you heard anything about Grams?"

I shake my head and she sighs as she stops in front of me.

"They still haven't let you see her?"

Again, I shake my head.

"Give me a minute." She takes leave and walks to the nurse's station. Even in pregnancy, her frame is small, but the way her hands are flying; she's got the power. She's always been that way.

"Cyrus, are you coming?" She speaks before two minutes have passed.

I hop from my chair and race over to her. "I can't believe you."

"They can not deny family from seeing their family." She shrugs her shoulders. We follow a nurse, who looks like her shift needs to be over, down passed a few doors until she pushes it open. Inside, an oxygen machine noisily does its job.

"Grams?" I ask.

"Cy?" She has a hard time catching her breath.

"Shhh. Don't speak. It's alright." I take her hand.

"Hey, Grams." Sawyer waves from the door frame.

"...Come... In.." Grams says to me.

"She says that she wants you to come in."

Yeah, I want you to stay too. This is the only time we've seen each other that we've not started yelling.

She comes over to the side of the bed, taking Grams' other hand and sits.

"Hey, ... Sweetie..." She croaks.

"Hi. It's so good to see you. It's been a long time."

"Not since... the baby."

"I know. I know. But, what do you think? You're gonna be great-grandmother."

I have no idea what's gotten into Sawyer , but Grams nods and smiles. I've been stunned into total silence.

"Ouh! You should feel this. She's moving." She softly moves Grams hand over to her belly.

"When?"

"I'm due July 15th. I'm five months right now. Just four more to go. Would you like to see some pictures? I have some on my phone." She pulls her phone out of her pocket and shows Grams pictures of our daughter. Honestly, it's the first I've seen them too. It's really something else.

For about 15 minutes, they let us stay in there with Grams, but eventually told us that she needed rest.

"I'll have to come see you more often, but you better get better. Love you, Grams." Sawyer starts to push up from the chair, but just can't get the gumption to actually get up. I walk over and offer her a hand. She pulls as I, too, pull her out of the chair. Once on her feet, she presses a hand to her back for balance.

Grams just smiles as big as she can. No doubt wanting to laugh. We hug and say our goodbyes to her and head out the door.

"Thank you for coming. I really didn't expect that, but you really made her day."

"You're welcome. And, I do care for her. So, I was glad you called."

"Of course." I nod.

"So, let me know if I can do anything or if there's an update on her. But, I've got to get back to work."

"I will." I feel like an idiot, but I can't form complex words.

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

I watch her turn and walk away, then take my seat in the waiting room again. Promising to leave soon, but for a moment I would love to revel in the past 20 minutes. I know I was supposed to be focused on Grams, but there was Sawyer. So pretty. Did you hear what she was saying to Grams about being a great-grandmother? She acted as if we were still together. Not letting on one thing about James or anything. And, when I got to help her stand, I got to hold her hand. I got to hold the mother of my child's hand again.

Woah.


	33. Running Wild

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Running Wild - Jules Larson_

"Okay. How many times do I have to say this? I didn't go for him. I went to see the old woman, whom has been outcasted by most of her family. She has done a lot for me. I do care about her." I reinsert my toothbrush into my mouth.

"You know that he was giddy with joy over the fact that you spent so much time over there. Don't act like he wasn't." James stands in the doorway of the bathroom, arguing with me as I get ready for work. I spit out the remaining tooth paste foam, rinse my mouth, and stand to face him.

"I didn't even say 10 words to him. I basically walked in, saw her for 20 minutes, and went back to work. Why are you wanting to pick a fight this morning?" I walk by him to go back to our room.

"I'm not. I'm just trying to figure out what you were doing around that jerk."

"I wasn't there to see him! I went to see his dying grandmother! Alright?"

"He's probably telling everyone and their mother that you two had a heart-to-heart and undoubtedly are getting back together. Hopefully, he doesn't start showing up at your family's houses."

"What is your deal?" I sit on the bed to slide my scandals on, but not easily due to the baby between my breast and hips.

"My deal is that he wants you. Badly. And, it drives me insane."

"So what? You don't have enough trust in me to believe that I won't go running back?"

He sighs and stutters around his answer. "I don't know."

I laugh in disbelief. "Well, later. I've got to get to go."

We cross paths again and he tries to utter an apology while rubbing his brow line. "Riley, you haven't even ate breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." I snatch up my dance bag and leave.

**_(Once at work)_**

"Stairs. Why does there have to be so many stairs?" I moan, out of breath.

"Come on. It's not that many to go. You're almost to the top." A lightly accented, male voice speaks up behind me. Truthfully, it's only 20 steps, but I'm in a foul mood. Plus, I'm hungry.

"When you're me, any steps are too many."

"That may be so." He chuckles. I stop and turn back to see my new acquaintance. "Hello, I'm Gilbert. Gilbert Porter Quinn."

He holds his hand out and I shake it as he comes level to me. "Hi. I'm Sawyer Theaphilia Henderson."

"And, who is this?" He gestures towards my stomach.

"For the moment, Dani-. Daniella Avery."

A last minute change. I like that a lot better.

"That sounds like a nice, strong name. It's nice to meet you. And, since you're the first person that I've met here, could I ask you for directions? I'm afraid that I have no idea where I should be going."

"Yeah. You're the new guy, right?"

"Yes. I am."

"That's cool. You'll be working with me. Just follow along." Our ascent up the stairs resumes.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. So, I'm having a hard time placing your accent?"

"French."

"I should have known. Paris is a bit of a favorite thing of mine. Mainly because of Audrey Hepburn."

"Ah. A classic woman? That's so refreshing from all the Kim Kardashian wannabes. Not that I discriminate, but it seems that most young girls that idolize those types of women want to show all that God gave them."

"What can I say? Modest is hottest. Nudes are crude." I joke.

"Very true." He opens the door into the building and holds it. Honestly, this guy must have been produced in a factory where gentlemen are made. "Did you start dancing before your child or for your child?"

"No. She kind of happened along the way. Happily. I'm just following a dream of mine. What made you start?"

"My sister. She had leukemia and she always wanted to be a dancer, so I dance for her."

"I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it. It must be difficult."

"It was at first, still is sometimes, but I have to think about her to remind me why I keep going."

"That's very brave, Gilbert. Oh. Here we are. This is our class. But, I was wondering something." I take a seat at the rear of the room, that's where the air conditioning is just perfect.

"What would that be?" He stops short of the small table. "May I sit here?"

"Of course." I nod. "How can you be so polite? You're so unreal."

"My mother raised me properly."

"I agree. So, after a meeting yesterday, I learned that you will be focusing on teaching the boys how to lead, showing them proper stances and the whole shebang. I will take over the girls, teaching them the same. It'll make training a lot faster and easier. First, we work on ball room dancing. Waltz, Tango, Viennese Waltz, Quickstep, and etc. These will be youngsters, so this will require patience. Today, I want to start with a practice with you. A basic Waltz."

For a while, we lay out plans on how we want our future class to flow, even take some time to choreograph some simple steps. He tells me of how his little sister loved to watch him dance and how every performance is dedicated to her.

Honestly, how could one not fall in love with this man?

_**(Back at home.)**_

"You would not believe how courteous, smart, and cute this new guy in my class is!" I rant to Jordyn on the phone. "His name is Gilbert Porter Quinn. He's French!"

"So, you're saying that no matter what, he can only make French toast?" Leave it to her to make that corny of a joke.

"Yeah. That's exactly what I am saying. Anyways, if he's single; I'd try to get you two together."

"Can we talk later? Someone is calling in."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Buh-bye."

I click to hang up. The house is quiet since James nor Fox are here. If he's that mad, I might not need to be here. Being where I am not wanted is not one of my favorite things.

"Let's finish our book." I sit down on the couch and open my purse. My copy The Demonologist (Gerald Brittle)lays on top. Per usual now, I prop the book on my belly and read away.

It's quiet, not peaceful though, for 30 minutes. I hear keys jingling in the doorknob, but do not bother to look. Simply due to the fact that I have nothing to say to him. If he picks another fight, I'll just go to Logan's.

James enters the house, Fox running and jumping on the couch beside me as he does so.

"I didn't think you'd be home so soon." He states. I'm assuming that since I didn't respond that he keeps moving along. For a while he's upstairs then goes to the kitchen.

Of a sudden, over the back of the couch, James' lips are on my cheek and his arms snaking around me from behind. I remain unphased even as he lays his head over to try to get me to look at him.

"I was a big jerk this morning. I'm so sorry."

"You think that it's gonna be that simple to change my mood after the way you talked to me this morning?"

"No."

"You better not. You basically called me a two-timing tramp."

"I'm not going to make any excuses for what I did. There isn't one."

"I guess not." I toss my book back in my bag and cross my arms over my chest. "Sometimes, I think you get sick of me and try to push me away. Like, dating me, or perhaps dating a pregnant girl, isn't as much fun as you anticipated."

"I'll never get sick of you. It's just that I sometimes think that you're still scared that I'm going to leave. It's so frustrating because I just don't know how to show you that I'm different. There's nothing you could do to make me stop loving you."

"Then why did you talk to me like you did this morning? It hurts to think that you believe I could just uproot what we have and go back to the guy who hurt me worse than anyone in my life."

"I don't."

"Then give me the trust I deserve, James."

"Give me the trust I deserve too." He walks around in front of me and takes my hand to pull me to my feet. "You're so smart, but sometimes you act dumb; because you think that I can be taken away. Nothing short of God above could turn me away from your love. I need you that much."

"I need you too. We need to work on this."

"We've both been hurt, but understand that this different, right?" He asks. I nod in agreement. "Good." He kisses the top of my head, forehead, nose, then lips. "I have something to make up for this morning. Follow me."

He takes my hand, leading the way to the kitchen. On the table is a bouquet of pink, red, and white roses alongside various chocolate boxes.

"James, you didn't need to-."

"I wanted to. A little something to make up for my inexcusable actions." He kisses the side of cheek.

"James." I bump (more like my belly bumps into him) into him as I turn to talk. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I was thinking that maybe you could take a nice bath, I could make dinner, and we could watch something"

"I don't think you will ever cease to amaze me, Maslow." I pull his face to mine.

* * *

_**/James POV/**_

"James, is dinner almost ready?"

I peek over my shoulder to see Sawyer's face looking around the corner, she might have been sneaky if her belly wasn't protruding around the corner as well. All too cute of a moment.

"Almost, Precious."

"Good." She crosses the kitchen in a slow waddle; this started recently and she utterly can't stand it. Everyone else loves to watch her walk. My favorite part about her pregnancy is watching how her belly has grown. She has to try to see around it while laying down in bed, can't put her shoes on by herself, but it's cute when she uses it for her personal table for propping books, plates, and laundry baskets.

"You up for spaghetti and meatballs?"

"Yes."

"Good." I slide my hand over her shoulders. "How'd work go?"

Her feet patter over the floor.

"It's okay. The bigger the baby gets, the harder it's becoming to dance."

"I know. How much longer do you think you can carry her around?"

"Not much. She's getting to be quite the load. You should take a turn."

"Believe me, when Danika finally does join us here, you won't get a chance to hold her. Aside from me, you're gonna have to share her with Logan, Dad, your parents, friends, and other family. We'll have our hands full with company. Haha. Who'd have thought that having a baby would bring people so much closer together?"

"Yeah. Not everyone." Sawyer sighs. "Just everyone who is really important."

"Of course, Baby." I put a kiss on her head.

"By the way, I changed her name. One last time, I liked 'Daniella' better because it's kinda like 'Cinderella'.

* * *

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Last dish." James calls.

I lay the hairbrush down on the nightstand and pick up _Mortal Instruments _to finish reading.

"I get in here and you're reading. What did you need?"

"I was lonely." I pull at my Cookie Monster shirt to cover my belly.

"You're never alone. You have got our baby with you at all times."

"I know. I just want near you."

"Alright." He crawls across the bed and lays a pillow on my lap then his head on the pillow. Fox comes in as well and jumps on the bed. No surprise when he begins talking to and tracing around my belly. It's not a big gesture, but in it I find comfort. As long as he still wants to be near us, he's not getting bored. For a little bit longer everything can be okay. I feel bad sometimes, when he moves a little too close or says a little much, I do recluse. He notices and it hurts me to hurt him. James makes me feel so good that at times I do want it to cut short so that I won't be hurt again. Know what I mean? He's not doing anything wrong. I just try to guarded.

I know that if I wasn't ready to be with James, I shouldn't have moved in; but that's the thing. I am ready. Just scared. The cliche plays over through my brain, "_Not every guy is that same._" James truly proves this to me. Not so much that we have a perfect relationship, but that he tries to be for me.

"Of course. You're kind of already taking over my life. You're not even born yet. You're special. You're special because-. Well, you're you. That's why. You've got a spectacular mom. I'm her boyfriend and your dad. And your PawPaw is pretty great."

While he talks to us, I run my fingers through his hair and mindlessly turn the pages of my book.

"Maybe with those strong legs,that he's kicking around with, he could be a drummer. Hmm?"

"Yeah. He could. Would you wanna help Daddy with his music? Let's start a band."

"I can barely handle when you're away. Why would you encourage my daughter to leave me too?"

"I'm not. Just making conversation." He takes the remotes and turns the TV and Netflix on. "What do you wanna watch?"

"I'm reading. It doesn't matter."

With not much of a surprise, the theme to _Psych _starts. Fox moves to perch on the other side of my lap and props his head on my belly. He likes that, especially when I scratch his ears while he's there.

Silence falls, James and Fox drift to sleep on my lap. They're such cuddly creatures. I don't know why I get the way I do. This is where I belong, I know. There's no one else for me, and I don't want anyone else.

After I remove James' glasses from his face, my fingers push through James' hair as he lays asleep. His fingers twitch slightly, maybe from dreaming.

"Honey. Come get under the blankets."


	34. Like I'm Gonna Lose You

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Like I'm Gonna Lose You - Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend_

"James. James. Wake up." I shake his shoulder. "James. Honey. Wake up. Baby."

Out of his sleep, he sits straight up; out of breath. Sweat and heat radiating from him.

"Baby. You were having a bad dream or something. Is everything okay?" I pet the back of head, feeling his damp hair. He turns to me in a snap, looking between my eyes and my belly.

"The baby. Is the baby okay? I had a dream that we lost her. We didn't, did we? We still have our girl?" His voice hitches, and if it weren't for being so dark I might see tears coming down his face. It's so pitiful to hear him so upset and worked up.

"Baby, she's is fine. I promise. Feel." The only way to reassure him is to let him feel the movements that our baby is producing. I take his hand and firmly press it there. A few moments pass before his breathing regulates. "She's okay. Our baby is okay. You're okay. I got you." I wrap my hand up in his.

"I never want to feel like that ever again. I was so scared." He explains. My fingers run through the front his hair then hold onto the side of his face. It must have been one vivid dream. His hands are still trembling.

"It's all alright." I pull him to me and hold him close. "You're awake. It's over. I've got you."

"It seemed so real."

"I'm sorry. Come on. Let me hold you. Lay down." I request. He nods and reclines. We have to readjust. As I lay, my belly lays on his arm. I lay my arm over his chest and softly rub my fingers around his jaw and neck area while his hand lays on my belly. He's still reeling from that nightmare. I don't want to ask about it; I don't want to know any details nor do I want him to think of it again.

"I love you so much." I kiss his cheek. "It's all okay. I've got you."

He turns his head to lay it near mine. Our foreheads touch and lips would with a small pucker. 'Daniella' offers more comfort by tapping against the palms of our hands. I silently thank her for relaxed sigh that James releases. Continuously, he keeps his fingertips rubbing back and forth.

It's so amazing how much he cares for me and the baby. I never thought someone would love me like this, never thought anyone could. This sort of love is only what you hear about in novels.

What did I do to deserve to one who is clinging back to me?

* * *

"I don't think I like the name anymore, it just doesn't flow or stick. Now, the name Melody is more fitting." My eyes have not even opened for the day and already James is rubbing my belly. His chest feels so warm to my back, but his fingers seem more chilled to touch my stomach.

Words don't seem to be fitting for now. The peaceful, comfortable silence says more than anything.

I slide the arm that my head was lying on farther behind my head and softly scratch the top of James' head. With that, he presses his lips to the side of my neck then lays his head on my shoulder.

"Good morning, Gorgeous." He whispers. I can feel his smile on my skin.

"Hello there, Handsome."

One of his arms holds me and the other has never stopped rubbing our newly un-named baby.

"Do you work today?"

"Yes. Can't wait for maternity leave."

"Why don't you let me dote on you until the baby decides to join us. And, then you'll lay here while I take care of her."

"I think you're have to let me see her so that I can feed her."

"We'll get a pump."

I laugh.

"You're ridiculous. You know that?" I turn to lay on my back and we can actually make eye contact. "I'm surprised that you've not rubbed a hole in my belly. I can't tell if you think it's like a Buddha and you're gonna get lucky; or if you're hoping it's like a genie and the lamp situation. Rub it and the genie appears."

"Neither, Baby. Just having the only connection with her that I can for now." He pulls his hand away, but I put it back and he resumes. "You're so beautiful." He leans forward to put his lips on mine but has to stop short when I sit upright.

"Ouch." I support myself on one arm and hold my belly with the other. "I had a hard time getting to sleep and when I finally did, I slept in a position that got my neck hurting."

"How about a hot shower to relax your muscles. You've got an hour before you've got to get ready for work. It'll make you feel better."

"Yeah."

"I'll go ahead and start that so the water will warm up. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Mm-hmm." I nod my head. He runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it out of my face. "I'm okay. Just go ahead and start the shower and I'll get up in a minute. I promise, I'm gonna be alright." I could tell that he was about to start over thinking, so I gave him something to do.

"I know you are. You're my girl." He gets off the bed, slowly exiting the room. "I'll bring you some clean clothes up too."

* * *

**_(After the shower)_**

James was right, per usual. The shower did relax my muscle, but not my mind. I put my jeans and tee shirt on, but being too lazy to take my wet hair out of towel it's wrapped in.

"Hey, Baby Doll." James turns from the pancakes that he's finished making to observe me. Probably for any obvious signs that I am upset. "Why don't you let me dry your hair while you eat? Hmm?" He brings a plate over and sets it in front of me.

Chocolate chip pancakes.

"You're so good to me and I don't even know why."

"No reason." He takes the towel down and softly rubs it against my head and down my hair. For a while, he massages my head with the towel and it feels so nice that I wish for him to never stop. With a final twist around my hair, he kisses the top of my head. I thought he was done until, in front of my face, a necklace chain and pendant dangle. He hooks it and once again kisses the top of my head.

I pick up the pendant.

"It's a 'J' for James. So that everyone knows that you're mine. I have one too. But, mine is on a dog-tag. I don't think my friends would let it go if I were to wear a Tiffany's necklace."

"You didn't!" I smile and lay my head back to see him. He slides the box into my hand. "James!"

My hands grab his head and pull it down to kiss him. For a minute we just remain the same, and then he walks around and pulls me to my feet so that we can kiss more comfortably.

"I have to do something special for you."

"Every night that you lay next to me and every morning that you let me wake up next to you, that's something special that you do for me."

"Are you a Nicholas Sparks novel?"

"Yes. We're getting a book written about our crazy love story." He half smiles.

"Ouh. Who are they going to get to play us in the movies?"

* * *

Life barely, if ever, gives us any time to adjust to the chaos around us. We have to either give up or give it all you've got. It'll seem at the moment that you're drowning in obstacles, but when you look back, you'll see that all of it was making you stronger.

(That being said, let's take a 1 month hop. Don't worry, we'll circle back to the missed month.)

* * *

**_(At work)_**

"Oh, Gilbert. I wish you wouldn't rant in French. I really can't understand anything."

"I can teach you."

"Really? The French that I know is in one Rick Springfield song. Haha."

"What is it?"

"The song or the lyrics?"

"Both."

"The song is Don't Talk To Strangers. And, the French is _'Fais l'amour avec moi. Viens dormir, mon amour. Je t'aime. Donne moi ton coeur se soir'_."

"Nice. Do you know what it means?"

"Make love with me. Come sleep, My love. I love you. Give me your heart tonight."

"_Oui. Oui_. Very good." He applauds.

"Would you like to come to a house tonight? My boyfriend and I are having some friends over for dinner."

"_Merci_. Thank you. And the party, is going to be ... wild?"

"Probably not. My boyfriend won't let my heart level raise too much."

"He's probably concerned for you and your baby's health."

"That was sarcasm, Gil."

"_Droite_. You American's and your sarcasm."

"You teach me French and I'll teach you sarcasm."

"Not that it's any of my business, but when is your baby due?"

"July 10th, but I don't know if she'll wait that long."

"What do you mean?"

"She's so active."

"Poor thing. I do hope you'll be alright."

"We will. But how about that party? It'll just be some family, friends, food, singing, and fun. Also, if you have swimming trunks, bring them."

"Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to overstep any boundaries."

"I'm sure. Plus, you would be the only person I'd actually be happy to see."

"You and your boyfriend don't share friends?"

"No. It's not that. It's more like I don't like anyone. When I became pregnant, it was like I became diseased or something. Everyone, except 4 people, quit talking to me."

"That wasn't nice."

"Not really." I reach for my bag and purse, but end up knocking them off the edge of the table.

"_Demoiselle en détresse_?" Gilbert chuckles, picking the bags up then handing them to me as small children started trickling in the room. "Let's get this class started."

* * *

**_(Back at the house, at the party)_**

"If you would put on a red shirt, you'd look like Pooh Bear." Logan pokes fun. "Sawyer The Pooh. Sawyer The Pooh."

I cross my arms and look at James. He ceases his laughing and shakes his head as if telling me to ignore my idiot brother. That's what I did. Instead of hanging around there, I went out back to find Alexa, sunning in her bikini. My blinding yellow one-piece especially makes her look even better.

"Hey, Girl." I take a seat under the umbrella. "You look amazing."

"So do you." Alexa says as she rotates to tan her back side.

"Please, do not even. I am 6 and half months pregnant in the middle of May, and it's humid as Hades out here." I fan myself with a piece of junk mail that I've been carrying around.

From around the side of the house, Gilbert walk towards us.

"Gilbert, you made it." I raise from my chair and walk to greet him.

"Yes. I met your friend Kendall. He is quite _charmant_."

"Thank you." Kendall beams.

"Well, don't inflate his ego too much. And, this over here is Alexa, Carlos' wife."

"_Enchanté de faire votre connaissance._"

"He's being a show off." I take a seat offering both of them one as well.

"She's right." Gil laughs "Hello. My name is Gilbert Porter Quinn. I'm very pleased to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Lex speaks up. "Forgive my forwardness, but do you have a girlfriend? I have so many single friends." Lex leans up from her chair, picking up her phone.

"_Oui._ Still in France." He nods.

"I bet she's a lovely girl."

"Yes."

"What part of France are you from?" I prod.

"Rouen. Just about a two hour drive from Paris and one hour drive to the beach. It's quite beautiful."

"Have you seen this article, Little Bit?" Lex leans in to see her phone screen better. "Uhm. You might want to check TMZ. Right now. The headline reads; 'James Maslow has new girl?' And, I clicked the link. This is what it says 'Early yesterday morning, we finally confirmed James Maslow (Sequestered actor and Big Time Rush singer) was spotted locking lips with a new cutie at this gas station. Upon closer inspection, who else would it possibly be? Not former band mate Logan Henderson's little sister, is it? According to sources, it is! But, that not all! Take a look at this closer shot! SHE'S PREGNANT! Moving a little fast, aren't we? Discovering you have a new girl and becoming a father all in one day? Our hearts go out to the fans of this hottie surfer. Hmm. Wonder what big brother Logan has to say on the subject. As far as we've seen, no marriage rings or an engagement ring. None have been reached to give a comment. We can't wait to hear more from the new couple and expecting parents."

By the looks of the faces surrounding me, I wasn't looking too well.

"Are you alright? You've lost all your color." Kendall grasps my shoulder.

"I'm fine. I mean, it's not like it was supposed to be a grand secret, but. But, how is James going to react?"

"If he didn't want to claim the baby and you publicly then he shouldn't be with you at all. He shouldn't get to live a good life, then get to play 'Family' whenever convenient." Gil becomes suddenly stern.

"It's not like that at all. James loves us very much."

"I don't doubt that."

"There's a few pictures of you two in the article and 203 comments." Alexa continues to read. "You two look really cute."

* * *

_**(After the party)**_

"I am so sorry."

"Baby, it's not something to apologize for. You're not at fault or being accused of anything."

"But, I'm not with you because of your fame! I don't want to be on magazine covers, I'm not that pretty! I'm not talented, I can't act or sing. I don't even have a poetic bone in my body! I'm not using you for your fame. But, I don't know. It's like if I don't do one of those things; I'm not good enough for you. If I do, I'd be dating you for attention. I just want to be with you because- because I love you! I just love you for the way you love me and Meloday. Do I need to change to meet the status quo?" I pace back and forth in front of James who is seated in the arm chair in front of the fireplace.

"Thea." He stands to his feet, taking me by the arm. "Calm down."

"I'm fine."

"Don't you dare change. I love you the way you are. We knew this would happen. It's alright. I'm not upset or anything. Why would I be? I'm excited that we can go on public outings now. You and I are free to be who we are. You are my girl. This is my baby girl. Wanna make an official announcement? I wanna tell the world that you're mine."

"I'm not a princess. I don't want the world to fall in love with me or even hate me. I just want to be me."

"And, I want to post a picture of my super beautiful girlfriend to announce our daughter. Would you let me?" His hands slide down my arms. I just smile in defeat. Why does this man have me wrapped around his finger?

"Logan. Get in here." James steps out of the room and returns with a piece of paper with 'It's a girl!' inscribed on it.

"Are you trying to be cute?"

"I'm really trying." He winks. "Why you have a better idea?"

James passes his phone over to Logan then stands by me, holding his sign in one hand and has a thumbs up with the other.

Originally, we were smiling at the camera, but our gaze shifted to each other, resulting in a cuter picture. But, we then leaned in and kissed, an even cuter picture. He posts them both in one tweet, simply saying: 'It's a girl.'

"You know, you don't have to be a celebrity or famous. I don't care what anyone says or is saying. You are the star of my life." James produces another line to make my heart beat a little faster once again. "So, now, you'll come to that release party with me?


	35. So Close

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: So Close - Jon McLaughlin_

James helps me with my dress zipper as we try to deal with our awkward silence.

"Why did your mother say all that about us?" I ask while clipping my curled hair up. After our world announcement, James's mother has become more persistent with making sure we break up.

"Mom didn't think we were going to last. She thinks that this is a Hollywood thing. A phase that I was going through."

"Was she right? Am I a phase?"

"No. You are my life. My love. Forever. And now you're going to be the mother of my baby." He smiles at me, then continues to struggle with his tie.

"Let me help." I straighten it out and retie it.

To be honest, we love each other, but it feels like we're walking on eggshells.

**_James POV_**

This one doesn't look good."

"Babe. It's fine. We got to go."

"Please, just let me wear some sweats." She comes out of the bedroom with a dress hanging half off of her shoulder.

"No. You can't wear sweats, Baby. This is important. Come on. I'll pick you out something to wear." I enter the room and open the closet door, pushing the coat hangers around until I pull out a nice, pink sundress-y thing. It looks formal enough. "Here. This will look amazing. But, hurry."

I exit and shut the door while she swaps outfits. This party is for producers, managers, and extra for helping me produce my album. She slips out of the room. My glance shifts towards her coming down the steps. "You look beautiful, Baby."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Now, we can go."

* * *

_**(At the party)**_

"Sawyer?"

_"Oh. Thank, God. You answered. I'm in a bit of a sticky wicket?"_

"What's the matter?" I plug my other ear to hear her better.

_"My zipper busted."_

"Your zipper? On your dress?"

_"Yeah. Can you bring me your jacket?"_

"Yeah. I'll be there in 30 seconds." Our phones click in hanging up. Already shimming my jacket off, I part through the crowd. I'm gonna have to hold myself together, she's probably gonna be hysterical trying to tell me what happened. She peeps her head out the door once I call her name and the jacket slides on her in no time.

"I dropped my lip stick, so I bent down, and it all just sort of happened." She walks by me.

"I'm sorry."

"No. It's not bad, just noticeable."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No. No. It's fine. We're good."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna get something to drink, why don't you go find your friends again?"

"Yeah. Okay." I kiss her cheek before walking away. I'm not sure what's up with her lately. She just seems distant and moody. I wonder if it could be because of me. Most likely over what my mother said, but we've dealt with that before. She's been working a lot lately and so have I. But, there is the whole pregnancy mood thing too, that could be contributing. I just wish that we could talk about it.

"Maslow!" A friend of mine hollers and I walk over to him.

* * *

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

I didn't wanna come tonight, but I'll do anything for him. My zipper is messed up and my belly bulging out sort of made me self conscience. I needed some fresh air.

There's been lots of stress lately. Too much tension. James is making me worry. He's spending more time away from home and attending a lot of parties that I can't. Wouldn't you be thinking that same thing? Let's face it, I don't have a fighting chance if they decide they want him. It drives me crazy and when I ask him about it, he gets upset. Which further leads me to think to he's being defensive. I may be just on the crazy end of stupid.

"_Soy_-yer?" A strange, but familiar, accent mispronounces my name.

"Peta?" I question.

"Oh, goodness. Look at you! You look fabulous!" She comes up to me.

"Look who's talking." I smile and she hugs me.

"I didn't know you were expecting! Congratulations!"

"Thank you. I'm having a baby girl."

"That's wonderful." She hugs me again. "Do you know where James is?"

"Yeah. He's inside. Last I saw, by the far wall."

"Oh, thank you. I'll be back to catch up with you in a little bit."

"Alright."

She makes her way in. For a while, I stand out there. Inside my belly, my girl is causing quite the stir. I feel as if I'm burning up. The drink might actually help. It doesn't take long to go back in. And, to my luck, James is standing by the refreshments.

"... But, no. Sawyer's baby isn't biologically mine." I hear him say. The glass that I picked up made it's way to be shattered on the floor. Several people turned around, including James. Automatically, his face drops. His mind is already trying to find something to say. I take off his jacket, clutch to my zipper to keep it closed, then I throw it at him and turn away.

"Sawyer, come back here." He runs to me. "Sawyer, stop."

"Leave me alone."

We make it out the doors and he grabs me by the arm.

"Don't touch me!" I'm pretty sure there's steam coming out of my ears.

"What is your problem lately?!"

"Why don't you tell me?!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Spending days away from home and then late night parties with trampy looking girls! And, why is Peta showing up here?!"

"What? I can't see my friends?!"

"No! Not that 'friend'." I make air quotes.

"Why not?!"

"Because, I don't like her! She makes it all too obvious that she wants you! You're not really helping her think otherwise when you pull this stunt."

"Oh yeah. Because, giving her a hug really shows her how much I want to take her home and all my other friends whom I hug."

"Why are you so defensive?! I just asked you not to sneak around!"

"I'm not!"

"How do I know that?! If you wanna be with her, just let me know! I won't hold you back! Tell me now!"

"Why are you so threatened? You don't own me! You're so jealous of every girl that I'm friends with!"

"Yes. I am! They are all models and really talented! I'm just me. I am terribly jealous, because you might actually have decided that you made a mistake by dating me!"

"Maybe I did! Because; 1) You constantly bug me over my girl friends. 2) You're pregnant and it's not even mine. I shouldn't have to deal with all this drama and moods! I am not responsible for this! I would not have been this stupid to get a girl pregnant!" That last reason left me breathless. "You just ride my nerves and drive me crazy! Maybe, this was a mistake! Obviously, you were right! I didn't know what I was getting into! We're barely starting as a couple, what made us think that we could take on being parents?! I should have listened to Mom!"

I look down, forcing my eyes shut. Maybe, this isn't real. I could just be having a nightmare.

Nope.

My eyes open, it's all too real.

"Okay." I nod slowly. Light headed and heavy hearted. He presses his hand to his brow line and sighs. I walk past him, ignoring anything he might be saying.

"Leave me alone." I say through gritted teeth, continuing on. "I can't believe you actually said it! Finally! I'm so happy that you said it now instead of later!" I push him hard on the chest.


	36. I Didn't Mean To Make You Mine

**_/Logan POV/_**

_Chapter Song: I Didn't Mean To Make You Mine - Nina_

"Wait. What do you mean that you've don't know where she is? She isn't here! What did you fight about about?!" I scream into the phone as I make a mad dash for my car and ripping out of the driveway.

"I screwed up. I screwed up so bad. She hasn't talked to me in hours." James sobs from the other side of the phone.

"What did you do?!"

"I said Melody isn't mine! I told her that I shouldn't have to deal with her-r-r." Another sob, with a few non-understandable words following. "I didn't mean it! I want her! I want our baby!"

"Shut up. I'll find her." I hang up and dial Mom's number. Sawyer may seek comfort there. It's logical. It would honestly be such a relief if she's there. James said he hasn't been able to get a hold of her for hours.

The phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mama. What's up?"

"Making dinner. Why? What's up with you?"

"Is Little Bit with you?"

"No. She's probably with James. Try there."

"Yeah. Okay. Love you, Mom."

"Love you too, Son."

After the call ends, I fling the phone into the passenger seat.

Where is she? If I were her, where would I go?

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I have to go back home and try to work out a plan.

* * *

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

When I started walking, I just kept going. No destination, just as far away from him as possible. Only to end up in a little coffee shop to cry, rethink, and relive the lat 30 minutes over and over.

"I don't think you should be here all by yourself." I jump when someone begins to speak to me.

"I'm okay." I look up, but stop mid-sentence. "Cyrus? What are you doing here?"

"I'm going home and saw you through the window. Question is; what are you doing here?" He remains standing a few feet away with hands in his pockets.

"I'm sitting."

"Just sitting? You don't have chairs where you live?"

"Why is it such a concern of yours?" I make sure my zipper is still together and then cross my arms over my belly while waiting for his snippy reply.

"I don't even like walking alone through here at night. I don't think you should either."

"Well, I don't have anywhere to be."

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter. I-." I just feel so frayed, like my whole world is caving in. Cyrus moves closer and sits across the table from me. Embarrassment and shame fills me. I bet he's just waiting for the moment to tell me that he was right about everything.

"You doing okay?" He asks. "

"I'm fine. How are you?" I look away from my belly and over to him. My eyes are sore and puffy from crying, which means they probably look entirely crazy.

"I'm actually doing well. I've stopped smoking. Completely clean for 4 months."

"That's really great. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. And, how's...?" He glances at the baby bump and back to me.

"She's great. I think she's asleep at the moment, not much movement going on. Her name is Melody Avery."

"That's lovely. I'll bet she'll love it... So, you think that maybe you want me to take you home? I don't wanna leave you all alone here."

"Uh. No. I'll be fine."

"Nonsense. I'll take you home. Come on."

"You don't even have your car."

"Well, walking to work saves on a gas. It's only a 15 minute walk. I'm trying to save money for repairs on the condo. My car still works. Either you can walk with me or I'm going to get the car and come back."

"Gosh. You're such a butthead." I chuckle. "Such a hard head."

"Is that a 'yes'?" He stands.

"I guess." I stand and my dress straightens out and I clutch the side once again.

"You look nice. Where you been?"

"I don't really wanna talk about it." We begin to walk.

* * *

_**(At Cyrus's house)**_

_**Cyrus POV**_

"Come on in for a minute and have a seat. Oh and don't be afraid to shoo Bernard if he starts to jump on you. Or feel free to roam around."

"I hate to ask, but my dress is torn. Could I borrow some clothes? Would you have anything to fit me?"

"I can see what I have. Don't know if anything I have will fit you." I remark with snarly smile.

"Excuse me? You did this to me. The least you could do is let me have a shirt and some sweats."

"Of course. Give me a minute."

It didn't take long to find something to let her wear nor for her to come out of that bathroom looking absolutely looking like a dream come true. The make-up washed off, the hair tossed up messily, and her hand underneath my baby that is protruding through her abdomen.

"I didn't think that things would go so bad, but surprisingly... I'm not shocked. It hurts but then why is my body numb? It didn't even hurt this much when you broke up with me. That's crazy because James and I weren't together a third of the time you and I were... You know, I can't believe I let myself get so stupid especially with a baby on the way. Oh, gosh, the baby..."

I mean, I figured that she and James had a fight but still not sure where this is going.

She bursts into a fit of tears that I hadn't even realized were welling up.

"I've never hurt this bad."

There so no other option, I wrap my arms around her and try to squeeze all the little broken pieces back together.

"Come on now. You'll be alright. Let's sit down." I ease us down to the couch.

"He said that he loved Melody. Why would he say that if he didn't mean it?"

The last I held Sawyer while she cried was when she accidentally got us turned around and completely lost. That was actually one of the fondest memories I have of Sawyer. We got so lost we had to have someone from that local policemen lead us back to where we were trying to go in the first place. She was so scared then, but not even at her worst nightmare had I had ever experience left her this torn apart. Not even our break up affected her like this.

"You're okay." I say with repetition.

She eventually loses her ability of speech then just clings to me, eyes so puffy and red. But no more tears. Perhaps she has cried all she can. Maybe she's thought up a solution, but for now she lays against me chewing her nails. One of her bad habits.

"James said that the baby isn't his. I know she isn't, but he never said otherwise. He always just loved her from the beginning, even before I realized that I was going to keep her. He's changed."

I try to not say anything to rouse her. But, do not he fooled, a fire was lit enough to make me nearly run out the door to tear James's head off. All I can do to calm down is to pet her arm back and forth.

The little nibbles on her nails eases as she drifts to sleep.

* * *

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

Wearily, I climb the front porch steps of Logan's house the next morning and lean against the door to catch my breath. Appearance isn't even in my top 20 concerns. My hand turns the knob. Once I get in the door and shut it, I drop my keys and purse to the floor with a loud clicking noise.

"Hello?" Logan walks into the room with an extremely perturbed look on his face at first.

"Logan." My voice cracks.

"Sawyer." He comes over and hugs me tightly. "I was so scared. I thought something happened to you. I'm so glad you're okay. Never do that to me again. I love you. I was so worried. Where were you?" He backs up, holding onto my arms.

"Cyrus's. James hu-. H-he sa-aid- t-that."

"I know."

"You were right."

"Shh." He releases me. "Stop. Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

"Just my heart."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to scare you. I- I just didn't know what to do. It hurts so bad. How could I have been so stupid?"

"You're not stupid. And, he's so upset with himself. He's called so many times asking about you. I think he may have pulled all his hair out."

"I don't wanna talk to him. Don't let him here either. I just don't want him here. I don't wanna see him." I walk over, sit on the couch, and kick off my shoes. Logan remains standing where he is.

"Okay. He won't come. Do you need anything? I can make a food run or order something."

"I'm not really hungry right now."

"How's the baby?"

"She's okay."

"Good. Listen, I am so glad you're safe. Is there anything that I can get you?"

"No thanks. I'm just gonna sit here."

"Alright. I'm gonna call Mom and let her know you're safe."

I sit back, propping my feet on the coffee table. How they ache.

I wonder if that butt-face has left any messages for me. I reach for my phone that is in my pocket and switch it on. After it loads, notification after notification spills in.

78 missed calls.

62 new messages.

A mix of him, Logan, and Mom.

Whatever. I dismiss them and look at my background. It's a silly selfie of James and I laying on his bed. His glasses slid down his nose and my hair up in a messy bun.

Gotta change that.

I access my picture gallery. Almost every picture is either of James or James and me.

Ugh. I set the phone down and lay across the couch. The baby doesn't like the sudden shift of position. She lets me know that by the turnabouts that she begins to perform.

"Shhh, Baby. It's okay. Mama's here." My hands lay on either side of my belly button and my fingers gently move back and forth. Melody isn't letting up though. Apparently, I caused a great disturbance when I moved. "I love you."

It's funny how you do something, even when there are a million flashing, red lights and all your friends and family telling you that maybe it isn't the right choice. Everyone told me that this would happen.

I just can not believe that James could be so cruel.

I stare at the phone, thinking of all the things that we said.

Is it over now?

Are James and I... over?

The remote is on the coffee table, I reach for it and flip through the channels. A few movies and shows are on. Silence Of The Lambs distracts me the most. Something about how amazing that Anthony Hopkins can work criminal insanity. He makes you believe what you're seeing. Nearly convinces you that he might actually be crazy.

Fascinating, how people can do that. Make you think one thing, then the truth is revealed.

Turns out, lots people are good it.

"Hey, Baby Sis." Logan comes through the house.

"Hey, Lo." I sit up.

"What's up?" He sits next to me and looks at the TV.

"The end of Silence Of The Lambs. I think that this might be a horror movie marathon. The Ring is supposed to come on next and then The Amityville Horror, and Signs."

"Oh. Sounds like our kinda thing. Guess it's a good thing that I've got food on the way and nothing else to do."

"I guess it is." I feign a smile.

The movies are excellent, so is the food. But Logan's curiosity got the better of him.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I'm such an idiot. I'm an idiot. Why did I think this would be okay! How could he say that?"

Because, it's true. I knew that from the start, so did he.

Is it so wrong that I just honestly want him to show up like John Cusack in Say Anything. I just want him to say that he's sorry and that we'll always be together. I want something to make sense. My best friend hurt me in a way no one else could.


	37. Intermission

_**/James POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Think Of You - Chris Young ft. Cassadee Pope_

"So, the lady gave you the night off?" My extremely drunk friend slaps me on the shoulder; tipping some of his shot onto my shirt.

"I guess. 'The Lady' won't talk to me. I think she's gonna break up with me."

"Oh, shhh-." He takes the shot and a slouchy-concerned face looks back at me. "Did you do the forbidden?"

"Worse. Worse than sleeping with anyone is her family or any of her friends." From my bar stool, I watch the girls on the dance floor. It all reminds me of how much I enjoyed watching my Sawyer dance. No matter what song, she could always choreograph a beautiful piece. "I went too far. She's not talked to me in a week. Stupid choice of words and then out of frustration kept talking and kept digging that hole deeper."

"That seems pretty stupid. And, it's a shame. I liked her. Pretty great dancer too. A pretty girl in general. Hey, would you care if I took her? What if your kid calls me 'Papa'?"

It was like an instant reaction, I snatched up my by the collar of shirt; but quickly released my grip.

"I don't wanna lose her."

"Oh, man. You totally serious. Didn't realize it was that bad. I'm too wasted for deep conversations. But know what I'm not too drunk for? Dancing!" He points to the floor and takes the sleeve of my shirt. After dragging me the edge of the floor, he gets a few girl's attention. He chats the girls up while I plan on how to get home, because I too have a light buzz in my skull, don't wanna risk driving and getting a ticket. "C'mon. Let's go. I'm gonna cheer you up."

"Oh, where are we off to?"

"Somewhere else."

With a girl on each arm, he leads us out the door of the club and stumbling into the worse tragedy to ever happen.

"Well, it looks like you're taking our separation very well."

* * *

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Intermission - Big Time Rush_

The shock on his face when the realization sinks in is entirely priceless.

"No. No. It's not what it looks like. And, what do mean 'our separation'? We didn't break up."

"Don't even try." I keep walking. He just abandons his group. "It's not like we had to say the words. You said what you felt. I listened."

"I was giving a small explanation to my friend. He thought the only reason I was with you was because I got you pregnant." He follows me as I walk. "What are you even doing walking out here this late in the evening?"

"I'm walking to the parking garage because all the spaces were filled by the time I got to work. Not that I owe you an explanation."

"Stop! Would you just talk to me and maybe we can get passed this! Why won't you even try?" He takes my hand, but I jerk away and keep on strolling. Thankfully, my car is already in view. "You have to believe me. Why else would I make a nursery and help pick out names, go with you to every doctor appointment? Tell me why I stood by your side through all the persecution? Why did I ask you to move in with me, so that I could take care of you." He spits out reason after to reason.

This may be it for us.

The headache makes my feet unsteady and the steady rain fall isn't helping.

"Don't go, please." He pleads, but I burst on through. He takes off after me this time but I stop him short.

"When I left, you should have chased after me! I just wanted you to hold me and take it all back!" I turn around.

"You told me to leave you alone! I've been trying to take it back!"

"I was mad! Still am!"

"I said I'm sorry! I said it every way possible! You know that I would never say that in a million years! Nothing could make me say that you're not carrying my daughter! Because, you are! That is my baby! Melody is mine!"

"How can I know that you mean it?! You said it once, what will keep you from changing your mind later?!"

"Nothing ever will! I will never say that again! Even if you and I are mad at each other! That doesn't change the fact that we are preparing to start a new life together. Yes, it's scaring the life out of me, but I'm a thrill seeker. I want you to know that the moment that Melody arrives in this world, her daddy will be there to greet her and will be with her until I die. Nothing will keep me from my daughter." While we were yelling at each other, we moved closer. Our hair and clothes are now wet.

"What? Did you think that you can just spit out some bit like that just expect everything to be alright?" I deal him a head-turning slap.

"By telling the truth, yes. I thought you would realize that I had a poor choice of words that didn't mean a thing! Nothing I said that night is true. Not a single thing in this world compares the level of love and need I have for you and Melody."

"This isn't a romance novel! That doesn't really work in real life! Don't you see? You're not held back now! You can walk away! Go be with whoever, go do and have whatever, you want! Sorry that I kept you prisoner for so long!" I turn to go back to the car. James jumps in front of me, holding my face to look at him.

"Looking into your eyes, I know I'm right. If there's anything worth my love; it's worth a fight! We only get one chance, but nothing ties our hands. You're what I want! Listen to me, nothing I want is out of my reach. I'm free! Running away will never make me free, and nothing we sign is any kind of guarantee. But I wanna hold you now, and I won't hold you down. Love's the only thing that keeps me here. You're the reason that I'm hanging on. My heart's staying where my heart belongs." He takes the chance to kiss me. "We're better than real life, Thea. Can't you see that? Can't you feel it? We are better than it. You have to believe me when I say that my feelings for you will never change. No one will ever convince me that baby isn't mine. From the first time we heard her heartbeat, to the time I first felt her move, and every other time between; that baby is mine."

"James." If we weren't standing in the rain, I could probably see tears going down his face. I pull his hands away from my face.

My life will change forever in any second.

His head drops. I look down too. His hand rests on the apex of my baby bump. The rain making our clothes cling to our bodies.

"No, Sawyer, please. Don't do this. Please, don't leave me. Don't take Melody away from me. Please. I'll do anything to make you stay. You are the center of my universe. I just need to you stay. You are my once in a lifetime."

I stand there while he grips my wrists, not in a threatening manner, more like in a way that if I pulled away he would shatter in a million pieces. Why does it feel that way? He said such mean things. He said mean things, but also that I am holding his whole universe in tact.

Goosebumps cover my skin. The cold rain has me freezing the core, even though I was so heated just a few minutes ago.

"Don't leave me." His forehead lays on my head. I am looking down because I couldn't look at him right now. "I don't want you to go."

"James, we relive the same thing over and over. We can't keep re-acting the same thing again and again. What in the world is our relationship based on? Okay, we were friends for years, but how does that bring stability to a new relationship and adding a baby to the equation? You treated me like a porcelain doll; with care and special attention, but always afraid to break me."

"We were making it work, please, don't leave me."

"We can't help but cause a fight, it seems, every night for the last two weeks. We keep acting like everything is okay, then we're alone, it's horrible. You almost always left the house entirely every few days. We don't feel right anymore. Life keeps getting in the way. And, you're obviously not too tore up about it all, out getting drunk with your friends."

"I'll do anything, please. I don't want it to be over. Please stay."

"Right now, I think you and me, we're better off apart." It takes all of my strength to muster the words that barely trickle out of my mouth. "I don't want it to be over either, and if we're supposed to be together; we'll manage to drift back together. We need to find out who we are without each other. Let's not make this any harder, please, understand."

"I'm trying to understand."

I unlock the car and open the door to throw my bags in. As I try to get in the vehicle, he stops me again.

"What about us? What about everything we've been through?"

"What about trust?" I lean over on my car for some support, this baby is causing my back to ache. All that walking energized her in some strange way. Melody is definitely not a fan of all this stress. I actually feel my blood pressure rising and the urge to throw up.

"You know I never wanted to hurt you."

"But, you did and out of every single person in the world, I thought you'd be the last person to do make me feel like I meant nothing. You were the only person in the world who used to treat me like a regular human being. I thought dating you would be like our friendship, natural and easy. We just need some time."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. You'll be okay."

"Why do you have to go?"

"I've got to do what's best for me and my baby. We don't just belong in your world at this particular moment. You've got so much happening for you. And, I'm so proud of you, I am. I've always been you're number one cheerleader, but at least for now I can't be. I'll still love you even after I drive away. I got to leave. But, I'll miss you."

In an minute, I am leaving James in my rear view mirror.


	38. Need You Now

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Need You Now - Lady Antebellum_

As if I needed another downer, Entertainment Tonight already has a news story going about us: _BIG TIME BREAK-UP? James and Sawyer seen having a dispute._

_"Is our newest favorite couple already on the splits? Seems so. A few sources confirmed that James and Sawyer are not in contact, but no talks of a break up confirmed. Let's hope that it's not true. But with James's new cover of Ronnie Milsap's song I Wouldn't Have Missed It For The World kind of leaves us in doubt. Here's a small clip of the heart breaking cover."_

The screen changes to James's studio. He looks rough with his hair unkempt and eyes desperate for sleep. Obviously the video is just one of his buddy's videoing a recording session.

_\- "Our paths may never cross again. Maybe my heart will never mend, but I'm glad for all the good times 'cause you brought me so much sunshine. And love was the best it's ever been. __I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Wouldn't have missed lovin' you, Girl. You've made my whole life worthwhile with your smile. I wouldn't trade one memory 'cause you mean too much to me. Even though I lost you, girl, I wouldn't have missed it for the world."_

When the reporter takes the screen back, she's dabbing her eyes.

_"Well, I'm not sure about Sawyer, but I'd be running back as quickly as possible to James. Such a sweet boy. And, I wonder what's going on with the baby. We've reached out to him with no reply. In other news-"_

As if waiting around Logan's house is gonna make things alright, I just lay on the couch and mindlessly stare ahead. Trying to figure out how I've managed to make it a whole 11 days without any contact from James, I'd have better luck with calculus. Never, for as long as we've been friends, have we ever gone more than 48 hours without talking to each other.

"You know, you shouldn't space out so much. It could be dangerous." Logan waves his hand in front of my face. "What're you thinking about, Bug?"

"James. Of course." I rub my hand down my belly and sigh. "I'm just wondering if I made the right decision. Wondering if he'll call again."

"You might need to accept that he might not want to. After what's been said, you two might just not make amends. You know that I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, just trying to prepare you for the reality. And, what's been said is nothing more than I tried to warn you about from the beginning."

While making a conscience effort to not cry, I reply. "Yeah. You were right."

"But, hey. You still have me." He reaches over and pokes my arm in the annoying brother way.

"I think I'm gonna do some cleaning to get my mind off of things." I lay my head back.

"But, it's like 12:30 at night."

"You don't go to sleep until the late morning anyways."

"True. Anyways, I just wanted to come get some snacks for me and Kendall. All this songwriting is getting a little tiring."

Sleeping hasn't really been an option of late. Too much stress, too much to think about, and too much movement from the inside. So, instead of sleeping, tonight I am cleaning. Especially getting caught up on laundry. While the laundry is spinning out, I'm going through the boxes in the spare room. They're mostly just boxes of clothes that need to be donated. No junk that I can go through.

"Hey, Little Bit." Logan glides by the laundry room with a notebook and pencil in hand. I thought he passed, and tried to return to folding, but he sticks his head in the door. "What rhymes with _'twirl'_ ?"

Caught off-guard by the question, it takes a minute to think "Pearl, curl, swirl, girl, hurl; are any of those alright?"

"Yes. Thank you." He scribbles a note down then continues on his way.

_\- "Sitting here alone thinking it through. Trying to convince myself that I'm not losing you. Why can't you just forget the things I said. I was angry at the time, but now I've cleared my head. It was so strong. So, where did it all go wrong?" (Losing You - Busted)_

Ugh. Stupid song.

I pick up my phone, change the tune, and toss it on top of my freshly folded clothes.

_\- "__I still remember the look on your face. __Lit through the darkness at 1:58. __The words that you whispered f__or just us to know. __You told me you loved me, s__o why did you go away?"_

Whatever.

_\- "I do recall now the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement. I ran off the plane that July 9th. The beat of your heart; it jumps through your shirt. I can still feel your arms."_

Okay. You can do this. Just make it to your room then you'll be okay. Stiff upper lip.

I snatch up my basket and head towards my open room.

_\- "But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes. All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss."_

I shove the laundry on my desk and knock over my book of pictures. All around the floor memories are scattered. Even the ones of James. I ease down to my knees to pick up the pictures.

_\- "I never thought we'd have a last kiss."_

Seeing all the good times spread out across the floor is more than I can bare; my body crumbles forward and sits hunched over with face in hands.

Oh, why does this have to hurt so bad?

Does the thought of me even cross his mind? He's always on mine.

Then I snatch my phone up, unable to bare the pain anymore. Not that my fingers and brain work together, so numbly the phone slides out my hand to clatter across the floor.

"What is going on in here?" Kendall steps into door frame. "Are you okay?"

In a very soft way, he comes over taking me by the arm. "Did you fall or do you just need to sit on the floor for a while and listen to Taylor Swift for a few hours? Or whatever it is that you like to listen to."

"Just going out for a few hours. I can't stand to be here... Could you help me up?"

"'Course." We lock hands then I push off the ground.

"Thanks."

* * *

_**/James POV/**_

I'm such an idiot.

I'll never get her back.

With another sip of whiskey, and staring at the door, a thought wonders through my mind; why can't she just tumble through the door like always? She needs too. I need her to.

Does she think of me?

I'm not strong enough to be without her.

She's been my stronghold for so long, even before we were together, as a couple. Since the day I met her, since we became best friends, and especially since we started planning a life together, never did I imagine having to live without her. Through all my good and bad times, it's been her.

That's my girl.

With a sudden flare of anger, I fling the little blue box that contained the ring intended for Sawyer in it.

I push my way to my feet but nearly take the fall back down. All around the house are little memory markers of her. A sweater on the back of the couch, magazines on the table, shoes strewn down the hall, make-up on the bathroom counter, several dresses hanging on the closet door, her books on the nightstand, and then (kind of the biggie) the nursery.

Why did I have to be such an idiot?

We were so happy. Life couldn't have turned out better if we were personally being written by Nicholas Sparks.

My hand traces the painted letters of Melody's name above the crib.

They are my whole world, how am I supposed to find out who I am without them? I am no one when they're gone.

All my friends want me to talk about it, 'make a good song out of a bad situation'. Well, it's not like I've not had inspiration, I'm just not giving it to them. This heart ache is not their's.

My fingers trace the painted letters of Melody's name on the crib.

What does it mean that we need to find out who we are without each other? I am nothing with her, that wasn't a lesson that was needing to be learned. Melody and Sawyer are my very reason for being alive.

Who would ever believe that I could be so rightly wrapped around a size 7 finger? I would've done anything for her.

Why did I have to lose her?

Will I ever get her back?

* * *

**_/Cyrus POV/_**

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Move out of the way, Bernie." I shuffle to the pounding front door while trying to not step on the dog. "Who is it?"

"Just let me in. Please. Open the door."

"Sawyer? Is that you? What are you doing out this time of night?" I swing the door open. She has one hand on the door frame, one under her belly, and the mascara all down her face. "Oh my g-. Are you okay? Is it the baby? Are you-?"

I take her by the arm to lead her in.

"I really screwed up this time. We'll never be able to fix this."

"Stop. Stop. Stop. Take a breath. Calm yourself. I can't understand you."

She continues to mumble out tearful words and I was only able to piece together a few things: James, fight, driving, and sick. This is the second time within a month that she's been to my house to cry over that loser. Worst of all, she's blaming herself. Not that I know much about pregnant women, but I do know that they're not supposed to get this terribly upset.

She's so worked up that she can barely breathe.

"There, there. Now, what are you so upset about?"

She takes me in hug, pressing herself as close as possible. Not that I'm sure if it's the right response but the hug is reciprocated to her. I had forgotten how great her hair smells, the sweet coconut oil scent fills my nose.

What happens next is totally driven from an old habit, I place a small kiss on her shoulder then neck.

After that occurred, it hit me that I wasn't supposed to do that. She might think I'm trying to make a move in her time of vulnerability. But no. Nothing happens, she only cuddles her head under chin.

"Just hold me." Her voice comes across hoarse.

How long has she been crying?

From her very pregnant belly, the little girl thumps around probably wondering what all the commotion is. I know that, in no way, should there be no joy derived from someone else's pain, but how could I not smile?

It seems like possibly five minute pass with her letting me just hold her up.

"Would you like to go sit down for a while? You're swaying like you're tired."

A little grunt of agreement is the answer that I accept.

Once I get her into my couch, she glances up at me.

"I don't wanna be alone."

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

"I don't wanna be alone." I hold on his hand so that he won't slip away.

"What do you want me to do?" He questions but answers his own question by sliding on the couch by me.

I remember so well when the thought of never looking into his blue eyes again tormented me. Even now, they shine as concern floods around his irises. Part of me secretly wishes that Melody will have his bright blues, it's the kind of eyes that people write and sing about in songs.

"About two weeks ago ... I broke up with James for his own well-being. Our worlds are just too different... I don't see how we could've made it."

"What are you talking about?"

"He has things that are important to him and what is important to me is something completely different. Our careers just pulled us in different directions-."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that."

"Don't start with me. I'm hurting. And, I don't wanna talk about it. Distract me." I plead.

Cyrus turns about the room, searching for the right point of topic then finally reaches over to hand me a book of paint colors.

"I'm going to turn my old room into a room for the baby but not sure what color would be good. Pink seems kind of typical, didn't think you'd like that. You know that I've never been too great at decorating or home-making. Remember? You always did that sort of thing."

The look on my face must've been dumb because he begins to retract the booklet, but I stop him.

"You really have changed." My hand slide over his cheek with my thumb resting at the corner of his mouth. By the look of his extremely tossled blonde hair, he's been working hard. As if the dark circles under his eyes weren't enough to tell me that he's been up all night studying.

What if Melody looks just like him?

At such an emotional time in my life, someone should be making my decisions for me, because I seem to make more and more bad ones. Especially when I lean forward, causing Cyrus to lean back a little then slid my other hand through the hair on the back of his head; topping it off with a kiss on the cheek.


	39. No Life After You

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song - No Life After You - Daughtry_

"Sawyer."

A pain seeps through my body; either from actual pain or guilt, I'm not sure.

My brain can't even focus.

I turn my head away so he can't see the tears trying to push through.

"I love you. You know I always will, but James has decided to love you and our baby as his own. Right now, for whatever reason, you're upset. I know that you love James. Let's not do something regrettable. Believe me, nearly everything - every fiber of my being wants to have you back. But, honestly, I wouldn't be a man if I took you away from someone who loves you and you love back."

Alright. No need to beat around the bush; he struck a nerve.

Cyrus has always been good at that though.

I lean over to his shoulder and cry. He wraps his arms around me and pets my hair.

"Sawyer, if James doesn't take you back, he would be a fool."

I twist the back of his shirt and continue to sob.

"But, I thought he really loved me. Now, I don't know what to do. I wasn't too bad off after you dumped me, but with my best friend, James, I don't know. I pushed him so far away. He'll probably never even talk to me again. I don't know how to live without James."

When I try to stand up (the queasy feeling in me is rising to my throat) I almost fall back over, but Cyrus catches me. I cringe.

"Woah. Careful."

"I think I'm just disoriented from the crying."

"I want to be here for you and our baby, you know that. You also know that James loves you, he even told you why he said what he said. You just need to get this crying out of your system and go talk to him."

"I already know that." I lay my cheek against his shoulder while he lays his head on top of mine. "I know all of that already. But, I want to -. I want-. Well, then. I guess I don't know what I want. But, I love him so much. What is the right thing to do?"

Just like James would, Cyrus trickles his fingers across my belly that has started becoming the center of the pain. I wrap my arm across his back for support.

"Are you feeling the baby move? Gosh. She's jabbing me as hard as possible."

"I don't feel anything."

Soon I tense again for the pain.

"There's no way you can't feel that. Don't joke with me."

"Sawyer, are you alright?"

"Oh man. Get me to the car."

With a lot more ease than I thought should be possible, he sweeps me up bridal style and grabs his keys.

* * *

_**/James POV/**_

I take off running.

For all I am worth, I run. Running like 1,000 demons are on my trial.

"Please. Sawyer Henderson-. Pregnant-. My girlfriend-." I can't make whole sentences to the nurse at the station.

"Take the elevator to the third floor." She says.

"Thanks."

The elevator ride was horrible, I was freaking out about how slow the thing was going. Finally the doors open and I run, but stop and ask for directions once more. I take a deep breath.

I hope she won't kick me out.

But something is wrong with our baby.

"What are you doing here?" Logan's voice is a low growl behind me. I turn to look in the room.

"I'm sorry. Is she okay? What did the doctors say? How is the baby? Can I see her?"

Before I realize what happened, a fist nearly knocks me to the ground.

"Logan!" I yell.

"I warned you! After what happened with Cyrus. I told you that you could only date her if you would never hurt her! But here we are, just like I promised!" Logan yells. I attempt to set my jaw straight without pain.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it."

"Yeah. That's what they all say! Just wait until I get a hold of you! You're going to wish you were never born! That pretty face isn't going to be pretty long!"

"If you would give a chance to explain then you would understand! But no one is ever right but you! You're so hard-headed!"

"Shut up!" A third voice yells at us. When the owner of the voice appears, I nearly saw red. "What are you thinking? As if she's not stressed enough. Let's all start bickering."

"What are you doing here? Why did Kendall have to send me a message? Why didn't you call me, Logan?"

"I brought Sawyer to the hospital." Cyrus butts in.

"Why was she even with you? You know what, don't answer that. I just want to know whether or not my baby is okay."

"For your information, she was at me house crying and telling me how much she loves you. She has been under so much stress that she might have went into early labor."

A few explicit words seep from my mouth as I lean against the wall.

For a few minutes, us three boys stand in a lop-sided circle; I guess trying to figure out what to do to help Sawyer.

"Logan?" A voice, weak from crying, flows from the crack of the door. But, soon another more urgent call. "Logan."

"Yeah?" He turns and tries to shut the door on me.

"I didn't know where you were-. Is that James?"

"Is the pain getting bad again?"

"Yes, but let James in. I want him in here. Don't argue with me. I can't handle it right now. I need to talk to him alone. Please."

With a prejudice look on his face, he swings the door open and exits with a mumble telling me to go in.

I practically trip over my feet to get over there and take her hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry, James." Tears streak across her face. "I overreacted and it was so stupid-."

"Stop talking."

I put my lips to hers, the feeling that has been long built up over the weeks without her. Thrillingly, she accepted and returned the favor.

"How's our baby?" My hand finally makes it to her belly.

With more tears and a quivering bottom lip. "I don't know."

"There's no excuse for what I did or said. You have to know that I love our baby girl. I always want to be here with you, with her. And, any other additions that may come along in the future." I take a seat on the bed and hold her hand to my lips.

"Really?" She asks.

"Yes." I look longingly at her. I put my forehead against hers and she leans to hug me. A wet spot from my shoulder from her teary cheek. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Please. Forgive me."

"Let's forget about this." Her body begins to tense and she grips my shirt tightly. "Holy-. The nurse supposedly gave me something to calm down and sleep so these stupid things would stop."

"Is there anything you need?" I release my hold on her to look at her face again.

"Just this pain to go away."

"What will happen if it doesn't?" My thumb strokes over the wet cheek.

"We will be having a baby. But, I have total confidence that this will work and we'll go home in the morning."

We watch as we can see tiny little nudges from under her belly.

Please, let everything be alright.

My lips softly touch the top of her knuckles then I open her hand and place it against my cheek; treasuring the warmth.

"Will you stay in here with me until I go to sleep? I don't want to be alone."

"I'll stay with you forever." I scoot down to where my arms can wrap around her. Sawyer flips over and faces toward me with my eyes closed.

She holds my shirt like a terrified child.

"James."

I whisper in the smallest voice manageable. "Yeah?"

Her head rest in the nape of my neck.

"I'm really scared."

"Everything is going to be okay. Our girl is gonna be alright. You just need to try to sleep."

"When I thought you never were gonna be a part of my life again-."

"Hold on there. Why would you think that? How could I not think of you? I planned on spending my life with you. We redecorated our house so that it became a home. How could you not be on my mind every second of every day? Everything reminds me of you. I totally turned my life upside down to convince you that we should be together and raise our baby together. We've come too far to call it quits. My whole life is centered about you and Melody. Don't think for moment that I won't put up a fight for you."

Her cries have softened to little sniffles.

"Please, Baby, calm down. Everything will be fine."

"I just want to go home."

"Soon. Either with a baby or we'll wait a little while longer for her."

"Hopefully, she'll wait. I've got some recon to do with her daddy before she arrives."

Thea's soft hand slide up my chest, over my neck, and plays with the ends of my hair. When I open my eyes, hers are cringed shut. Possibly another pain. The next second, we're both leaning our foreheads together.

* * *

_Author's Thoughts:_

_Alright, Dearies. I'd like to hear some of your thoughts and concerns. With the lack of reviews, I'm not even sure if anyone keeps up with this story. Give me some tough love or something to think about. Wanna see something happen in the story? Think that Sawyer and James are just too unrealistic? Think Cyrus deserves another chance? I love a good challenge!_

_Thank you for your consideration._

_-K-OfTheSouthernIsles._


	40. It's All Coming Back To Me Now

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Celine Dion_

A knock comes to the door sometime in the night, when I had finally gotten to sleep. I awoke with James's hand resting on my cheek. He's so beautiful when he's sleeping. I wouldn't say like an angel, because his mouth is slightly open enough to sometimes drool.

"Come in."

With that James's eyes fight to open. "What? You 'kay?"

This may sound stupid, but his little mumbles mean more to me than I ever realized.

"Yes. It's just the nurse. You can go back to sleep."

"I'm awake." He lies, trying to force it.

The nurse wasn't here more than five minutes; only to ask questions that I gave positive answers to.

Yes, the contractions have stopped.

No, I'm not lying.

Honestly, I just feel tired now.

The entire time I talk to the nurse, James alternately pets my hair and cheek. Shortly after the questionnaire, we're left to our own selves. I have to admit that I had forgotten just how good it all felt to be doted on and loved by James.

Soft little kisses and tender touches are shared as we try to make up for lost time.

There was a time (not so long ago) when I dreaded waking up and going to bed, because I wasn't with James. All my nights were spent having nightmares about losing him.

Memories flash of how happy we always have been together.

How could I think that I could be happy without him?

We are, honest to goodness- no kidding- hand to God, made for each other.

It's all coming back to me now.

* * *

**_/James POV/_**

_(Sort of incorporating the song T-shirt by Rhett Thomas here) _

Getting home around 7:30 is a blessing. It seems like the entire nursing staff asked Sawyer to stay another night, but she insisted that being at home would help her relax. I think that she became worried that reporters would soon encamp the hospital.

Logan nearly had a break down when she announced that she would be coming home with me, but in the interest of keeping his sister and niece safe, he let it slide. I mean, I know that I don't deserve this second chance, but she gave it to me and I will show her that I will never hurt her again.

When we get home, she tells me that if she doesn't scrub the hospital off, she'd go crazy.

After my shower and a change of clothes, I head up to open the bathroom she was showering in. When the vanity is visible, I set some clothes down for Thea. "I brought you some clothes. Come downstairs when you're dressed."

The sharp inhale she made lead me to believe that she didn't expect me to actually walk in there where she is showering.

"Thank you. I'll be down in a second."

"Alright." I depart and head back to sit down at the piano to play a soft _Claire De Lune_. The rain is continuing outside, sort of developing in to a thunderstorm.

Fox has been more than happy to have Thea back in the house for the whole hour that it's been. In fact, he's sitting in the bathroom on the rug, not leaving her side. I wonder if he thinks he can't see her if she'll disappear again.

If I didn't know better, I'd have the same fear. But, who is to say that I'm not scared of that anyway.

Soft padding of feet sound on the floor and a little pant, slowly approaching me. Before long, Thea's hand touches my hair, fingers weave in and out of it and her belly rests against my back. Still, my fingers trickle back and forth over the ivory keys.

How can it be that I can't function without this girl?

"Cuddle with me? On the couch?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

I take her by the hand and lead the way. Only now realizing that she's wearing just my t-shirt. She lowers slowly and I ease her back to lay against me, between my legs. Her showered warm skin feels real nice. Wind begins to howl, thunder crashing, and lightening striking, but we remain as so. My back rests on the arm of the couch, her head on my shoulder, and we each have a hand resting on the under side of her belly. The tip of my chin lays by her temple.

"We started something that I'm sure that we can't stop. Most everyone told us that we would never make it, and for a brief while we even doubted ourselves. It sucked, but we pulled through. There's just so much unpredictability in ours lives. It's going to be tough, but so far, I believe that it's been worth it." She says. "You're honestly, the one that I want to be with. Cheesy as it sounds, it's true. No one else would rub my swollen, ugly feet."

She giggles so preciously that I quite actually feel like I want to give her the entire world.

"Promise, we'll never fight like that ever again."

"Promise."

"I never will let you go." I kiss the side of her forehead and moments later felt Melody start to move about. "I think she agrees with us. Don't you think so?"

"Well, it's not that. She always does that when you kiss me or talk to her. Or, when I look at you."

"She knows that her daddy loves her so much and she's tired of being cramped in there. Mel wants to meet me officially." I smile and chuckle.

"Oh, well she's got three more months to go, so she just needs to get over it. You hear me, Melody? Don't take it out on me. Oh, yes, kick harder. That's totally what I meant."

"I love you." I lay my lips by her ear and speak lightly. "I'm so sorry for those hurtful things I said. I thought I lost you. That scared me worse than anything ever in life." My arms bring her closer.

"I don't think we could ever lose each other. Together or not, you're my best friend and I love you very much. I don't think that I could ever find someone like you. In fact, I know I couldn't."

"I would never even try to find another you."

"Thank you. We appreciate that." She turns to put more weight on her right hip, obviously stirring the baby again. "I just don't even know where we'd be without you. This sounds so cliche', but doesn't everything we do? We're just the best for each other. It's creepy, even when we're mad, we just want to talk to each other about it so that we can get over it."

"I know."

My girl lets out a tiny moan.

"Oh, please, don't tell me that you're having contractions again. The nurses would love to rub it in our faces."

"No. Melody just won't rotate around. And, the only reason I slept last night was because the sedative. I've barely slept because of this awful headache."

My hands move to scratch her head. "It's probably just all the tension from us to the impending birth of our baby. Just know that everything alright now. I've got you."

"Did I tell you that I changed Melody's middle name?"

"No." When he readjusts her elbow jabs into my stomach. "Ouch."

"Oh, poor little you."

"You were telling me that you changed Melody's middle name?"

"Yes. Or maybe I'll rearrange the name. Melody Logan? Or Logan Melody?"

"So, we're naming her after your brother?"

"Well, yeah." Thea puts her head on my chest. "He's been my biggest supporter through my trying times. Plus, you know that Logan and I are really close. I feel like he should be honored. Though, I am sorry he's giving you a hard time and that he gave you that bruise."

"I probably would have done the same thing if I were in the situation. He's just being a good big brother. I can't believe that in six weeks time, we'll be holding our little girl. Whatever her name is by then."

My hands have found their way to her bare belly and I can feel Thea slowly relaxing into me.

Of a sudden, she turns over on her side, almost on her belly. The electric tension between our eyes lingers for a few moments. My hand brushes across her face to bring it closer to mine. Her Oreo-milkshake smelling breath beats down against my cheek. Then I taste the Oreo on my own lips.

"I want to feel this way forever."

"Then let's... Hold on. Let me up." I slip from underneath her body and frantically start search on the floor for the ring I flung a few weeks ago.

"What are you doing?"

My arm slides under the couch and comes in contact with the box. Swiftly I drag it out and open it up. Thankfully the ring is in it.

"Now, you must understand that this is not at all how I planned on doing this." Okay. Words don't fail me now. "I want to give you and our daughter the world. Anything I get, I want you have it. All that you are is everything that I need. I couldn't ask for more than you. It doesn't matter if I lost everything, as long as I have you, I'd could be any happier. So, even though we're not on a boat in the middle of a river in Paris, like I originally planned. But, Baby, will you spend the rest of your life with me?"

I'm not going to lie, the way she sighed scared me, then a little smile crept across her face.

"I don't see why not."


	41. Stay Stay Stay

_**/Sawyer POV/**_

_Chapter Song: Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift_

"My Beauty, are you getting up today?" James comes into the room after his morning shower and sits by me.

"No." I pull the blanket over my head.

"Why not?"

"I'm hoping that maybe if I ignore the sun, it won't come up."

"Logical." He pulls the blanket down enough to kiss my forehead. "You didn't get much sleep?"

"No." I cover his face with my hand.

"Oh, hateful this morning, are we?"

"Better believe it."

"Would some grapes or an apple make you less hateful?"

"Definitely not. But, maybe chocolate chip pancakes might."

"Is that really what you want?"

"I know it's not healthy. Save me the speech."

"I will. I have to get to set and today will be a long day; don't know when I'll be home. Kendall's been invited to come over so you won't be alone. I don't want you alone after yesterday. He said he'll make you a completely organic and healthy meal, to make me happy."

"I hate you. And, I don't need a babysitter."

"I love you. I know, but I don't want you to be alone in case something happens. I have got to get to work." He begins to get up and I pull him back.

"Nooooo. Don't leave me. I don't want you to go. Please." With his face so near mine, I kiss him. "Think of the baby. She doesn't want you to go." I press his hand to my belly.

"For someone who was as hateful as a hornet two minutes ago, you've sure turned around." His smile makes me smile, but I fake another pout.

"You know I was playing."

"Yes, I did. I don't wanna leave either, but have to. Sorry. Sorry, Little Lady. I'll make it up to you somehow. Love you, Guys. See you tonight. Hopefully." He kisses my belly and then me.

The new ring on my finger catches my eye and I bring it closer to observe it in the daylight. This ridiculous smile spreads on James's face.

"Do you like it?"

"Don't be silly. I love it. I love you."

We kiss just once more and then he leaves.

* * *

Unintentionally, I fell back to sleep after James left, but a little later a smell floating around the air wakes me up. Then music flows by my ears.

Crap.

Forgot that I was expecting Kendall.

"Kendall?" I leave my bed and walk down to find him. "Kendall."

"What?" He pops in the door that leads to the backyard.

"Jeez!" I jump and hold onto the wall to avoid falling. "What is the matter with you? You just can't pop up out of nowhere and freaking scare me to death! Good Lord."

"I'm sorry." He laughs. "I was just outside playing with Sissy and Fox. You okay though?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Alright, good. So, what's up? Why are you up? James said you didn't sleep last night." He continues into the house while Fox runs around the yard.

"I never was one for much sleep. What time is it anyways?"

"About 10:30, I have food cooking and should be ready by lunch time."

"Okay. It smells great, but if you don't want to stay and babysit me, you don't have to. I'm really okay. James is just a worry wort."

"I'm not here to babysit you. I'm here to hang out with my friend."

Fox comes in and greets me. I give him some more food then join Kendall and Sissy on the couch.

"Anything good?" I sit on the couch arm noticing his Twitter app open.

"Eh. Just 31 girls asking me out, 23 marriage proposals, and 12 offers to have my baby."

"Classy."

"Yeah." He turns to look up at me. "You look stressed. Everything okay? Is it something to do with the baby or something? We could talk to one of our moms if you want."

"It's not just the baby. I've not told James, but I'm thinking about taking some time off of work. Managing work and a newborn? Just don't see that happening. I know when I tell him that he'll freak out and offer to hire a babysitter, but I don't want that. I want to be with my daughter, ya know. But, James won't want me to stop with all the progress-." I swear, I suffer from word vomit.

"Yeah. I get you, but James should be cool with that. Talk to him. I see what you're saying though."

"Thanks."

"Let's get your mind off of these things. We have some jambalaya to make! James told me you're into spicy foods right now. Does that sound good to you? If not, we can pick up something else."

"That actually sounds perfect."

"So, how is it? The whole growing a human inside of you thing."

"Being pregnant?"

"That's one way of saying it." He scrunches his nose and smiles with those dimples.

"Being pregnant is something else. I'm excited though. I'm not sure if James has told you yet, but we named her. Melody Logan."

"Oh, I really like that. I bet Logan is over the moon."

"Well, he doesn't know. It's a surprise."

"Oh, so you shouldn't have told me. I have the worst track record with keeping secrets."

"You'll be fine. Come on."

"Actually, James said that you shouldn't be doing much. How about I put on a movie or something?"

"I'm not going to argue with you two, I'm actually wiped out. I'll just find something on Netflix."

"Okay. I'mma go check on the food."

It takes all of a few clicks to decide what to watch, but Kendall had to have a laugh.

"You still watch this movie? You and I would watch it way back when!"

"I still love it."

"Yeah. You love Brad Pitt. That's the long and short of that. I haven't watched Legends Of The Fall since like- shoot- I don't even know. And, I guess you should know that all we're supposed to go to your mom's for dinner. She called a family meeting."

"Why am I not surprised?" I fall over into a pillow, laying across the couch.

* * *

**_/Later at Momma's/_**

_(Who I Am - Jessica Andrews)_

"Hey, Momma." I smile when she opens the door.

"Oh, Sawyer. Thanks for coming to help me, Baby. I'm reaching my patience's end." We hug briefly before I am lead to the kitchen. I made it clear instructions that Mom nor Dad was to know about the hospital incident. "Your dad has made a run to the store with Presley. Logan is going to pick up Grandma in a little bit. We've got to get a little fire under us. But, do tell me about the baby. How is my granddaughter?"

I pick up an apron and tie my hair back. "She is doing great. She possibly wore herself out last night and has been resting all day. Awakening to re-position then rest a little more."

"Oh. I remember the days." She pulls food to be prepared from the cabinets along with bowls and utensils. I do my best to fib around the hospital subject.

"So descriptive. Well, can you start on the potatoes? Get them ready to be baked. Will James be able to join us? I know that Logan said Kendall will. "

I take the sack of potatoes and bowl over to the sink. "James said he will be here unless work prevents him. He's on set today. Which I doubt that they'll be able to keep him one second over what they're supposed to."

"You two are the much in love?" Momma wags her eyebrows at me while she starts to get together ingredients for the blue velvet cake that has becomes a real sensation in the family recently.

"Well, yes and no." I turn the water on and dip the vegetables in the bowl. It wasn't until then I realized that I hadn't told anyone of my engagement.

After putting the potatoes in aluminum foil jackets and setting them to the side; I make a brownie mix. Due to all my thoughts running through my head, I didn't notice the silence.

"Hey, Momma. Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, I'm just at a point where I don't know what to do anymore. I am stuck. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am. There's been so much change."

"You don't know who you are? Good thing that I do. You are Sawyer Theophilia Henderson. You are the spitting image of your father. You are Maria's granddaughter. You're both a big and little sister. Soon, you're going to be a mom." She walks over beside me with a smile and hugs my shoulders. "And, I love you very much and am so proud of you."

"You forgot to mention that I'm gonna be a wife." I try to play into the conversation.

"What?"

* * *

**_/Later On/_**

My mother, grandmother, and sister all gush about details of weddings that I'm not even sure knew existed. They practically have the whole thing planned; venue, guest list, dress style, colors, and cake. All I contributed was that I demand to control music.

"Logan. Get out of the marshmallows, or so help me God. Get going." Mom whacks him on the arm with a spatula. He gets another handful of treats before getting away. "You rotten thing."

"Well, I'm trying to eat the sweets in hopes that I won't be so rotten."

"Well, go eat the bag of M&amp;M's that you snagged earlier."

"Woah! How did you see that?"

"I am a mom. I have eyes in the back of my head."

"Yeah. Yeah." He turns his nose up and walks away. I check my phone. I still haven't heard from James. Could his phone have died?

"So, Sawyer will soon that power?" Kendall speaks up as he and Presley set up the table.

"Maybe." I smile.

"Well, being a grandma, you have vision all around. You have to see what your kids, your husband, and the grandkids are doing." Granny Maria says.

"I look forward to that." Mom laughs.

There's nothing special about tonight. Just a little get together, but I wish James were here. And, I can't reach the stupid powered sugar. Despite how it feels like I'm standing on the tip of my toes.

"Let me help." Kendall swoops by and comes to my aide.

"Thank you."

"No problem." He smiles and buzzes off again.

We start to set up the food on the table, cleaning up the counters and some of the dishes as we go. Looking around, I'm in love with what I see. The air even seems just so familiar and welcoming. The people I love are laughing. This is who I am. I am a person who is composed of small moments like this that I will always remember.

"Okay, Troops. Start falling in." Dad calls out. They don't waste time when food is involved. I am the last standing and about to sit when there's a knock at the door.

"I got it." I walk down the hall to the front door.

My heart floods when I see James with a bouquet of flowers.

"I'm sorry I'm late."

"You're just in time." I pull him in the door and kiss him.


	42. Wasted Time

**_Author's Note:_**

_I realize that I posted the wrong chapter. Now, I'm posting the right one._

* * *

**_/Sawyer POV/_**

_Chapter Song: Wasted Time - Keith Urban_

"Wanna go to the beach today?"

The pure look of sheer disbelief that I receive should have been recorded and sent to AFV.

"What makes you think that after yesterday I'll let you do anything aside from scratching your nose?"

"I've not been in a while. Just me and you. No one else. Please, Baby." I crawl over to the end of the couch and lean on the back next to the piano where James sits. Only the raising of one eyebrow greets me. "Surfing will help you relax too. You need that."

"I'm not sure who you think you're kidding."

"Yesterday was due to stress. We need some time away from it all. Leave our phones, tablets, and computers off for 12 hours. Let's make today just about us."

"That can be done without leaving the house."

Okay. I'm a grown woman and don't need his permission.

My hands push against the seat of the sofa, but that still didn't help me to my feet. Alright. Try this again.

One, two, and -.

Two hands slip under my arms to assist me.

"Thank ya, Babe." I wander through the house to find a swimsuit. James and I do not have a specific location for anything that we own, it's all just a jumbled game of "Hope You Can Remember Where You Saw It Last". Very much to my ease, the swimsuits are hanging off the back porch railing. They've probably hung there since the last time we went swimming.

This one-piece is a dream come true. No worries if my belly will stick out or of my boobs will slip out from underneath. Plus, it's so easy to slide on.

It's so convenient to be lazy because my beach bag is still together in the back of my car; all that I actually need is my sunglasses and a book.

"Uhm. Where are you off to?" James inquires as I slip a cotton sundress over my head.

"To the beach. Like I said."

"I thought that I said you shouldn't go."

"Oh, you did. But I also am quite capable of making my own mind up." My hands reach for my keys as he beats me to them. "James David Maslow. Give me the keys."

He stuffs a kiss to my lips. "Give me two minutes to get ready. Don't leave without me."

* * *

"You know, I appreciate that you're not staring at the pack of Malibu Barbie girls over there, Well, not that I've seen. But I wouldn't mind if you did. I'm not much to look at, so whatever joy that you can get; I want you to have."

"Okay. Phew. I'm so glad that you gave me permission. Because there's one that I can't keep my mind or eyes off of."

"Oh yeah, huh?"

"Yeah. The one wearing the -uh- bright sunshine yellow one-piece. Oh man. I think that girl is the love of my life." He turns on his side, letting one hand rub my shoulder. "I think I wanna marry her. And have a beautiful baby girl."

"Maybe you should ask her first." I bite my lip, trying to keep my smile at bay.

"I already did." He lays a kiss on my forehead. "And, she said 'yes'."

"You are positively the best thing that has ever been mine."

He giggles, trying to kiss me again, but I'm laughing so his lips land on the corner of my mouth. My arm drapes around his neck and he slowly kisses around my face before taking a stop to look in my eyes.

"If you don't stop I'm gonn-. Girl, you're gonna-." I interject a kiss. "You're gonna get us in trouble for public indecency. Won't that be great for the tabloids?"

We both chuckle.

"They don't matter."

His hands squeeze my cheeks together; causing my lips to pucker like a fish.

"Fishy lips."

I, in turn, squeeze my arms around his shoulders and kiss his face. All he can do is hold my back so I don't fall backwards.

Small and insignificant as this may all seem, I believe that one day this'll be a day I think about often. Knowing this crazy life that we live, the few moments of clarity are few and far between.

"Whataya got going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Just thinking that I hope we'll always be this happy."

"Of course we will. But, if the time should come when we're not getting along, I'll love you. No matter what. Even if we're fighting, just know that I am waiting for us to stop so that I can kiss you, hold you, hug you, and squish your face." Seemingly, we both had the same thought to glance at my new ring. "I can not wait to marry you. I can not wait for you to have our baby."

"I can not wait for that pizza that we're about to order." I pucker up again and push up from my elbows. "And, how about some tea? Or, why don't we go see your dad? That could be fun."

"That seems like a good idea, but I believe we should take it slow for a while and stay close to home. Okay? Why don't we have Cyrus and my dad over for dinner?"

"Oh my gosh, really?" It kind of slips out.

"Yeah. Since we're a family, we need to get along. Both Cyrus and my dad are gonna be key parts of our baby's life and they should get to know each other now. It's important that we're actually united before she's born."

* * *

"Would you shut up and hand me a lid?"

"Whateves, Pregs." Cyrus lifts a Tupperware lid from the top shelf for me.

"Thank you for helping with the dishes, Boys. As for me, I think me and the baby are gonna sit down."

James and Cyrus both nod.

"Are you kids sure I can't help?" James's dad wonders back from the living room. "Now, what am I seeing? James, did I not raise you better? Why is Sawyer doing the housework? A pregnant lady shouldn't do a thing unless it's propping her feet up."

"I tried to tell her, Dad. She wouldn't have it."

"Come along, Sawyer, we'll talk in here."

"Alright. Let me grab my drink." I pick up my tea and a basket of towels and shirts that needed to be folded. Instantly upon entering the room, Mike takes the basket and starts to work on it.

"Daddy Mike, you don't have to do that. It's my laundry."

"It's not gonna do me in to fold some clothes. Plus, I'd like to help."

"You're too sweet."

He sits on the couch with the basket while I lower down into the recliner. For a moment, I have to catch my breath.

"If this baby doesn't settle down I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I'm absolutely miserable."

"Oh you'll be okay. It won't be too much longer until we're all holding little Melody,"

"I think I might not like that name much anymore."

First, Cyrus walks through and sits on the end of the couch nearest to me then James follows up bearing his own cup of tea. Both boys take to folding.

"I don't know who any of you are or what you've done with my family. Why are you all being so helpful and kind?"

"Because you really scared us yesterday."

"We're fine now." Perhaps the baby didn't like the warmth of cup but for some reason, a small foot started pressing through my tummy, "Oh, ouch."

Instinctively, I pull my shirt up.

"Would ya look at that? She's trying to kick her way through."

Cyrus leans over to poke the tiny foot. "Don't do that to your Momma. She likes her insides inside of her. If you bust through then there'll be mess."

"Logical explain to a 8 and 1/2 month fetus."

"Did you just call our baby a fetus? How rude."

"I swear, I am not in the mood for your stupid wit right now, Cy."

After Cyrus's finger drifted away from my belly, so did the tiny foot. Not for too long though, it looks like a cheesy horror film the way my tummy stretches around. Granted, there's a almost ready-to-be-born baby on the other side, but I wasn't too sure I felt like pregnancy was a beautiful thing anymore. Come to think of it, it's really not; with the constipation, sleepless nights, every single old woman wanting to ask you thousands of questions while they freely stick their hands on the baby bump, shortness of breath, hemorrhoids, and the list goes on for miles.

"You're really flushed, are you alright?" James inquires from across the room. "Hey, Thea, are you okay?"

"I'm alright as I can be. Maybe, I might take a bath. Suddenly and with continued progression, I feel pretty bad. No need to break up the party though. I just need to rest. Thank you so much for coming together like this though. It means so much. I don't know where I'd be without any of you."

They all babble over each other for the length of time it took me to get from the the chair to the staircase.

"Goodnight, Fellas. Sweet dreams."


	43. Lessons Learned

_/Cyrus POV/_

_Chapter Song: Lessons Learned -Carrie Underwood_

"I hear you, Bernie." I moan trying to push through the sleep.

Why buy an alarm clock when you have a dog that has to use the bathroom every morning at six. Directly at six.

Every. Morning.

But, he's a very good dog. Incredibly big too. If there were a picture from when we first met, you'd hardly be able to tell it was the same dog. I view that a very good stepping stone towards raising a child. Of course, there's only a slight bit of difference between the two.

I prop open the back door and watch as the beagle spri out around the yard. The fresh air breezes through the nearly empty home. All that I've managed to acquire (mostly thanks to Sawyer) is a couch, coffee table, bed, microwave, fridge, a bed, folding table and chairs, and then I have my laptop. It's not much but that's okay. With the money I'm saving, I'm doing my own repairs around the house. And the rest will fall into place. Well, I really Grams furniture was supposed to be in storage, but Phil sold it, so once again; he made my life more difficult than it had to be.

After filling Bernie's food bowl, I head for the shower, then get dressed for work.

"It's time to come in, Bern."

My keys and wallet are right were I left them.

* * *

"I think these old women purposely break their cars apart to come see you, Cy. Maybe we should put you on a billboard to up business. Why don't you take your shirt off for poor Ms. Shawn out there?"

"Modest is hottest, Uncle." I toss a spare wrench at him as a way of shooing. "Where did LeAnne get off to? I thought I was supposed to be helping her with moving some old junk from around back. I've not been able to find her for a little while."

"She ran to the store to get us all some lunch."

"Oh, now you don't have to feed me." I begin to push myself out from underneath the car, but Uncle Kenny stopped me.

"Finish that car up right quick and then we'll be done for the day. And, Boy, you shame me. 'You don't have to feed me'. You're acting like we ain't family. Don't be so silly now."

Not that I'd say it to them, but really it is hard to feel like family just yet.; for over 10 years they were not part of my life.

Woah. It's hard to believe that Dad's been gone that long. He's been gone longer than I knew him.

"Alright, let Ms. Shawn know her car is ready." I roll out fully this time and walk over to the bathroom.

I turn the nozzle full blast then lower my head into the stream. The cold feels good. Refreshing.

The car starts up, I wait until I'm sure the over-touchy woman is gone before finishing washing my hands off as best as possible. Aunt LeAnne should be back by now, I hope so, I'm starved. A microwave meal is what I originally had in mind.

"Happy Birthday, Cyrus!"

I will not lie and say that didn't scare me so bad I didn't stumble backward.

Kenny and LeAnne stand in front of me with a small store bought cake with a single candle burning on top.

"How did you even remember?"

"June 22nd is special. Don't think we didn't remember. That wicked mother of yours cut off all communication from us after marrying that man. Oh, don't think that we blame you. Of course not. When we lost you, we lost our world. Kenny and I doted on you since we couldn't - we couldn't have a baby of our may have been too young to remember, but you meant the world to us."

"I don't know what to say. You two are amazing. Thank you so much for all that you've done for me lately."

"We would've done it regardless, but when your Grams told us you needed help; well I don't think we'd been so happy in years!" LeAnne smiles ear to ear before reaching out to touch my arm. "Why don't you blow out your candle and we'll have some cake and ice cream?"

Gently, I blow out the flame and the two of them laugh heartily.

"I wanna go ahead and give your present to you." She sets the cake down and hands me a gift bag. The first item to pull out is a photo album. "Now, this is just a collection of everyone through the years. I figured when Grams told us your mother tossed you out like last weeks newspaper that you might like to learn what your dad's side of the family is like and where you came from."

We all move a few feet over and sit down in the folding chairs next to the workbench.

"You come from a whole line of crazy and your dad was the craziest. Would do things just for a sake of saying he did it. One time, he rode a sledge down a snow covered mountain in just his underwear. There's a picture of it too in that book. My brother was out of his mind! Of course, Kenny and him used to try to out-crazy each other. They were a nightmare together. I wished that you could have gotten to know him better."

"Me too, Aunt LeAnne. All the time I just want to ask him all these questions, like... how am I supposed to be a dad if I never had one? How am I gonna know what to do? I don't. Quite actually, I've already screwed up. I don't know what to do and I just wish he were here to help me."

Yes, it took me all this time to tell them about Sawyer and the baby but they deserve to know. Following up the little break down, I fill them in on my past few months. Turns out the news of an impending baby can actually shake up people in a good way. My aunt and uncle were overthrilled, even asked me to show them pictures.

It seemed like all the time we spent apart was nothing.

-Ringtone-

"Who's that?" LeAnne backs away dabbing her eyes.

"That's the girl I've been telling you about."

* * *

"You know when you said that you had an emergency this isn't what I had in mind."

Sawyer laughs and pushes my shoulder. "Did you really think that I had forgotten your birthday?"

"Will you hate me if I say that I did?"

"No. I'll just be a little sad."

"Don't be. Just know that you make me feel like the luckiest guy on the planet to have you as a friend. Thank you so much for all of this. And, thank you, James, I know you had a big part in all this. Also, thank you for being there for Sawyer when I wasn't . It seems like these last few months have been the biggest roller-coaster. Just let me know how I can repay you."

"You're welcome, Sweetie. We knew how hard you were trying to get all this together. There's no need to repay us. We're family."

"Hey, so tell me about your ride." James tries to place my interests elsewhere. "It's pretty nice, actually, just needs a new coat of paint. Possibly a rear view mirror if you don't want the cops to pull you over. Where did you get it?"

"Turns out my dad left it for me. My Uncle had it all this time parked out behind his garage, he kept it tuned up over time. I had only got possession of it for 30 minutes when you called."

"So, you haven't looked through the car yet?"

"No. Should I? I mean, his jacket is in the passengers seat, but I didn't see anything else."

"You should try it on. I bet your dad was super cool based off this car."

"I have a feeling that you and I are not on the same track. My dad was a music and science teacher. If you really think that I'm about to pull a leather jacket and some dark shades..." I open up the door and stretch across the seats then slip into the jacket. "Then you're right."

"Woah, look at you." James may have actually bought into his own nice act. Not that I don't think he was not sincere about becoming closer to be a family, but the niceties are definitely rolling along easier. "Hey, what's that you dropped?"

He bends over and hands me an envelope with my name scrawled across it.

_Cyrus Quinn Blake _

"Wonder what it is."

Should I open it?

Wait.

Did I actually say that aloud? For some reason I can't get my mouth to open.

These are the final words from my father to me.

No.

I slip the fat envelope over to Sawyer.

"You want me to open it?"

"Please." I turn and place my hands on the roof, trying to keep myself in check.

There a few things inside, but she pulls the letter out.

"_My baby boy Cyrus, well by the time you read this, you will not be a baby anymore. Hopefully, you are the still the wonder-filled young man that you've been as long as I've known you. Please, do not change. It's good to not be hard and rough. Now, I have other letters that will go into detail about things I wish I was there to tell you myself. You've been the best part of my life. I'm so thankful that I've spent the best 7 years with you. Your Uncle Kenny has promised to fill in my spot when I'm gone. I trust that up to this point he's kept that promise, seeing as you're reading this. When we knew things weren't getting better for me, I gave him instructions to give you my car and everything inside of it. I hope your mom is doing well. I have every confidence that she has someone new. Most likely someone rich. I would hope she would pick someone nice, but this is your mom we're talking about. Despite how crazy I was about her, she always aimed for better things in life. I'd like to imagine that at this point in your life you've made into college and have got a beautiful girl. I hope that this money I'm leaving you will help you start a life of your own. Or if you're so advanced that you've already got a place of your own, I hope this goes to making your life better. Perhaps paying some bills or student loans. But I'm not gonna be judgmental if you're the adventurous-hippie type, then take an amazing trip. Go travel. Get some life experiences. But, if you do have a special girl, this should buy a ring. Circling back to your mother; she doesn't know about this account. Only the lawyer who you need to contact will know about it. (all the information is written on the back of this letter). One more thing, Cyrus, don't let the world make you bitter. I hope when you think about me that you think of raising you to be a gentleman and not being mad that I left you. I didn't want to. I love you so much. Go live big. Love big too. Your daddy._"

She sets the page down and wraps me against her shoulder.

"It's okay to cry, Cy. It means you that you've been lucky enough to love someone."

"I'm so sorry, Sawyer. I made your life miserable because I didn't know how to deal. But I let my dad down. I failed him so horribly. He wanted me to have this carefree and adventurous life, but I just sit alone in my house making everyone I know hate me. I'd give anything to have him here."

"You're just being dramatic now. You know where you belong. You know who loves you. In a few weeks, possibly sooner, you're gonna have a baby girl. She'll most likely look just like you too. I bet it."

It's near impossible for me to breathe. All these emotions and surrpressed thoughts that have been boarded up for 10 years just came tumbling out.

All Sawyer can do was lean against the car to hold support the both of us.

I _**wish**_ I hadn't lost Sawyer. I want her to stay with me all night. I need her to hold me together. The way her arms feel around me,just feels so right? It so hard to believe that this feeling used to belong solely to me. Her chubby cheeks were mine to squish my face against. Our fingers fit together just right.

She was mine and I blew it.

"Cy, would you like to stay tonight? I don't want you alone. Please,stay."

I can almost feel a tremble in her hand.

Of course, it happened before I met Sawyer. And she probably is what kept me from trying again. Who'd have thought that a volunteer at a local rehab center and a new patient would stay up all night to watch Lord Of The Rings and end up falling in love?

"I don't wanna invade."

"Don't think that it was optional. I want you to -."

"I'll be fine. You know I have a reason to live now." I gently whisper and squeeze her tight. "You saved me again."

"I don't want you to be alone on your birthday."

"I'm a big boy."

"I know. You're 23, practically ancient." We laugh.

"Um. Not too long and you'll be 21. You're gonna have a baby before you're even legal drinking age. Living hardcore there, Little Bit."

"Well, I had a list of things to do before 21, getting pregnant by one man and getting engaged to a rockstar were definitely not on there, but I'm sure glad that they both happened." She extends a hand and smile to James. "But, I do think I need to sit. I've been standing for a while and our baby isn't liking it too at all."

"Go on in. I'm gonna head home."

She transfers over to James's side.

"Oh, Cyrus, come on."

"I gotta let Bernie out and he needs some cake."

She pulls me for one more hug. "Have a good night, Sweetie."

"You too. And James, thank you." I lend my hand over to shake James's.

"Sure thing. If you need anything, let us know."

"Will do."

"Now go tear up the road in your new wheels."

I rev up the engine after his suggestion.

"You most definitely do not need to that!"

Before her new sentence, I am out and away.

* * *

_**Bonus Content:**_

_Cyrus and Sawyer's Early Relationship_

_"Hi. You must be the new guy. I'm Sawyer, but the people around here, for some reason, like to call me Little Bit. What's your name?" _

_Great just what I need. Another middle aged-mother wanna be in my face telling me that life is worth living. _

_It's not gonna change my mind, so I lay there flat on my back and ignore her._

_"Well, I already know that your name is Cyrus. What do you like to do for fun?"_

_The woman sits on the end of the bed awaiting an answer._

_"I like to watch movies or solve puzzles."_

_"Well, solve this one, Why are you in my room?" I sit up to shoo the pest away. Much to my surprise, the voice is actually a young girl's. She has a look of bewilderment to oppose my look of shock._

_"So you do ."_

_"Yeah. What of it?"_

_"It'll make getting to know each other easier."_

_"What make you think I wanna know you?" I lean against the pillows. "I'm not here to make friends."_

_"No. You're here because you wanna die. Why's that?"_

_"If you think I'm gonna let you hear my story so you can critique it and try to fix me, then you're wrong."_

_"So you want another handful of pills to solve all your problems? Since they took your pills, you're just gonna starve yourself? You've been here for 3 days and not ate anything. If you keep refusing to eat, they're gonna strap you to bunch of machines that will keep you nourished, but trust me, that's no way to live."_

_This chick is seriously intense. _

_We both narrow our eyes at each other._

_"Do not sit there and judge me. You have no idea about my life."_

_"Apparently, you hate it. Why don't you tell me all about you over dinner?'_

_"You're insane."_

_"I guess I'll tell the doctor to get the feeding tube ready."_

_I growl quite loudly._

_"Bring me the food. Anything to make you shut up."_

_The peppy girl claps and bolts out the door._

_~~~~~~~~~~~**Six Months Later**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_"Little Bit, I thought you had forgot about me." She comes through my room door soaking wet. "Is it reallty raining that bad? Doesn't seem that bad.'_

_"The canopy awning burst over my head. Thankfully, I always have spare clothes in the car." _

_I hand her a towel and note the plastic bag in her hand.._

_"Oh, thank you." After wrapping her hair in the towel, she looks at me for the first time. "Are you okay? Oh no. Did something happen?"_

_"No. No. Everything is fine. It's wonderful actually. My doctor told me that he believes my therapy is really going better than planned. I'm allowed to have an evening out without supervision."_

_"Oh my goodness! Cyrus! This is so great! I'm so happy for you. Where are you gonna go? What will you do?" Her over eagerness and bouncy flair are what lead me to this moment._

_"Well, I was hoping you would let me take you on a date." _

"_You wanna go out with me? Why? I mean, I'm flattered. But, why?"_

_"So you don't want to?" My heart practically starting sinking into my stomach while I sit down on the bed. "I should have known you wouldn't wanna. Who'd wanna go out with a suicidal freak."_

_If I should've learned anything by this point, it was that Sawyer always had to have the last word._

_"I didn't say I didn't wanna go. All I asked was why would you wanna go out with me? Sure, you're in here for now, but you're gorgeous and once you're on your feet again, all the girls will be pining after you."_

_"So, you don't like competition?" I crack a smile._

_"I love it." She stands in front of my legs and takes my hand. Her skin is still cold from being out in the rain."Of course, I'll go out with you. Only as long as you promise to never call yourself 'suicidal freak' again, because you are passed that. You are strong now. You'll get stronger. I promise." _

_A feeling starts surging through my entire body like I haven't felt in a long time._

_Hope._

_Hope for something more in my future than I dreamed possible._

_And, this 5'4" girl made it happen._

_I rise to my feet while sliding my hands to hold her face. She and I take a moment to silently agree to what's about to happen. Her arms wrap around my waist. My heart is pounding as I move my lips to hers._

_"Thank you for saving me."_

* * *

_Do I have anyone that is #TeamCyrus ? Kinda feeling like teetering to that end of the scale. Let hear it._


End file.
